(Closed) Wedding Fever

posted 9 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
818 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

I thought I was until Fiance proposed so hang in there.

Post # 4
Member
497 posts
Helper bee

I think it is entirely normal to be on a different timeline than your boyfriend.  If we all reached the next step at the same time, life would be pretty predictable and boring.  One of the hardest things to do was wait for Mr Corn to propose to me…it wasn’t because I couldn’t propose to him, but rather because I was ready for the next step and he wasnt.  Waiting for him was the best thing I could do.  You don’t want to pressure someone into marrying you, and when they decide that they DO want to marry you, you KNOW without a shadow of a doubt that they made that decision with as much thought and consideration as they possibly could have.

As far as being wedding addicted…it goes with the territory…just don’t go crazy and you should be ok.

Post # 5
Member
81 posts
Worker bee

i totally feel you on this! my bf and i have been together almost 3 years (anniversary in 1 month), and since my brother got married last summer, i can’t stop thinking about what our wedding will be like, and obsessing about when it will be! i think it’s mostly bc of my brother’s wedding–my sister-in-law was overseas during the engagement and my brother did pretty much all of the planning, so through helping him and seeing all the planning and what kinds of family issues it all brought up, i got kind of a sneak peek into what i’ll want to do (and not want to do)…

i would totally propose to my bf, theoretically, except i really don’t think he feels ready yet. even though we’re basically married (live together, puppy-parents together, own a car together) and talk about getting married "someday" and about our future lives together. he’s just on a slower timeline than i am, i think, and i don’t want to push him, don’t want him to say yes just because he feels pressured to, etc. i want him to want to get married and be excited about it…so we’ll see…it’s funny, he’ll bring things up like potentially buying a house or an apartment together, and or where we’ll move together when i go to grad school next summer, but kinda clams up when i mention anything remotely resembling a timeline for marriage or kids, even though we talk about how we both want that with one another eventually…

my good friend, a married guy, suggested i set a deadline for myself in the future–like, 2 years–and if then if he hasn’t done it yet i should go ahead and propose. and i like that idea. we’re still young, mid-20s, so there’s really no rush. but really, i do want him to propose soon–i want to get married in the city we met in and are living in now and where his family is, and we’re probably going to be moving in summer 2010…so in the meantime, i’m just going to try and be patient and enjoy what we have and focus on the present…and not get my hopes up that he’ll propose on our anniversary, i don’t want to be disappointed! haha…..

Post # 6
Member
1045 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2008

My fiance and I never once talked about getting married, until the day he proposed, nine months after our first date.  So, you never know what he could be already planning for you…  🙂 

That being said, please try not to put so much pressure on yourself, or feel like you have to meet some magic timeline, even though it’s difficult.  Your profile says you’re 25, but your post makes the point that you two are ‘approaching thirty.’  It sounds like you’re internalizing a lot of the outside pressures that make us women feel like there’s a ticking timebomb out there, looming over our heads. 

You say that you’re ‘so excited to share your life with him,’ but sharing your life with him doesn’t wait to start till you get engaged– it’s happening now, in the adventures you’re sharing together and the strong foundation you’re building.  Don’t focus too much on looking forward to the future that you forget to live in the moment and enjoy the present.

But yeah, it’s sort of hard to not get Wedding Fever when you’re on Weddingbee– this site is addictive!  🙂

 

Post # 7
Member
215 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Approaching 3.5 years here, and I’m in a similar boat as you. In our case, we’ve been talking about marriage from very early on, as our relationship was really serious from day one. And he has told me that we’ll be engaged within another year, which I do hope he sticks to.

 But I too hate that feeling of having no control over such a very important decision. I’d propose but my boyfriend is very traditional and I know he would just shake his head and say, "It doesn’t work like that, sweetie."

 And I’m with you on always being the one to bring it up, too – it’s hard, isn’t it? 

 I’m with you totally on this issue 🙂 Just take it day by day and try not to get too obsessed (something I’m definitely saying and not doing, but good advice nonetheless).

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