(Closed) Wedding Finances – who is responsible?

posted 7 years ago in Money
  • poll: Who is paying for MOST of the wedding cost? How does that make you feel?
    I am : (30 votes)
    13 %
    He is : (18 votes)
    8 %
    My parents : (51 votes)
    22 %
    His Parents : (3 votes)
    1 %
    We're splitting it : (92 votes)
    41 %
    Our parent's are splitting it : (17 votes)
    7 %
    Other - please explain : (16 votes)
    7 %
  • Post # 3
    13248 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    My parents are footing the vast majority; we are contributing some and his parents are contributing some.  I feel extremely grateful that my parents offered to give me such a great present as this so I could have the wedding I dreamed of.  That being said, I feel like it gives them more of a say of what goes into the wedding that what I want, or what Fiance wants, or what Future In-Laws want.  (Luckily, most of the time, all of our opinions have been in sync!)

    Post # 4
    2822 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    My Fi & I are paying for our wedding. We’ve had some contributions from family members here & there that we really appreciate. Neither of our parents are in the position to help pay for our wedding & we are completely fine with that.

    Post # 5
    1319 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2012

    My parents are traditional, so they expected to foot the vast majority of the bill, and did. I’m pretty traditional too, so I guess I felt fine about it. DH’s mom paid for the rehearsal dinner, and a few little things along the way, and I was very grateful because she didn’t have to.

    Post # 6
    2702 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    my mother offered to pay for the food which was 12K. She was very adamant on this. We were very grateful for her contribution. His dad contributed $5000 and his mom contributed $3000. We contributed a whopping $17K.

    When we first started talking about money his parents said they want to give X amount. My mom wanted to pay for food. We covered the rest. I put away half of my paycheck to the wedding account

    Post # 7
    6892 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    My parents gave us a set amount, and anything we wanted to go over was our responsibility. Being that I’m not into spending a lot and we’re still just getting started financially, we only went over about 1K. The Rehearsal is being paid for by his Dad, but it’s pretty low-key. I should mention that my parents have been talking about paying for our wedding for years and also that we’re not spending a lot. It’s a less than 10K wedding.

    Post # 8
    14657 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    My parents paid about 60% of it and we paid the rest.  (not including rehersal dinner that his parents paid for).   I feel fine with it.  We never asked for it, and my mom casually offered with no set numbers, just a ‘we will pay for the recpetion’ statement.  We still planned and went ahead with it as if we were paying and was fully prepared to pay for it all.  But when it came time, my mom asked for a total so they could get the check to the venue.  It was just a great bonus we never really counted on cause although it was mentioned, I wasnt going to actually ask for it when the day came.  I hadnt asked my parents for money since I was 16 and wasnt going to this time either.

    Post # 9
    302 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    He is paying for most of the wedding.

    I am helping to pay for the wedding but he makes double what I make so he is putting in double the money into the wedding fund.

    My mom was a single mother who worked like a dog and I don’t want to take the money she saved up for her retirement though it meant a lot that she offered.

    His mother offered to help out and is paying for the rehersal dinner but she has 2 kids in college and another one starting in September so we didn’t feel right taking money from her.

    His dad is a millionaire but has not offered to help pay the wedding (actually he has stated that he will cut Fiance out of his will if we get married), so it’s just us paying for the wedding.

    Post # 10
    1866 posts
    Buzzing bee

    My FH and I are paying for most everything ourselves, with the following exceptions:

    My parents gave me an amount that’s about 1.5% of our total budget

    FH parents are paying for the rehearsal dinner, officiant, and late night snacks

    I feel a little upset that my parents didn’t contribute more, but only b/c they paid for my sister’s entire wedding, and then just gave me a very small amount.  I feel a bit resentful because I feel like it’s unfair.  But otherwise, I’m grateful that FH’s parents are helping with a few items, and I also feel proud that FH and I are able to pay for the wedding ourselves.

    Post # 11
    6247 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 1900

    My parents are paying 1/3 – they told us upfront that they are giving us a set amount and Fiance and I decided that this would be 1/3 the cost of the entire wedding.  Fiance and I are paying the rest, except that his parents are handling the rehearsal dinner.

    Post # 12
    5095 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Our parents split it three ways (my mom and stepdad, my dad and stepmom, and his parents). My main feeling about it was gratitude – that they had the means, and that they were so generous. We had what I would consider a mid-range wedding, although it was cheapter than the average range in our area according to those bogus surveys.

    I felt a tiny bit bad that we couldn’t afford it ourselves, but I was a grad student and he was between jobs, so either they paid for it or we went to the courthouse.  Luckily, he has a job now, and I’m graduating (knock on wood!) this semester, so we’ll be a bit more comfortable soon, I hope.

    Post # 13
    5667 posts
    Bee Keeper

    We’re not really splitting it because our finances are joint but I guess that’s the closest option. My parents decided to host the rehearsal/welcome dinner after they insisted I add to my guest count but that is the only assistance we’re recieving from our parents. I’m fine with it. Them hosting the rehearsal is more than I expected.

    Post # 14
    6123 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    The couple should pay for their own wedding.


    It would make me feel proud, indpendent, and like I’m doing the right thing to pay for my own wedding.

    Post # 15
    1575 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I am paying for the wedding and the post-wedding pig roast. FH is paying for everything associated with the honeymoon. My contribution is about 5K and his will be around 3K, but I make more money than him. I am very comfortable with the arrangements.

    Post # 16
    3305 posts
    Sugar bee

    I am paying for the wedding. My side has offered to help but I think I will be fine without their contribution.

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