Post # 1
Hi everyone, I need some advice on the touchy subject of money.
I’m a bridesmaid (no one is named maid of honor or best man) in my best friend’s wedding. My husband is also a groomsmen. My Bridesmaid or Best Man dress cost about $200, I also had to buy a Vietnamese dress for the rehearsal (just for funsies, there’s nothing culturally traditional about the wedding or rehearsal), and my hubby spent almost $200 for his tux rental. We went to Vegas for a weekend for her bachelorette party, and her sister and I hosted her bridal shower. Hubby attended the bachelor party dinner. The wedding is fairly local, but we are staying at the hotel where the wedding is taking place for the rehearsal and wedding night (but we might cancel one of those nights).
On the flip side, when I got married last year, she spent about the same on her Bridesmaid or Best Man dress. I only had a (local) bachelorette party and no bridal shower. Her then boyfriend attended the bachelor party, but was not in the wedding. The wedding itself was destination (in southern California while we live in Northern California) and she wasn’t able to attend the rehearsal.
They gave us $300 for our Honeyfund. They’re really close friends of ours, but I feel like we’ve spent so much more on their wedding already than they did on ours (not complaining, just a fact)…do we owe them the same amount? I’m kind of unemployed right now, lol
Post # 3
Since you’re not working and circumstances are different, I’d say you don’t have to give the same amount. I’d probably give $200.
Post # 4
I don’t think gifts should be a tit for tat thing. I generally give them based off my financial situation & how close I am with the B&G. Personally, I don’t think gifts from the bridal party are even required, but they are a nice touch. I’m sure your friend understands your financial situation, so just give what you’re comfortable giving, and don’t worry about it. I know that my friends and I exchange gifts all the time, and it seems to even out. I might be more generous one Christmas, but not be able to afford a birthday gift for a friend. A friend might pick up the tab at dinner a few times, but I might spend more participating in her wedding…it all works out.
If you’re worried you’ll look “cheap”, consider bargain hunting for a tangible gift online. You can have it mailed to her house, and she won’t know how much you spent.
Post # 5
@les105: I agree with your comment about gifts from the bridal party not being necessary. I was Maid/Matron of Honor for my friend’s wedding and vice versa. She gave us a monetary gift, and I just gave it right back when it was her turn. Seemed so uncessary! Hubby had it right when him and his groomsmen were both in each other’s weddings, so they agreed to cover each other’s tux costs and call it even, lol Plus since we were all getting married the same year, funds were not aplenty. XD Thanks for your input!
@celticbride: That’s about what I was thinking…thanks!
Post # 6
Im not getting my friend a gift when Im her Bridesmaid or Best Man in Jan. At the start we were paying for our dresses ($150 I think) hair and make up. When her sister organised a murder mystery dinner that was going to cost $70 I said I couldnt go as Im saving for my own wedding and didnt want to pay anymore. So the sister who has some sort of dress business offered to pay for dress so I could go to the dinner. Im still not giving a gift though. She has given herself the tightest budget, she found a place which has really bad reviews..no venue hire, cash bar, so she isnt paying for a lot of big stuff but she is still having 4 Bridesmaid or Best Man..she couldve had 1 or 2 and paid for some of the expenses
Post # 7
When I was in my friends wedding, I gave her $300. I would give your friend something. Probably $150-200.