(Closed) Wedding gift disaster!

posted 4 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 2
435 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

That is ashame. It would be nice to be able to personalize every thank you card but in this case I don’t think you have a chose. I think you just need to do your best and possibly make generic thank you to any card you have. I think people will forgive you as long as they receive a thank you card. It the thought and effort that matters. 

Post # 3
2805 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

mimigirl7:  agreed.

Did anyone take photos of guests at the shower? Maybe you could include a photo in each card, It might help seen more thoughtful.

Post # 4
1867 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Could you try social media?  Maybe post something like “Husband and I are so thankful for the lovely gifts we received at our wedding!  Unfortunately, it appears some of the cards have become separated from their corresponding gifts.  We have received a crystal vase, a ninja blender, and a blue casserole dish that we are so excited to use!  If one of these gifts was from you, please contact us so we can thank you personally!”  It might be worth a try.

Post # 5
217 posts
Helper bee

I think a generalized card is better than no card… my friend got married last august and I spent a good 100+ on her shower and wedding (which, for a university student was a lot) and didnt get so much as a thank you card. It’s the thought that counts. 

Maybe you could spread through the grapevine what happened.

I know it’s too late now, but thats why you always have your Maid/Matron of Honor or Bridesmaid or Best Man take inventory as youre opening the gifts! 🙂

Post # 6
528 posts
Busy bee

I’d assume that there wouldn’t be any cash or checks in the cards for the physical gifts so you could set those aside and narrow it down to a much smaller list of potential gift givers for the items in question.  Some of our guests even wrote something about the gift in the card – for example, the giver of a crystal vase said something about Darling Husband always keeping it full of beautiful flowers.  That might help you figure out who gave what as well.  Once you have the list narrowed down, it might be easier to approach those people (or have your parents/in-laws/DH do it – depending on who is closest to them).  

Post # 7
528 posts
Busy bee

pipsqueak:  I know it’s too late now, but thats why you always have your Maid/Matron of Honor or Bridesmaid or Best Man take inventory as youre opening the gifts! 🙂


This wasn’t her shower – it was the wedding reception.

Post # 8
2942 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

We had a few gifts that didn’t have cards.  One of my friends at the wedding came up and told me that they forgot the card.  Still had to double check what they gave us.

I would start by going through your gifts.  You may be able to process of elimination some of the gifts.   For us, a lot of people stuck gift receipts in their cards, which allowed us to match two cards that ended up away from their gift. 

Like other Bee said, people who gave you cash likely aren’t getting you a box gift, so you can set those aside too.  Look at how many you have at the end and if you can’t figure it out, then I would privately contact people who you know gave a gift that you can’t attach too.  That was what we did with our friend.

 After all of that is done, I would then throw up a quick post about some cards getting misplaced, and list off the box gifts and ask people to privately message you if the gift is their’s.  After it is all done, still send thank you cards to anyone who gave you a card. 

Post # 9
462 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I would first check with you and your and hubby’s parents and moh/bestman, let them know what happened and see if they know who got you guys what and that should narrow down the list a lot. Then as pp mentioned make a spreadsheet and mark down those who put checks or cash in cards, that would narrow it down some more

Post # 10
2506 posts
Sugar bee

I would just reach out and ask people. They’ll understand. Also, you would only ask people from whom you received a card, so you know they got you a gift – you wouldn’t ask everyone. It doesn’t come across as gift grabby this way – just a mistake. Shit happens. People understand. Just be upfront about it. 

Post # 11
7432 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

I would just send a generic Thank You card to everyone. Folks who gave a gift will be expecting a specific “thanks Aunt Mary for the great toaster oven” message and will reach out when they don’t get one. You can then explain the situation directly with them, rather than a broadcast message that might feel like a guilt trip to someone who gave nothing or just a card.

Post # 12
1579 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

pearlrose:  Our friend did this – same thing happened to them and the people that either bought the items or knew who bought them messaged the couple. 


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