(Closed) Wedding gift FROM bridesmaid – how much is appropriate?

posted 10 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 17
Member
987 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

I tend to spend the same amount as I would as a normal guest.  I think the fact that you’ve had to pay for a dress and other things as fairly irrelevant.  In my opinion, BMs are expected to spend money on the wedding but this doesn’t exclude them from also purchasing a gift. 

My BMs spent varying amounts on me – one didn’t get me anything, most spent around $100 – $200 probably, and one spent around $400 (she’s also the one who earns the least). 

Post # 18
Member
435 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

One wedding my husband and I both stood up in cost us about $1,000 between showers, bachelor/ette parties, hotel, travel, dresses, tux, hair……  We gave $250.  They’re good friends.

Post # 19
Member
9050 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

Hmm… I gave $150 the time I was Maid/Matron of Honor for my friend.

As for what we got…

Two of my bridesmaids gave very nice presents, probably around $300ish that were from them and their parents (my best friends growing up).  My sister/MOH gave $50 but she’s a starving student.

My husband’s sister and her fiance who were both in our wedding party paid for our cake ($300).

the other two groomsmen each gave $100 cash.

We also gave them thank you gifts in the $100 range.

 

Post # 20
Member
5984 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1999

Give what you feel comfortable with, not what you think someone is expecting from you!  When I’ve been in a friends wedding, I’ve usually given a gift of $100.  We received a broad range of gifts from those in our wedding party, including: frequent flyer miles towards airfare to the Cayman Islands, a $50 check, a Newlywed Ornament Set, gifts from our registry, a $100 gift card to Target, hairstylist for my wedding day, and no gift at all (but, she flew from CA 3 times in 3 months for various events). 

Post # 20
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: December 1969

 

View original reply
kperry3:  The expectation in Ontario is that at minimum all bridesmaids attend the shower, the bachelorette, and of course the wedding. And proper etiquette is to give a gift at the shower even if you can’t attend and to give a gift at the wedding on top of what it costs you to be a bridesmaid. Your friend must really value your friendship to have not said anything because it sounds like you broke every etiquette rule out there and left your friend a couple hundred dollars in debt! 

Post # 21
Member
263 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

View original reply
cookiecrumbs26:  Considering all of your help and hard work, I think most people don’t expect their bridal party to get gifts for the actual wedding. I can see bridal shower, but day of, if you want to give a gift I’d give $100 and a really nice card a d maybe something meaningful to your friendship. You’ve gone above and beyond what a guest would be able to give gift or money wise, it probably means more that you’re with her on her big day than whatever gift you would give.

Post # 22
Member
502 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I would advise you to just give what you can afford. You sound like you’re being an awesome bridesmaid. The bride sounds like she’s really gracious and understanding, so I’m sure she will be happy with whatever you manage. My friends who’ve gotten married have always focused more on how happy they are to see me rather than what gift I give, and I’ve never been able to afford much. I’m sure your friend will feel the same way and is more focused on how much you’re doing to stand up with her on her big day.

Post # 23
Member
78 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2014 - lindsay lakes, cypress TX

Wow – as others said, you already have been an amazing bridesmaid! I guess it really depends on your “circle” and the type of things you are all used to. I definetly would not go broke buying a gift for her after all you have done. How about something personal? That way she cannot attach an exact dollar amount to your gift (she won’t know) and it will be something she can keep forever and remember you by! I gave my friends this custom cutting board when I was a Maid/Matron of Honor and she still keeps it up on display in her house. https://www.etsy.com/listing/81103169/personalized-cutting-board-custom?ref=sr_gallery_1&ga_search_query=personalized+cutting+board&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery

Post # 24
Member
8684 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I didn’t expect a gift from my bridedmaids after all the money that they spent. When they asked what I wanted or needed as a gift I stressed for them to give us nothing. $200 is very generous on top of everything else IMO. 

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