(Closed) Wedding gift- no thank you, what to do?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Hostess
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

Are you sure that you’re worried and not just annoyed? It’s fine if you’re annoyed, I would be too. If this is the case I would try to let it go.

If you really are worried I would just ask her about it in a nice way. I.E. “I was just thinking about how we didn’t leave a card at your wedding but instead put some cash in an envelope. I’m sorry about that, I bet it was confusing. Did you receive it?”

 

Post # 5
Member
11233 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Ugh, this is so hard. I’m a big believer in doing things ASAP, so when I sent a friend of ours a wedding gift before the wedding and gave a card at the wedding, but didn’t receive a thank you for over five months, I was agitated AND worried that maybe our gift had been swiped off of their porch. Thankfully, they did actually apologize halfway between the wedding and when we got the thank you that they hadn’t sent them out yet (with no good excuse), and then we did eventually get one. 

I don’t blame you for being worried or agitated. $500 cash is a lot of money, and I’d be more than a little upset if they didn’t thank you OR if someone swiped it. : I’m not sure there’s any good way to approach it, though.

Post # 6
Member
7211 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@sweetestsin:  I wouldn’t worry about  it. If they did get it and didn’t thank you- you’re pointing out that they were rude. If they didn’t get it then they’re just going to worry about losing the money and feel horrible.

Post # 7
Member
9181 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

I would ask!  Yikes, $500 is a LOT to be potentially missing.  If you ask politely I’m sure it won’t be rude (especially because let’s face it, taking 9+ months to thank someone for a huge gift like that is SUPER rude!).

Post # 8
Member
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

Ordinarily you should probably not ask, but since it’s family I would think it would be fine to do so casually (and certainly not in a way that it sounds like you’re pointing out the slight of not getting a thank you.)

That said, not thanking someone who gives you that kind of $$ is RUDE!

Post # 10
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I would ask… $500 is a lot to not know if it even got to them. I’d ask even with a smaller gift, heh.

Post # 11
Member
1652 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I would ask a relative to try and subtly check with them for you?

Post # 12
Member
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Mrsluckywife:  +1

I was going to suggest the same thing.

Post # 13
Member
206 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I would ask…it’s no big deal.  Just a casual FB message or text or something saying that you just want to make sure they got your card, you were confused of where to put it at the reception, so you’re just not sure if it got to them.   something like that.  I wouldn’t be offended or angry if someone asked me that (although I might be a little embarrassed that I haven’t acknowledged it yet…)

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