Post # 1
Last summer, I was invited to a second cousin’s wedding, it was across the country and I travelled there with my sister. While we were there, everyone was so appreciative and happy that we could make it. They welcomed us with open arms and we had a really great time.
We gave them a card with a pretty large sum of CASH in it ($500)… there was no card box, just a basket on the guest book table that we left it in when we arrived. 9 months later, we still have not received a thank you. I don’t really care about etiquette, a simple facebook message to let us know they received it would have done just fine. Because it was in cash, I honestly just want to make sure they got it, and I don’t want to look like the people who showed up without even a card if it went missing!
What do I do? Should I ask them if they got it? We’re not exactly close, so I can’t just bring it up in casual conversation. I know things happen and thank you cards can fall by the wayside, so I don’t want to seem like a b*tch for asking… I just don’t know what to do!
Post # 3
Are you sure that you’re worried and not just annoyed? It’s fine if you’re annoyed, I would be too. If this is the case I would try to let it go.
If you really are worried I would just ask her about it in a nice way. I.E. “I was just thinking about how we didn’t leave a card at your wedding but instead put some cash in an envelope. I’m sorry about that, I bet it was confusing. Did you receive it?”
Post # 4
Oops! I don’t think I was clear! We got them a beautiful handmade card, which we enclosed the cash in… but we just left it on the guestbook table in a small basket, so it absolutely could have gone missing.
This is going to sound so bad… but I’m going to be totally honest here.
I’m just “worried” about looking bad, cheap and not thoughtful. I would never show up to a wedding without a gift, but at the very LEAST a card! I guess it’s the selfish part of me that is worried, and I should just leave it alone. I just don’t want my gossipy family talking about how we went to their wedding “we didn’t even get them a card” if it in fact did go missing!
Post # 5
Ugh, this is so hard. I’m a big believer in doing things ASAP, so when I sent a friend of ours a wedding gift before the wedding and gave a card at the wedding, but didn’t receive a thank you for over five months, I was agitated AND worried that maybe our gift had been swiped off of their porch. Thankfully, they did actually apologize halfway between the wedding and when we got the thank you that they hadn’t sent them out yet (with no good excuse), and then we did eventually get one.
I don’t blame you for being worried or agitated. $500 cash is a lot of money, and I’d be more than a little upset if they didn’t thank you OR if someone swiped it. : I’m not sure there’s any good way to approach it, though.
Post # 6
@sweetestsin: I wouldn’t worry about it. If they did get it and didn’t thank you- you’re pointing out that they were rude. If they didn’t get it then they’re just going to worry about losing the money and feel horrible.
Post # 7
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
I would ask! Yikes, $500 is a LOT to be potentially missing. If you ask politely I’m sure it won’t be rude (especially because let’s face it, taking 9+ months to thank someone for a huge gift like that is SUPER rude!).
Post # 8
Ordinarily you should probably not ask, but since it’s family I would think it would be fine to do so casually (and certainly not in a way that it sounds like you’re pointing out the slight of not getting a thank you.)
That said, not thanking someone who gives you that kind of $$ is RUDE!
Post # 9
I’m still conflicted, you bees all give such good advice!!! Thank you! 🙂
This is really a learning experience for me… My thank you cards are DEFINITELY going to be sent out in a timely manner! Guests don’t even necessarily want the thank you.. just an acknowledgement that you received it!
Post # 10
I would ask… $500 is a lot to not know if it even got to them. I’d ask even with a smaller gift, heh.
Post # 11
I would ask a relative to try and subtly check with them for you?
Post # 12
I was going to suggest the same thing.
Post # 13
I would ask…it’s no big deal. Just a casual FB message or text or something saying that you just want to make sure they got your card, you were confused of where to put it at the reception, so you’re just not sure if it got to them. something like that. I wouldn’t be offended or angry if someone asked me that (although I might be a little embarrassed that I haven’t acknowledged it yet…)