Post # 1
Member
14 posts
Newbee
When my husband and I were married one of our groomsmen gave us a very generous gift (an $800 check). Now his wedding is coming up and my husband feels like we have to give the same amount, or at least very close. I disagree because we just can’t afford to do so! As a couple, we usually give more in the $200 range, so I thought if we bumped up our gift giving to a $300 to $350 gift from his friend’s registry, that would be fine.
I truly appreciate his friend’s thoughtful gift, but I don’t think it’s necessary to reciprocate exactly when we don’t have the financial means to do so. What would you all do in our situation?
Post # 3
Member
3526 posts
Sugar bee
I don’t think you have to necessarily match exactly the same amount. But I would def go more than $350 seeing as he was a single guy and you guys are two people. Is he WAY more better off financially than you two?
Generally speaking I would think to reciprocate the amount.
Post # 4
Member
1801 posts
Buzzing bee
If you don’t have the means, then don’t do it. You can’t go into debt or not be able to afford groceries to match his generosity. I think a gift from the registry will still show your care and support, without putting you in a tight spot. I’m sure your friend would understand perfectly.
Post # 5
Member
546 posts
Busy bee
I am interested to see responses on this. If you don’t have the financial means to do so, I personally wouldn’t reciprocate with a gift that large. That was really awesome that they gave you such a generous wedding gift, but I think a really nice 200-300 gift off of their registry and your attendance would be appreciated just as much.
I wouldn’t want to overextend my finances to give someone a wedding gift and I would hope your friends wouldn’t either.
Post # 6
Member
453 posts
Helper bee
Personally, I always say “a gift is a gift.” It’s not given to get something back! I think $300 or $350 is fine! In fact, it’s downright generous. Why he gave you $800…who knows! But he mus thave had the money to spare.
Post # 7
Member
2201 posts
Buzzing bee
I would say that you need to stay within your financial means and do what you’re comfortable with. If your husband wants to “up” the contribution, maybe include in the gift an invitation for a double date when the happy couple returns from their honeymoon. That way you can pick up the check for dinner (and pick a place you are comfortable with going to) and spend quality time together. And spread out the cost of the gift a little bit.
Post # 8
Hostess
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
I really don’t think that you need to give someone what they gave you as a gift. Gifts are about showing your love and support not one-upping eachother. If you can’t afford to give someone $800, then don’t do it!
Post # 9
Member
246 posts
Helper bee
Wow, that’s a tough one! It’s hard not to take someone’s gift to you into account while purchasing their gift. In fact, it’s something that I have definitely taken into account while purchasing and I have sometimes spent above my usual price range because their gift to me was so generous. However, I would not go beyond what I was able to afford while still being responsible with my budget. I would stick with a budget range you are comfortable with but put extra thought and effort into how to make your dollars stretch as far as possible. Perhaps you could go for a gift with added sentimental value. Or, maybe you can find a bargain so that your gift is worth more than you spend. I don’t know where they are registered but whenever I shop from a Macy’s registry, I always wait for the weekend sales. Especially around major Holidays you can find awesome deals on registry items, I’ve saved over 50% sometimes! This of course allows me to get a gift worth more than I would be able to other wise. Good luck!
Post # 10
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
I’ve often thought about this myself. We have been getting gifts and people are gifting way more then I would have ever imagined. I’ve always done the 50-75 dollar range but now feel bad because people are doing more then that for me. I can’t go back and give them another wedding gift since it’s been years in some cases. But I at least have changed my thoughts on upcoming weddings.
I think that it also depends on your current money levels and other things going on in your lives.
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