Post # 1
If you’re already married, did you notice guests who didn’t purchase a gift or give a card to you on your big day?
Were you invited to their weddings and did you consciously or subconsiously take this into account at their reception? Or did it never even cross your mind!? Just curious to see how you handled or WOULD handle this situation.
Post # 3
I think it depends on who the individual is. I wouldn’t get them nothing, but maybe I’d spend less. If I thought there could be a reason for the lack of gift or card, I might ignore it altogether and spend what I typically would
Post # 4
I think it depends on the couple’s situation… if I know they are strapped for cash, I’d still give my normal gift (but it does suck they didn’t even get you a card!!). If they were openly flaunting wealth, i’d probably still get them a gift, but a lot less than I normally give.
Post # 5
It depends. Did they give you a gift for any other wedding related event like and engagement party or a shower? It’s pretty common where I live for people to give a shower gift and not a wedding gift.
Are they significantly younger than you? Maybe they just didn’t understand gifting for weddings. Also if it was the guy of the couple who was the primary person invited, with the girl being his guest, yeah, men are clueless too. My FH is 100% clueless on anything etiquette or wedding related. He has literally told me, “oh yeah, we have to be at Bob and jenny’s wedding at 5:30 today,” um who? Ya think you might have mentioned this 6 weeks ago.
If you are friends with them,in the same peer group, age group, social group, income group? If those factors are all the same, I’d just go with the cheaper gift idea.
Post # 6
We had 17 people not give us a gift or card at our wedding. If/when those folks get married, we’ll still get them a gift, just as we would anyone else. Two wrongs don’t make a right and I don’t believe in being spiteful to friends.
Post # 7
@tampalove35: Good question. I’m not sure about this. He has 3 siblings, and NONE of them got us so much as a card. I was pretty hurt and insulted by that, especially since they’re all making decent money now and spending lots of it. I used to do nice things for his siblings, but because of several incidents, I now don’t. I don’t think I’d ever give them a gift, and the lack of a wedding gift/card is a contributing factor, but not the only reason.
Other people who didn’t get us gifts… meh. Sure, it’s sort of rude, IMO, but if they got married and we were invited, I’d show up with a card and gift.
Post # 8
Good answers, I was just curious. I’m a little PO’d that some of our guests (only 2) are bringing guests although there was clearly no idication of a +1 on the invite. These are family members that I’m not close to and they don’t have long term relationships. I actually have no clue who the guests are.
But these are also people who didn’t bring the bride a card or gift at the last family wedding (my sibling)*not very surprising. I SHOULD say something because it’s getting under my skin how rude it was to invite someone without a +1 but I’m trying to let it slide….but the thought of them not even bringing a card is just slowly creeping under my skin considering how much money will be spent on their plates!
I guess this is what happens when parents don’t allow family members to be cut from the guest list (we wanted a VERY small intimate wedding that is not happening at their request)
Post # 9
I always try to be bigger person which can be hard!
Id bring a small gift ($50) a and card.
I could never attend a wedding without bringing a gift.