Post # 1
My cousin is getting married in two weeks and I still don’t have a gift for her. Well, I have a small gift for her for the night of the bachelorette party in a week when I see her (bubble bath & candy, for a pamper yourself thought) but nothing yet for the wedding. Now I know they are renovating their kitchen, as are we, and thus they have subtlely suggested gift cards to Home Depot and Best Buy rather than registry items. I’m ok giving gift cards because it’s something they really want (they are paying for the wedding entirely themselves because her mom refuses to pay anything as they lived together prior to the wedding. backwards logic but so it goes) and well, gifts should be about the receiver’s preferences not the giver.
My question is, for those who have received or given gifts of money, what’s the average amount you gave/received from those fairly close to you family or friends? I’m leaning towards $150 or $200, but I don’t know which figure and if that’s reasonable. I know to give what I can afford and what I want to give, but I’m curious to know how in line with reality is my gift.
My brother, sister and I are her only cousins (I have one more cousin on the other side of the family) and growing up we spent two weeks every summer together on the beach no matter where we were living at the time, so we’re fairly close but we’ve never lived near each other. I’m attending the wedding with my boyfriend, if that affects your answer.
Post # 3
You’ll find this varies a LOT by region/area.
My midwest friends and family tend to give $50-100, depending on how close you are, and how well off they are. Our DC friends tended closer to $150 though, even people we aren’t as close to.
Where do you live?
Post # 4
The average amount I give and the average I received were totally different so I can’t respond to your poll. I was shocked at our wedding presents to be quite frank. Darling Husband and I usually give a minimum of $100/person (so $200 from both of us, or $300 for close friends) and we probably received on average $25 per guest (when you factor in the amount the tangible gifts were worth). Of course we were grateful for everything we received, but were still shocked by this realization. I live in NYC and was married in Philly if that helps.
Post # 5
We found that people gave either $50, $75, $100 or $150 per person. $75 per person was the most common amount that our work friends gave us. $100 per person was the most common amount for longtime family friends and extended family. Close family and longtime friends gave us $150 per person. I also found that older people, like my parent’s friends gave more money than younger people.
Post # 6
My general rule of thumb is $50 per person attending unless they are particularly close to you. For example: In 2008 one of my best friends got married so Fiance and I gave her $150. Last year FI’s brother got married and we gave them $250 and a few months after that one of my best friends married one of FI’s best friends and we gave them $200. I attended a co-workers wedding solo last year and gave her $50. It really depends on your relationship to the couple and the area you live in.
Post # 7
I usually go with about $100, a little more if it is from both myself and FH.
Post # 8
@ddw: I live in Boston, my cousin live in Florida. I’m guessing both are on the higher end of things. I didn’t post my financial status because I didn’t want that to influence answers overly much (I’m currently on unemployment, but I do have a lot saved for this rainy day so while I try to be careful with finances, I can afford to give what I like and should I actually manage to find another job, I’m in a well-paying career)
@moderndaisy: Wow, I’d never expect $25 as the average. That said, I attended a wedding just after college as the guest, and I found out afterwards that my friend had only given a gift worth $25, so I know it does happen.
@EmEv: Yes, I almost added in that I’m 31 (cousin 32), but figured that my post was already far too lengthy and would scare folks away!
Post # 9
I normally give about $75ish for wedding gifts. However, I also factor in that I spent atleast $50 on a shower gift. For my shower I averaged $50 on gift cards.
Post # 10
I think a lot of it depends on your social circle, type of wedding and how close the people are to you.
I gave 200 dollars to a close family friend (my age) that we have been friends with for 3 generations. so essentially family. And I flew across the country for the wedding.
For my friend? I bought presents on her registry for a great deal with sales and coupons. It came to about $250, but I only spent about $130. Not including the bridal shower I went to.
However, I went to another wedding where the general circle of friends weren’t as financially comfortable and didn’t want to over-give (people like to talk). I gave $75 and a vase for the wedding.
Post # 11
Depends a TON on region…our most common monetary amount was probably $300 for each couple (so $150 per person) and that’s generally what Darling Husband and I give as well, although we might give more for close family.
Post # 12
50.00 to a 100.00 depending on my relationship.
Post # 13
We give $300/couple. But we are in New York.
Post # 14
We gave $250 to each couple at the last wedding we went to.
Post # 15
My standard policy for a really close friend or family member is $100 if I am the only one attending the wedding, or $200 if it is from both me and my husband. I typically give $50 if from just me, or $100 from both me and husband for other weddings of people I am not quite as close with.
Post # 16
I know some people say you should only give what you can afford. I do things a little different. I take some things into cosideration: how close we are, did i have to travel to go to the event and did I buy a shower gift. Typically, we give at least $140-200 for the wedding and typically $40-100 on shower gifts. Planning a wedding myself, I know how much it costs to feed one person. I would never give less than $100.