Post # 1
We had our destination wedding (5 days, 4 nights all inclusive including alcohol and food
) in Cabo on March 1st. We paid for the flights, hotels, and all the all-inclusive expenses for 95% of our guests. Approx 10% of our invited guests did not attend. in total we received gifts from 30% of our total invited guests.
Should I Thank you cards to those who came, eventhough we footed their entire bill? Some feel attending is the gift. Should I wait for the year to receive a gift? Should I expect a gift from those who couldn’t attend? How do I handle taking 52 people on a 5 day paid vacation to celebrate our wedding who didn’t send gifts.
It’s weird situation I don’t know how to handle.
Post # 3
This comes from Emily Post: no, you should not send thank-you notes to people just for attending. The reason is because at best, it makes about as much sense as sending a thank-you note to people who came to your house for dinner and at worst, people will see it as a passive-aggressive hint that they should send a gift. It’s not customary to send a thank-you for attending (even for a DW) and your guests probably aren’t expecting one anyway.
A nice way of showing your appreciation is to do something like posting your favorite pictures (either the pro’s if you had one, or a family member’s snapshot) on a Kodak gallery or something and sending an email out inviting your guests to view the album. In the email, you can express how grateful you are for your friends’ and family’s love and support.
One more thing: guests are never obligated to give gifts, especially when it comes to Destination Wedding and even if you paid their way. THey aren’t even technically obligated to give gifts for non-DW (even though it’s certainly customary). So send thank-yous for those that did give you presents, but don’t expect more and don’t hold it against others if they didn’t send anything.
Post # 4
How do I handle taking 52 people on a 5 day paid vacation to celebrate our wedding who didn’t send gifts
ouch – with good grace and a smile is my only advise.
Post # 5
We got married in October and just received a gift two weeks ago and I have friends who have told me they are getting a gift but haven’t yet. Some people think you have up to a year to give a gift – others say that’s not true but it doesn’t stop some from waiting until the last moment! You will likely get more trickling in in the months to come. 🙂
Post # 6
wow! That was really nice of you to pay for your guests! But I am shocked at their generosity, a free vacation, and no gift. wowzers.
I would only send thank you cards, to those who actually gave a wedding gift. Like the others said, perhaps some other gifts will trickle in.
Post # 7
@Miss Beacon: +1
I cant believe that you so generously paid for an all expense paid vacation for 52 people and only 15 or so actually gave you a gift. That is rude and ridiculous. I by no means expect to get gifts from every guest that I invite to my wedding (in fact to me it would just be an added bonus), but since you paid for their entire trip, the least they could do is get you a wedding gift.
But to answer your question, I would probably only send thank you letters to those that gave you gifts and also to those that may have not given a gift, but spent their own money to watch you get married. I definitely would not send a thank you note to those that had a paid vacation and gave no gift.
Post # 8
I agree with PP’s- send thank yous to only those who gave a gift. That’s nervy to not bring a gift when your trip is paid for. Half the weddings I’ve been to have required me to fly/stay in hotel (not because they were Destination Wedding, but because a lot of my college friends live out of state) and even after paying for all that, I would never think of not bringing a gift!