Post # 1
I’m waiting to leave for my honeymoon *yaay* and my fiance and I are feeling really strange and can’t shake the feeling. Our wedding was Saturday and it was gorgeous, perfect day, people loved our details, etc… We had a gorgeous tented reception at my parents farm. People loved it.
The problem is some of my fiance’s friends drank waaaay too much. In particular the woman who introduced us. She was so drunk that my father in law came to get me. When I got there she was sitting in a chair her eyes were rolling back into her head. My husband (it’s so cool to call him that) and I picked her up and tried to bring her into the house (it was around 9:30) as we were getting her up the stairs she vomited on me, and my dress. I got her a bucket, held it for her, and held her hair. After she was done I cleaned her off and tried to call someone to come get her (she was alone). No one would come get her. My fiance and I moved her outside with my father’s help to a lawn chair. We took turns sitting with her for 6 hours (yes… until 4 a.m.) missing most of our reception. When she woke up she was still totally drunk demanding her keys. We argued for awhile and she finally let us drive her and her car home (an hour away.. at 4 a.m.)- on the way to her house she puked on my husband. We got back to our home at 6 a.m. What a way to spend our wedding night, eh? No one else would take her, and we couldn’t leave her with a stranger.
Today we were cleaning up and found things from my husband’s other pal’s. Vomit all over, they had a food fight in parents bedroom, 100 dollars worth of cigars in the pool, and I guess a few of them were hitting on my mother.
I feel humiliated, as does my husband. They are his friends, but they typically don’t act like this (they’re all over 26). To tell you the truth it sort of ruined our wedding reception.
i’m angry and want to say something, but don’t know if I should just hold my tounge. We weren’t very good hosts to our guests because we were taking care of this girl. Should we apologize to our other guests, or just let it slide? This is so embarassing.
Oh… someone also got shot with a firework (but is ok).
It was a wedding to be remembered. thanks for letting me vent.
Post # 3
Sorry your friends suck. That sounds like a nightmare. You are very sweet to take care of your friends. I would have hid her keys, locked her in a bedroom and called it a night! 😉 As far as your so-called friends, I’d just leave it be and be the bigger person. They are the tacky ones.
Post # 4
I am glad you are still focusing on the bigger picture (that you are married – hense the *yaay*)-Congrats!! I am sorry to hear about your reception. They were TOTALLY out of line and poor guests. Hopefully most of those who were acting that way feel abd enough on their own to apologize, especially that woman. I would not hestiate to express to them your disappointment in their behavior but I wouldn’t waste too much energy going out of your way to let them have it. Its sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders and should just follow with what feels right. Maybe you could mention in some of your thank you cards to the guests you were not able to spend enough time w/ at the reception that you wish you could have had more time with them. No need to explain what was going on in depth. Many of them probably already knew.
Post # 5
Aw. I am so sorry you had to go through that. You are a bigger person than I am… I probably would’ve been so mad at the drunk friend that I would’ve put them to bed and not stayed up to take care of them. That is a lot to go through on your wedding night!
I think an expression that you would’ve loved to have spent more time with your guests would be appropriate. You were being an incredibly good host to a few and therefore couldn’t be a host to all. As for your friends, if they are your close friends, it seems like it would be worth bringing up, i.e. expressing how it made you feel when they got trashed and acted like teenagers at your wedding. At least it will have been an event to remember 🙂
But congratulations, and way to focus on the positive! It’s funny, my wedding went very smoothly, and yet I find myself focusing on the 1% that I would’ve changed…. not a great attitutde, huh?
Post # 6
I’d make the girl at least pay to have your dress cleaned! I’m worried about the same thing; people getting too drunk at the wedding. I won’t be afraid to have the bartenders cut people off or send them back to their hotel room. At least we’re not having any parties at someone’s home.
Post # 7
Ugh, what horrible friends! I doubt they will say or do much if you tell them, since they didn’t have a problem acting that way in the first place. However, if you just want to get it off your chest, telling them that they really hurt your feelings makes sense. Just don’t expect much on their end, unfortunately. 🙁
Congrats on your wedding!!!!
Post # 8
That girl owes you BIG time!!!!
And cigars in the pool? UGH!! Personally if it was me, next time I was out with them, (if you ever associate with these people again- I don’t think I would), if they bring up the wedding and how fun it was, I’d be snarky and bring it up, "can you believe SOME people actually threw cigars in the pool, threw food and threw up here, here and here? Unbelievable! I mean, the fraternity from hell totally crashed our wedding."
I can’t even imagine how much a venue would charge for cleanup if it happened at a hotel.
But the important thing is that you’re married, and you have a better idea of who has class and who doesn’t.
Edited to Add: Your husband should think about asking his friends to apologize to your parents for what they did to their house and property. What you described goes way above and beyond any typical party mess that one would expext to clean up after hosting. Even if they don’t, maybe your husband could extend some other gesture. I guess everyone’s different, but my parents would be livid.
Post # 9
Tell them but like shibaby said…don’t expect an apology or too much.
Some people just don’t know what jack*sses they are.
Post # 10
Regarding the woman who vomited on your dress – I think you are each responsible for your own actions. She may not have intended to become so drunk; maybe she her body reacted to the alcohol differently than ever before due to what she had eaten or if she had taken any medication etc. She certainly owes you an apology and a portion of your dry cleaning bill. I would ask the dry cleaner how much extra it will cost (above a regular cleaning bill) to remove the vomit stain. I would ask the woman to meet you for coffee and explain to her what happened (she probably doesn’t rememebr) and ask her to pay for that portion of your dry cleaning bill. If she is a decent person she will appologize and write a check immediately. If not then it is a reflection on her bad behavior and I would cut her off as a friend. As for her occupying much of your time, you did not necessarily have to spend your evening with her. You could have called an ambulance and had her taken away so you could rejoin your party. You can’t really blame her for your choice to spend so much time with her. She definately owes you a thank you for sparing her an ambulance bill though. If I were her I would send you flowers and a sincere apology.
In any case I’m sorry you had to deal with such rude guests and such disappointment and embarassment. Hopefully there were also nice moments you can treasure as memories and try to forget the bad ones!
Post # 11
I was Maid/Matron of Honor at a wedding recently with an overly drunk friend, I called a cab, gave them her address and a wad of cash – I heard from her a few days later, she made it home and was fine. That’s what I would have done! You have every right to be upset, but put it aside for a few days and enjoy your honeymoon!
Post # 12
I agree with snmcdowell. Consider bringing up (one-on-one) how the actions hurt your feelings. But you do have to know who did what, so you can only bring this up with people you actually know misbehaved. If they apologize, then let bygones be bygones. But if they don’t understand how rude they were, you may have to reconsider some friendships.
HOWEVER, all of this is for stuff to do AFTER your honeymoon. Go and enjoy!!!