Post # 1
Before I go out and get frustrated…
I have put off gown shopping and seriously looking because, so far, I have not seen anything I like for me online and just browsing in stores. I see beautiful wedding gowns all the time for other brides, enjoy looking at their photos, and I love them on other brides, but not just for me. Gown shopping is suppose to be fun and exciting, but I am hesitant to make an appointment, bring the family, and then walk out not liking anything. When I visit bridal shops, I actually “just look”. People keep telling me to go try some on, but they want to come with me and have “the moment”. I think I prefer going alone, try some on, and if something sticks, make another appointment and bring the family. I don’t want to be pushed into someone else’s moment.
This brings me to bridal magazines. I am not seeing anything that makes me go “yes”. Now, I’ve looked at ethnic gowns from Asia, Africa, European and other places and seem to be drawn to them most. I have been eyeing some Middle Eastern designers and they catch my eye. I am not knocking anyone who wants the traditional bride-look, but I don’t think it will make me happy. I envision an ivory gown with silver or gold embroidery. I love a couture look also. Either there is something wrong with me or I just don’t want to look like a bride.
Any suggestions? Any sites you can recommend as guidance?
For example, I love this look. I love the bottom more than the top. Are there any designers in Amercia that I can go and try gowns similar to this on?
Post # 3
Post # 4
I don’t know where you can go to get dresses like that, but remember a wedding dress does not have to be white! Do what makes you feel comfortable.
As for shopping if you want to go by yourself the first time, just don’t tell anyone what your doing and go out and do it. Then you will know what styles you like.
Even just take one person along for an opinion.
And if you want something not bridal, try going to stores that are not bridal.
Post # 5
I was very hesitant to buy and look for a wedding dress. Everything looked too poofy or too slim fitting. Nothing looked like something I would wear. Once I started trying dresses on I got used to seeing myself in a wedding dress. Then I was able to have a lot of fun trying on dresses! I found one that I am happy with and now I think that it was silly that I was so resistant to a traditional dress in the beginning.
If you want a more “middle eastern” dress, I’m sure you can buy one online or get a tailor to make you one. Do what you and your SO will be happy with.
Post # 6
While I love wedding dresses in general, I never saw a single one in a magazine that I was dying over. Go by yourself and TRY THEM ON. You might be surprised. But definitely don’t take anyone with you until you feel more comfortable.
That dress looks like a modified sari. I know there are stores in Toronto, Chicago and Atlanta where you can get these. I am sure there is something in NYC as well. Google “sari” and a million websites will come up.
Because white is the color of death in these cultures, white might be trickier to find, if you want white.
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Post # 8
@Sschaf: Thanks. Not feeling the dresses on the first link, but I love the second dress’s look and flowy bottom. Very pretty and couture. Good start!
Post # 9
@Mrs.RDV: I don’t know where you can go to get dresses like that, but remember a wedding dress does not have to be white! Do what makes you feel comfortable. As for shopping if you want to go by yourself the first time, just don’t tell anyone what your doing and go out and do it. Then you will know what styles you like.Even just take one person along for an opinion. And if you want something not bridal, try going to stores that are not bridal.
Trust me, I love the idea of a non-white dress! I would chose any color as long as I can be distinguished as a bride amongst the other formal gowns. It seems to me that wedding gowns, as hard as they try to look different, end up looking homogenized. Especially if they are all strapless, white, ruched, etc. (Don’t mean to offend)
To me, a bridal gown should be red carpet worthy and my wedding day is my own red carpet.
I think I may try a formal gown store, I wonder how may ivory-ish gowns will be available?
Post # 10
@BlueChampagne: This is what everyone says, but I think it may be best to go alone first. Thanks, I may find something there. You have this idea of how you want to look on your wedding day. Finding a Middle Eastern dress seems to be difficult to find in a traditional bridal shop, but I may have to travel to a store that specializes in ethic dresses to find more ideal dress.
Post # 11
Am I the odd woman out? Does anyone else feel like me?
I thought there would be more on the Wedding bee, now I definitely feel like a weirdo! 🙂
Post # 12
your not alone! I tried on 6 dresses and did not feel like a bride at all, I am going to get a dress made, its still a wedding dress but more couture 🙂 I am getting it in ivory and gold
Post # 13
Have you thought of going to a pagent boutique? These dresses will be more couture and not so “bridal”. The sales asscociates will also have more of the glam mind set.
I love trying on dresses by myself… Its a time for me to feel like a bride without anyone else’s opinions.
Post # 14
Do you want a traditionally western styled dress but just with different embellishment and styling or do you want an Eastern cut?
Why don’t you look into some Indian sari and dress stores in NY? I’m sure there are several.
You could probably find one that has the fabrics and colors that you like that will custom make something for you.
These are from this site.
Post # 15
I totally hear you. Here’s my story if it helps…
I live by an Indian/Pakistani/Fiji shopping district with lots of amazing formal saris and salwar kameez in the windows. I coveted them for years, but when it came down to it, I thought I’d look like I was wearing a costume in one of them.
Then I looked for awesome evening gowns, but came up short there too. None of them were special enough to be bridal. It’s seemed impossible to find anything like the stunners that sometimes pop up on the red carpets off the rack (even off the top dollar rack).
Then I actually went back to looking at traditional bridal dresses. One shop owner said to me “I sell the same A-line strapless dress all day long every day”. So that’s basically what they seemed to carry. Time was running out, so I ordered a dress w/o trying it on. I regretted it pretty quickly.
Then, I discovered the preowned sites. I hadn’t really looked at high end designer gowns since I didn’t expect much difference and wasn’t interested in paying $10K or whatever I imagined they’d cost. Although there’s a ton of “not me” there, I found some breathtaking “me” styles too. Of course, everything is white, but I found that the styles there were so much nicer than what I could find in evening gowns and there was so much more variety than I’d ever seen in a store. I ended up getting a gown that really felt like my wedding gown, but looked more like an evening gown than a princess dress to me. It didn’t have any Indian embellishments and wasn’t a wrap like a sari, but in some ways it did have that shape (the assymmetry with a looseness up top while still having a figure conscious fit) that I love.
Best of luck finding your perfect wedding outfit. I bet if you go someplace with a lot of high end sari shops they might help you do a special order too.
Post # 16
I can totally relate! I didn’t really like the majority of wedding dresses. When I started out, it was really freaking me out. Exactly like you, I remember flipping through magazines and online photos and seeing a sea of whitestraplessrouched. What really helped me was a dress appt at J Crew. I didn’t even end up buying a dress there, but it showed me that there were plenty of pretty, simple, non-poufy, non-princessy dresses out there for a gal like me. I’m not sure that store will have what you’re looking for, but my advice is to find a store that somewhat fits your aesthetic and get some clothes on your body. You’ll start to see that there’s stuff out there that you can totally work.