(Closed) Wedding Greed

posted 6 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
Member
5075 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

I think the majority of the posts are etiquette related (how do we word the thank you card, etc) rather than greed related

Post # 5
Member
1798 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Many people use gifts to express care/affection. So not giving a gift or card is interpreted as not caring, which is a big part of why people get upset about gifts.

 

Post # 6
Member
5075 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

I see what you’re saying.  It’s always sad to see the materialistic side of folks.

Post # 7
Member
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

People probably post those kinds of things here to get opinions/etc or just have a space to vent where the people involved won’t judge.

It seems pretty unreasonable to assume people are greedy just because they’re talking about gifts. It’s been pointed out before… gifts are generally considered part of weddings. Most people don’t hold weddings to cash in on gifts.

Post # 7
Member
5296 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

@msfahrenheit:  ^^ that.

Plus, it’s quite common for guest to bring gifts to a wedding. I know I always bring one. So I guess I would expect to see posts discussing that aspect of a wedding.

 

I think you are referring to the thread with the bride posting an explanation on her wedding website registry page, that many people did not agree with. Not sure if that could be considered ‘greed’ though. She was just trying to state what they would prefer, given the fact that many people do bring gifts.

Now the acceptability of that may be in question, but I don’t think it or many of the other gift-related posts are greed-related.

Post # 8
Member
2712 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@GroovyHippieChick:  That or what to get for the bridal party, shower hostesses, etc.

 

However, I am shocked at how many people think it isn’t rude to ask for money (in the US at least- I can’t speak for etiquette in other countries).

Post # 9
Member
487 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@Melissaah:  Definitely not going to disagree with you on this one.

Post # 11
Member
1252 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Hmmm, I kind of agree.  Noticing a few posts lately about guests not giving gifts, be it for the wedding or the shower, whether they were in attendance or not, etc.  Most of them include words like “rude” and “bad etiquette”. But I feel like if we are going to be the etiquette police, lets ask Emily Post what she has to say about complaining about gifts on a public discussion board.

Post # 12
Member
5296 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

@Melissaah:  so does worrying about hairstyles, bridesmaids dresses, flowers, favors, and all the other details that are part of a wedding day and make up a majority of the posts on here. But that’s why this site is here. So brides can ask questions about their wedding.

Post # 13
Member
1340 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I don’t see the post that was alluded to above as being about greed as much as that particular bride getting what she wanted, the same way that any bride who registers for gifts is specifying specifically what she wanted. The bride who wrote that post was talked down from the proverbial ledge and honestly, I think many of us have been there especially in the current economic climate. I initlally registered for $1,000 worth of homegoods and thought about the one billion helpful ways that I would rather use that money instead of in china I’ll use once a year and a stand mixer that will sit on my cabinets so it looks “cute”.

 

Post # 14
Member
364 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

As a previous poster said, gifts are associated with caring, a lack of gift is interpreted as someone not caring, and it is difficult to put these feelings into words without making it seem materialistic or gift-hungry.

And I think it’s better to try and talk it out in an anonymous forum, rather than venting to real-life friends or family who may be offended.

Post # 15
Member
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@hisgoosiegirl:  100% agree.  

Some people post about gifts simply from a logistics point of view.  One bee is getting married on a cruise ship – talk about logistics when dealing with gifts!!  Destination weddings is another logistical problem.  It’s not that they’re greedy for the gifts, they’re more concerned about how to get them home or if they should ask for certain types of gifts that are easier to transport.  

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