(Closed) Wedding Guest Attire? Who am I to decide???

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3316 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I don’t have a lot of answers, but I do have sympathy.  When people asked me what they should wear, I just said, “church clothes.”  (We’re getting married in a synagogue, but I figured most people were aware of church clothes, even if they weren’t Christian.)  But I’ve had people who want me to choose the specific outfit they are going to wear.  Umm…  I probably won’t even notice what they are wearing at the time, because I will have other stuff to think about.

Post # 4
Member
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Tell ’em “look cute, but wear something you won’t mind if it gets a little sandy.”

If they’re still confused, instruct them to come dressed as pirates. Then walk away and have a good, stress relieving laugh.

Post # 6
Member
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I think you said it perfectly with “I just didn’t want our guests wearing jeans or any random casual outfit since we are paying to have a photographer there to take some nice pics!”  I think that translates well into “Don’t wear jeans and work boots.” And it was very considerate of you to mention flip flops to the inquiring guests–sure, flip flops don’t necessarily go with more dressy attire, but you give people the option of not having to walk barefoot.  It’s not like they can’t change back into dress shoes post-beach time.

I’m not sure why they would think they would have to buy new clothes unless they didn’t own anything other than jeans and tshirts!  They are probably just overthinking it.  Perhaps your mom can give them a little insight so you have one less thing to worry about?

Post # 7
Member
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I would tell them, church attire. You wouldn’t wear a cocktail dress to church or brunch so that way they know not typical wedding attire. But you’re right on target telling them no jeans and t-shirts/ Most people should have these clothes in their closets.

Can you set up a flipflop basket? That way guests don’t have to bring flipflops for the beach and shoes for inside.

Post # 8
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

i think what you said is fine. we’re telling people dressy casual, whatever that means. if they ask, we’re telling them khakis for boys and sundresses for girls.

Post # 9
Member
521 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I agree.  You can tell them what you had in mind on your guests since they asked.

Post # 10
Member
1901 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I am a little concerned about this as well. Thanks for posting!

You telling them about the flip-flops is not wrong. It’s only for a short time and then they can put their regular shoes back on. And yes, if they don’t own a nice pair of pants or a dress, then they might have to buy something! I think the term you are looking for is “resort casual” which is used a lot here in AZ to mean no shorts, jeans, bathing suits;) or t-shirts or sneakers but not cocktail attire.

Is it appropriate to put something actually on the invite? Like, “Cocktail Attire”? My Dad’s actually annoyed that he will have to find a suit to wear. He doesn’t ever wear them and I don’t want tuxedos. I have seen other weddings where some of the guests show up in jeans (ugh!) or t-shirts (double-ugh!). Thinking about my guestlist, I am only worried about a couple people, but just wondered if I can put it on the invite or on the website.

 

Post # 11
Member
1044 posts
Bumble bee

Tell them to wear something that’s business casual or something they would wear to church.  That means no jeans (something that you could wear to work and not be criticized by HR).

Post # 12
Member
1676 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’m all for terms like “black tie optional” or “dressy casual”.  Dressy casual sounds like it probably suits your wedding.  Then let people make up their own minds about what that term means to them.  If you haven’t sent out your invitations yet, then you can just print “attire: dressy casual”, or “resort casual” on the invites. 

Post # 13
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Don’t forget, they want to look good in your wedding photos too! That’s probably why they’re asking, although their responses to your answers would make me frustrated too.

Maybe write a little blurb on your wedding website (if you have one) under FAQs? That way you can direct them to that and they can take a look? Then you could have photos there if you really want to.

Post # 15
Member
531 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

As far as them complaining if they have to go purchase something to wear- thats not really your problem, a simple sundress, nice slacks and a nice shirt are staple wardrobe attire or so I thought, if they don’t own those thats not your problem. 🙂

I’d tell them a dress (but, not white of course- haha!)/pretty skirt and top for the females but nothing too glitzy/formal and the men could wear nice pants/khakis or possibly khaki shorts and a button down shirt.

 

JUST TELL THEM “NOT THIS!”. Ha, ha!

 

[attachment=387066,50481]

Post # 16
Member
531 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Maybe this picture could help them out?

 

 

[attachment=387080,50482]

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