(Closed) Wedding Guest Boycott

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 17
Member
4192 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

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@anemonie:  now the relatives who act like children won’t be there

This is so sad- I remember one of your prior posts on this, because we have some venue similarities- on the water, not child-friendly.

Those family members who are now deciding not to come to the wedding are causing more damage to their relationship with FI/FMIL, then they would with the family member with kids, if they attended. I can see the uncle (or whoever) not coming, but to try to turn other family members against you… that’s just awful. I have no advice- don’t think there’s anything you can do, but I’m sorry to hear this.

Post # 18
Member
2598 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I think that “boycotting” a wedding because of the “no kids” thing is pretty stupid and petty.

At the end of the day, it’s your right not to invite children, as it is your guests’ right to decline the invitation based on the fact that their kids are not invited. But I wouldn’t put it in terms of “well these people don’t care about you!”–most people who have children make the decision not to go because they don’t feel comfortable leaving their children (this is especially true if they have to travel and aren’t familiar with the childcare services or babysitters), or because of the expense (especially if they would be coming home really late), or because their kids are too young.

And like I said, if they are declining in protest, then it’s their loss.

Post # 19
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I do think since we aren’t really having kids I expect some people to turn down the invites. I think if it is  parents it’s fine and I rather them turn down the invite rather then show up with their kids in tow. However if it’s other family members doing this in “protest” it’s frankly none of their business and rude and petty on their part.

Post # 20
Member
1736 posts
Bumble bee

While it’s horribly rude that any guest would take to such an extreme over a simple request to not have kids at a wedding, you should probably take into account that there is likely one or two people driving this and the rest are likely their immediate family members who have been forced to take a side. I’m sure that the folks that were excited about coming to your wedding were put into a horrible position by the family member who is driving this so-called “boycott” and they had to make a very hard choice. I’m sad for both you and your Fiance because this is just ridiculous. Everyone can talk about kids at the wedding versus not until they are blue in the face, but what matters is, it’s how you and Fiance envisioned your wedding day. You shouldn’t feel bad for wanting your wedding a certain way. I did the same – my wedding venue is not kid friendly and so I am asking that children not be there (we have no flower girl or ring bearer either). If that means some people won’t attend, well, that’s their choice. But taking it to this extreme is just idiotic. Good luck, OP!

Post # 21
Member
2649 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Ok, wait. It’s people without kids, that are boycotting the no kid thing??? 

Yikes.  

Well, now you have more room to invite friends. Lo

Post # 22
Member
328 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

That is awful! It’s one thing to boycott a store or something, but your wedding?! Sheesh. Sorry that his family is acting so immaturely. Guests should understand that a line has to be drawn somewhere or things get out of control.

 

To look on the bright side, at least they let you know they aren’t coming and didn’t just show up with kids in tow. I’m so nervous this is going to happen to us. We are having inner envelopes on our invites spelling out the name of each person invited, and on the RSVP card saying __ of ___ attending. Still some people just don’t get the point and feel entitled to bring their children everywhere. I love kids too, but there’s a time and place for it.

Post # 23
Member
10283 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Some people are so damn selfish. Your wedding day is not about them or their children, it’s about you and your soon to be husband. You’d think these “loved ones” would want to be there to witness their family member get married but unfortunately they’re being ridiculous. Their loss, really. Have an EXTRA great time at your wedding and let them know how magical your day was. Then take that money that you’re saving by not having to feed them and put it towards your Honeymoon or something equally as awesome. 

Post # 24
Member
82 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I totally understand, while we are having kids at our wedding, but only direct cousins as my Fiance has a young cousin and her brothers and sister will be going as they are older, and would not want to leave her out, and want his aunt there, and nieces and Nephews who are in the wedding, we are asking our cousins not to bring their children, cause once one does then the rest will follow, and it just gets to be too much.

I love kids, but no one knows, unless they have been there how expensive it is. My FI  cousins is not coming as the 3 of them have kids and no one to mind them. Well they all live in Belfast and the wedding is in Belfast, so why not. We are not letting it bother us.

The only exception we are making is people traveling great distances, and my family from Canada.

Good luck, but I look at it the important people will be there to celebrate your day

Post # 25
Member
3120 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Eff them!  If they are going to make YOUR wedding day about THEM, then you don’t need them there!!!

Post # 26
Member
78 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Is it really a boycott? Did they actually use that word? Or is it more like people with kids have decided not to come?

I think it is important to understand, that it is your choice to have a no kids wedding, but also the choice of your guests not to attend if they don’t like it.

Post # 27
Member
2353 posts
Buzzing bee

Wow. How immature. 

Without them there, your wedding truly will be Child Free.

Post # 28
Member
292 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I always think the best strategy with these people is to kill them with kindness. You politely invited them to your wedding (and not their children), and however childish their reasoning, they also politely declined. If some of your closer family members that you would like to attend are involved in this boycott, I really would just send them a friendly note letting them know they will be missed. And it also gets the point across that with or without them, the wedding is happening anyway. And definitely without children.

Good luck! and sorry some of your guests are being such downers.

Post # 30
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

OP: stay strong!  I’m a teacher (elementary) too and I love children, but I didn’t want any at our wedding, either!  I was shocked at how upset some people were, but I’m from the Midwest and many people are very into family events.  

Post # 31
Member
255 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

This is emotional blackmail.  I wouldn’t lose any sleep over someone who would try to manipulate you like that.

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