wedding guest dress

posted 1 year ago in Guests
Post # 46
Member
2430 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Is your bf wearing a tux? You need to match that level of formality, if so. This dress just doesn’t do it. I don’t think it’s too low or any of that nonsense, but its not structured enough. 

Post # 47
Member
2729 posts
Sugar bee

If it were YOUR family I would say just wear it, but since it’s your boyfriend’s family I’d err on the side of caution.

If you want to get on the good side of an older, conservative, formal crowd – a low cut dress with a slit at a black tie affair is not the way to do it. Some guests will probably be looking for something to gossip about. Normally I wouldn’t give a shit about that, but boyfriend’s families and work are the exceptions. 

Look for something less low cut that won’t show your bra at all (even the straps, even a nude bra). You can get away with lower cut when the dress is structured and form fitting, but the loose/wrap style looks very casual and more risque.

Post # 48
Member
22 posts
Newbee

Your dress is something I would wear to a nice dinner in summer, but it is certainly not appropriate for a wedding, especially with people you have never met. The slit is muchtoo high, the neckline much, much too low, and the material is very revealing (as in every curve shows). A more structured dress without a slit, and an appropriate neckline should be worn to a formal wedding, not this. Also, bra straps showing, even nude, is not a good look at any time, but especially not for a formal event. That is my two cents, but you seem very set on wearing the dress!

Post # 51
Member
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1995

Your dress does not say black tie to me either.  The fabric is way too clingy.  The style with the low neckline and high slit don’t say black tie to me either.  If I were meeting my boyfriend’s extended family for the first time that would not be a dress I would choose to wear.  

Post # 52
Hostess
2251 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Lol why did you even ask for advice if you’re so determined to just wear the dress regardless of what everyone is telling you about it not being appropriate? 

Post # 53
Member
679 posts
Busy bee

So condescending to say other people’s opinions don’t matter because they have never been to a black tie event. Glad that commenter is keeping detailed notes on what kind of events everyone has been to.

I hosted a true black tie wedding (so I guess my opinion counts for more here? eyeroll), and I would personally say this dress is inappropriate. It could be dressed up, but for me would be too revealing to wear to a family wedding or SO’s family wedding. If I saw one of my friends wearing it I wouldn’t have thought twice, but if my cousin’s girlfriend was wearing that and sitting at one of our more prominent family tables, I know a few family members would have had some thoughts.

Post # 54
Member
22 posts
Newbee

Why are you posting asking for style advise is you literally don’t care what any of us say? If someone I knew wore that to my wedding, I would not be pleased. It is not flattering nor is it appropriate.

Post # 55
Member
2806 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

lazoozoo :  I think that the dress you posted, the longer one would be good and I don’t think it would be too dressed up compared to your boyfriends suit but I think it would be much more appropriate.

Is it black tie optional or strict black tie? I will admit, I have never been to a black tie event and certainly don’t claim to be an expert but I’m pretty sure if it’s a strict black tie event that your boyfriend should not be wearing a blue suit? 

Post # 56
Member
10 posts
Newbee

Your dress isn’t formal enough for a black tie event even with statement jewelry. I would definitely go in a different direction ie more structured fabric, nothing that will show bra straps, etc. And a different color could be nice too. There’s no need to match your boyfriend exactly like students at a prom. 

Post # 57
Member
6702 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

It sounds like you are determined to wear this dress, whether it is inappropriate or not, so good luck. As someone said, I might risk this around my own family if they knew I was unable to afford anything else, but I’d never wear it to anything even formal-ish with a boyfriend’s family where I wanted to make a good impression (and yes, I have been to black tie and other formal events, not that knowing what is appropriate or not is dependent on that).

Post # 58
Member
4550 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Look OP, everyone is telling you that the neckline+thigh slit+fabric combines to make the dress too informal for the event. It’s the combination of all three elements that does this. If it was just fabric and no boobs and thighs you may be able to get away with it but please don’t wear this dress if you are meeting his family for the first time. The older crowd may judge you negatively as a result of what is really a very slinky and revealing dress. 

You posted looking for affirmation and not really for truth. Be it at your own peril to not heed advice given from impartial people who have no horse in this race….

 

Post # 59
Member
7199 posts
Busy Beekeeper

bear123 :  So condescending to say other people’s opinions don’t matter because they have never been to a black tie event.

Yes, it’s soo condescending to not want input from someone who has no idea what theyre talking about. I wouldn’t be clamouring for advice to visit Peru from someone who’s never been there, nor cooking advice on a souffle from someone who’s never cooked one. That’s hardly condescending bee. 

Post # 60
Member
129 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

If approximately 90% of responses were that they deemed the dress inappropriate for whatever reason, even with accessories, then you can probably assume that the other wedding guests attending will have similar thoughts. We are internet strangers, they’re real life strangers. They aren’t your friends who will have a biased point of view and let you slide because “XYZ”, they’re going to judge you as they would judge a stranger on the subway. I don’t agree with being overly judgmental and mean, but there’s a level of judgement you’ll receive no matter what you wear. I am very friendly and compared to most I am insanely non judgmental by nature. I have a kind heart and compassion for others. I do think however that the dress is highly inappropriate for any wedding because of the stretchy material. I find that the only time you should wear a stretchy dress that shows every inch and crevice is when it’s a nightie and you’re about to get it removed. But that’s just me. So I wouldn’t think you’re a horrible person right off the bat because of this… But it portrays an image that you may not want to give off to your boyfriends family, especially the first time you meet them. I promise I’m not trying to be mean! I’m just trying to help you out before you go in this dress and make an impression you may not realize you’re making. Your body looks amazing. I have way more rolls and crevices for that dress to cling to, girl. I’m not hatin’ 😂 Just for this event I think you should really take all of these internet stranger’s advice and get a more sophisticated and structured dress.

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