(Closed) Wedding Guest Dressed Code: She wants to wear a hoochie dress

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
138 posts
Blushing bee

you can put on your web site that its a semi formal wedding.  we had people specifically ask us what type of dress code, even though it was listed on the web site, but some of them who asked still dressed completely different from what I would consider formal or semi formal.  people will still wear what they want to wear, regardless of what you request  :/

Post # 4
3292 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Agreed that you should just put on your website or spread the word that attire is semi-formal.

That said, you can’t really control what she wears. She may think her dress IS semi-formal. Don’t let it embarrass you. It’s her choice.

Post # 5
3073 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2000

@Uptowngirl2857:  Sweetie, you can’t control what people wear to a wedding even if it is YOUR wedding.

These things are not, in the grand scheme of things, important.


Post # 6
3949 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I’d probably make something up.  Find a dress online, that you think is appropriate, and show her and get all excited, “My Cousin is wearing this dress to our wedding…. isn’t it beautiful?”   Or something like that?  Maybe a week later show her another pic of a “dress a friend of mine is wearing to the wedding” . 

ETA: maybe if you show her some of the guests dress’ she’ll buy a clue as to what is appropriate.

Post # 7
776 posts
Busy bee

Just remember that if she does wear the dress that it’s a reflection of HER, not you! I would mention that it’s semi formal and then let her make her own decision from there.

Post # 10
1890 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

Unfortunately, you can’t control what your guests wear (or even how they behave) at your wedding.

Just try to make sure it doesn’t sneak its way into your wedding photos.

My husband’s classy ‘cousin’ was drinking a can of Bud Light DURING our ceremony. Fortunately, during the ceremony I was completely unaware of everyone but my dad (who was walking me down the aisle), our minister, and my groom.

You’ll be having such a good time that a) you likely won’t notice and b) you probably won’t even care by that point.

Post # 11
1606 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I guess you can put the dress code on your wedding website, maybe she’ll get the hint.  But, also remember that you cannot control how a guest dresses, and her showing up dressed like a floozy in only going to embarass her, not you.  It’s going to be a poor reflection on her taste, not yours.

Post # 13
1781 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@HisIrishPrincess:  Totally agree!  And just remember, there’s always a skanky looking one at every wedding and funeral.  It’s not a reflection on you.  Some people just have no class.  Or taste.

Post # 14
800 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

There’s always someone who doesn’t quite seem to understand that club attire and formal attire are not the same. But I feel your pain. On our wedding website we did a “What to Wear/What Not to Wear” section with photos to try and nudge people in the right direction.

Post # 15
7039 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

You don’t get to control what your guests wear. People will judge her, not you. You have more important things to worry about!

Post # 16
7439 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

The other Bees are right, you can’t control other people… and what they choose to wear to your Wedding… if they look foolish, they only have themselves to blame (and I think most Guests know that… so no one is going to think less of you as the Bride because of her faux pas)

That said.  Dressing appropriately (Dress Codes) is something I think a lot of people don’t have a clue about any more (in that we live in such a relaxed society… where anything goes in our day-to-day lives from the time we are kiddies at school to adults at work).  So when it comes to dressing up for an occasion most people don’t know what is truly appropriate… EXPECTED OF THEM.

Which is probably WHY many Brides have in recent years added some guidance in this issue to their Websites.

It can’t hurt to have a section on what is what…

So a Definition on Semi-Formal… and maybe some related photos to show what is considered within those parameters.

Hope this helps,

PS… Here is a website that offers up some good definitions… and a few pics.  Particularly love this paragraph …

” As with men’s clothing, women’s outfits for a semiformal event should be relatively conservative, and avoid showing too much leg or cleavage. Hem lengths vary, but dresses or skirts should end no more than 1 inch (2.54 cm) above the knee. Longer skirts paired with a dressy top can be appropriate, but a floor-length gown might be too formal for most events. Tops should not be cut too low or be too revealing. Strapless tops or dresses can be acceptable choices for some semiformal events provided that they aren’t too skimpy, but should be avoided at business functions. “



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