(Closed) wedding guest gripe

posted 10 years ago in Beehive
Post # 3
Member
1246 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

man – i don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all. i think a +1 is usually for a romantic partner, right? not for somebody looking to emulate "wedding crashers." but my mind can be changed if others feel differently.

eta: i asked Fiance about this and, after he was done laughing, he said he would *maybe* consider it if this was one of the groomsman, but even then wouldn’t think it was appropriate. he does want to know if this guy is having to travel, or if he’ll know very many other people at the wedding.

Post # 4
Member
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

You are not being unreasonable at all.  I have said multiple times… if your friends are so insecure that they can’t spend 4 – 5 hours without someone to hold their hand, what is up??  I’m not sure how any friend of either the bride or groom can know absolutely nobody else at the wedding, but if that’s really the case, demonstrate some social skills and meet a few new folks!  Really, if you’re old enough to drive yourself to the wedding you ought to be old enough to get through it without some kind of social security blanket.

If your guest would rather hang with his buddy than go to your wedding alone, he probably didn’t deserve an invitation in the first place.  If he can’t sit where you put him and make reasonable converation with whoever is at the table for as long as it takes to eat dinner, when he has the whole rest of the evening to try to pick up chicks…  good grief.  Tell him he has to leave his wingman behind.

Post # 5
Member
152 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

LOL – oh man, he must have recently watched wedding crashers to make such a ridiculous request as that!! 

Seriously though, I’d definitely say no to the "wingman" guest.  Unless of course, he’s willing to pay for the extra plate at the reception? I’m guessing no. Do you have rules with regards to guests for everyone else?   If so, just use that when explaining to him.

Or you could tell him his plan will totally backfire as all the ladies at the table will assume they’re gay!  Kind of hard to pick up if all the ladies think he’s playing for the other team 😉  

Post # 6
Member
67 posts
Worker bee

LOL – yeah the gay radar might be up if this happens.  But in seriousness that is rather insulting to your wedding to have your friend ask this request – i guess some men think with their other head.  =)  I would say that you are really booked and had to ven take out some family members to make enough room so inviting this stranger would be bad considering you can’t invite cousins that you already know.  i don’t mind using family to lie if it saves you face and in the light of a poor etiquette situation.

Post # 8
Member
75 posts
Worker bee

Have you sent out invites yet? Was this guys invited with a +1? If so, I think you have to allow his guest, regardless of whether it is a romantic partner or not.

Post # 10
Member
1246 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

ok – if he invited this guest without you indicating he can bring somebody, and it’s just some friend, then i’m with you: put your foot down. that’s not that far of a trip.

Post # 11
Member
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

i’m in the out-count and would allow it… what’s one more person in the long scheme of things?? but that’s just me…

 

 

Post # 12
Member
78 posts
Worker bee

If you do end up allowing him to bring a guest, but you are concerned that he and his friend will be a little too focused on picking up women, seat them at a table with mostly couples 😉

Post # 13
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2008

Did your invitation say "and guest"? If not, he’s short! This why we are using an INNER ENVELOPE because we know that someone will try to bring someone else who isn’t invited OR bring their herd of friends….this is a wedding reception, not happy hour at the local bar!

Our wedding website states the following:

Your RSVP will serve as your admission to the reception. Timely RSVPs are expected and seating will be assigned accordingly.

Not to sound RUDE or CRASS, but Ed and Tammy are SERIOUS about RSVPing! The pitbulls will be at the door, asking those who didn’t RSVP to step aside, while those who DID RSVP, are allowed to come in. Once those who RSVPd are seated, if there is any remaining seating, those that didn’t, can be seated (that’s IF there is any seating left).

Don’t tell the hostesses to tell Tammy and Ed that "so and so" are at the door and they forgot to RSVP. Sorry….. 

Post # 14
Member
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Maybe he doesn’t understand how much it actually costs to add one person to a wedding.  He probably doesn’t understand that you are paying PER PLATE and adding his friend will cost you more money.  Since he is a single guy, he’s probably never been involved in planning a wedding.  He probably thinks it’s a simple request because it’s "only one person" but doesn’t realize that that involves you forking over more money and possibly rearranging seating.  Maybe if you make it clear to him how much more work and money it will involve, he’ll think twice about what he is asking of you.

Post # 15
Member
92 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

A few of our single friends asked if they should bring a guest and I explained that if one person brings a guest that we would have to invite guests for everybody, which means we would have to get a few extra tables just to accomodate people we have never met before.  I think that it is up to you because it is your wedding.  If he wants to hang out with his guy friend and pick up girls, he can meet up with him at a bar after the wedding.  Maybe you can just make a joke out of it and say that the only people who are invited to bring guests are those that are in a serious relationship, so unless he is engaged to his guy friend, he has to come alone. 

Post # 16
Member
104 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

First– think about it this way. If you were going out this weekend. Would you pick up this guys $100 dinner and drinks tab for the night? Probably not– then why on YOUR SPECIAL day would you want to?? and second– its probably just easiest to explain to a guy that weddings have assigned seating and there wouldn’t be a place for him at dinner.

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