- 3 months ago
My brother, who is engaged, has explosive intermittent disorder. Even as adults he has attacked and threatened my physically. He’s also manipulative and charming. My family says I provoke him. After much therapy, I teeter between I must be in complete denial that I’m a horrible human being and I am not responsible for others actions. Truly, I know and can point to experiences where he has acted out without me there, but no one is willing to listen.
My brother is getting married. I don’t want to go. My other family members blaming me (I heavily influence him) is stressful. I’ve thought about getting a car, a hotel, and just setting physical boundaries from them but it is EXPENSIVE. And honestly not what I want to do with my time and money.
Anyone been in this position and still went to the wedding (because that’s what my parents want-slash-I don’t want to be blamed for ruining everything)? I love my family and I have put a lot of effort into reestablishing boundaries and dynamics. It’s worked to some degree with older family members. But I can no longer idly stand by while they treat me like a problem before I am one/justify violence towards me.
ps sorry if I put this in the wrong spot.