WEDDING GUESTS AND INVITATIONS

posted 1 year ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
3106 posts
Sugar bee

View original reply
@whiteswan:  Why wouldn’t you have a reception?

Post # 3
Member
7804 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

You want people to Travel to your wedding and stand OUTSIDE the church for the ceremony? And no reception? WHAT? 

No, bee, just no. Invite your 50 allowed guests. It is coming off really gift grabby that you just want to invite people for the sake of inviting them, and they wont even be able to travel to or see the wedding. Please listen to your fi. He is being sane and rational here. 

Post # 4
Member
1238 posts
Bumble bee

You want people to stand OUTSIDE the church while you’re inside getting married? WHAT

Post # 6
Member
559 posts
Busy bee

can you wait until closer to october to send your invites and make the decision then?  i agree that i would not invite more than are allowed to gather in your country at the point you send out invites.  

Post # 9
Member
7961 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

It’s more rude to invite more people than you can accommodate inside the church if that’s where they would like to be than it is to not invite them at all. You can order the desired number of invitations and then only send out as many as you are certain you can handle when it’s closer even if it means you have a lot of extra invitations left over.

Would people really be honored to travel to your wedding only to have to stand outside and not be invited to the reception? It seems so awkward.

Post # 12
Member
7804 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I dont even see the point of inviting someone to an event and forcing them to stay outside. Like, welcome to my house warming! You cant see it, but you can loiter on the property! 

Anyways. You say: 

The sad thing is that even if we decide on the number of guests, we don’t know if we’re going to have a reception so we’ll have to invite them to the reception through the invitation and hope it will take place. I don’t even want to imagine myself having to call them later to tell them that there will be no reception. It would be upsetting and embarrassing for them too I’m afraid.

You have this wrong – it will be embarassing for YOU to have to call guests and un-invite them because you aren’t allowed more than 50 people. It will be embarassing for YOU to have invited extended family to travel during a pandemic. If you just invite 50 people, and your local restrictions allow for 50 people, you can easily host the reception at a restaurant in the event that your reception is cancelled. You need to think pragmatically and put your emotions aside. 

eta – I think right NOW your best course of action is to buy enough invites for everyone you would ideally like to invite, but get an actual VIP list of 50 people that if it comes to it will be your final guest list. 

Post # 13
Member
7961 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

View original reply
@whiteswan:  I’m really curious–would you reserve seats for your VIPs and guests who could not comfortably stand outside the church? 

Post # 14
Member
1238 posts
Bumble bee

I’m sorry, regardless of context- Inviting people with the intention of having them stand outside and not actually witness a wedding is insanely rude. Period. 

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