Post # 1
We are way over on our budget and the number of people that I wanted at our “small” wedding. As we are getting closer, friends have been calling/emailing and asking if they can bring a guest with them. I originally decided that unless someone is married, engaged, or living with their SO (and we know them personally for the latter) then they are not to bring a guest.
How do I handle those who are specifically asking to bring their girlfriends, etc? One even offered to pay for her plate!
Is this a bad rule to have??
Post # 3
I can’t say no, so I am not a good person to ask; however, if you make a rule, as long as you use it across the board, you should be fine.
Post # 4
It’s hard to use the budget excuse when they offer to pay for themselves! It’s still rude though IMO.
Could you just tell them that you want a gathering of people who are important to you and that you have only included significant others of people who live together, are engaged, or are married?
I am not sure I agree on sticking hard and fast to the rule though. For example, I know many people who don’t live together before marriage due to religious beliefs. I would then look at how long they have been together versus whether they live together or not.
Post # 5
you say that the venue has strict space limitations.
Post # 6
I like the suggestion about strict space limitations.
Post # 7
I would first start off with your budget – if they then offer to pay for their date, just let them know your venue has space limitations, and you would hope that they would respect your wishes and not bring their guest.
Post # 8
I know this will happen to us too! I’ve already prepared a “blanket statement”. “We would LOVE to include everyone…..but we are on a very tight budget, and really want this to be a personal day with people who have supported our relationship. Number of guests is a big issue for us, but I PROMISE if people RSVP no, and the numbers drop, I will call you and let you know! I hope you understand 🙂 “
Post # 9
Thanks Bees! This makes me feel better in holding my ground. I feel like there are other people that I know that I would rather have there than his date that I have never met. I like the strict space limitations idea ladies!
Post # 10
A friend of the fiance who asked me via email if he was getting a plus one. As far as we know he is not dating anybody. Consequently, I responded with the following. He did not write back, so I assume what I wrote was adequate.
“To keep the wedding economical and intimate — for we have invited only our closest friend and dearest family members, we kept our guest lists to adults of eighteen years and older and refrained from the “and guest” option. When we were aware that any of our friends was dating somebody seriously, we included the name of the partner on the invitation as well.”
Post # 11
Absolutely hold your ground. Really at the end of the day, do you want strangers at your wedding?
Post # 12
@stacycats: I just stole that and am e-mailing it to myself for a reminder. Great wording.
Post # 13
I have had a couple of people ask me already. I sent RSVP’s to singles with ONE line for ONE name and they have still asked. Bascially what I told them was that we have limited space, but if you want to hold on to your RSVP a little longer if a space opens up I’d be happy to allow you to bring a guest. It’s not going to bother me on way or the other on our day. I know I won’t be sitting around going who is that person and why are they here plus my guest will have much for fun with someone to dance and hang with for the night. All of my most important people will def be there so that is what’s important. We only have a handful of singles anyway…
Post # 14
Definitely talk about the venue’s space limits and say that the guest list is currently at capacity. And then tell them about the other people that will be there that they know, so they won’t be alone!
Post # 15
@lilacwire: Two weeks ago I collected all of my ‘explanations’ and made a cheat sheet for an acquaintance of mine (and NO we are not expecting to attend each other’s weddings for we are not good friends.)
Post # 16
I’m so glad to see that other girls are experiencing this same problem! I have gotten SO irritated by some of our invitee’s that have assumed they are allowed to bring a guest even though the invitation was only addressed to them and said nothing about “+ one”. Ughhh it’s soo rude and annoying! I’ve told them the same thing, we’re way over budget (which we are) and there is limited space. I wish people could understand how expensive weddings can be 🙁 Ok I’m done venting lol.