(Closed) Wedding guests – came empty handed

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
7119 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Only $100? Sounds like a decent amount to me… Has she spent money already on your wedding? I usually give about $50 ($100 if FI comes) because that’s all I can afford at the moment… I really don’t think you should judge people based on how much they gave you.

 

 

 

Post # 4
Member
2923 posts
Sugar bee

Sometimes these things happen. DH’s two cousins and one of their fiances combined a $40 gift for us between the three of them. I know it’s not about the gifts but you can’t help but think that way. At least we use the gift often. 

Post # 5
Member
6746 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

I think even if you’re in the bridal party and paying to be in the wedding, that doesn’t give you an excuse not to give a gift.  Personally, I gave a $75 gift to the bride for her lingerie shower, another $150 at the bridal shower, I’ve bought her a bunch of stuff for her wedding she wanted but couldn’t afford and it’s going to total about $500.  I paid $200 for my dress, need it altered still, on top of that.  I would never show up, especially as MOH – obviously I’m close to her to be in her bridal party and the MOH no less, right?  How would I appear without a generous gift to my bff?  I’m with you OP, it sounds cheap unless she has a good excuse.  It would be one thing if she said, “I’m so sorry, I want to give you more, I just can’t afford it.”

Question – why did she call you cheap??

Post # 7
Member
7119 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

@futuremrsk18:  The MOH did give a gift though. She gave OP $100.

Post # 8
Member
7119 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

@jenjen96:  Not everyone can afford that though. I am finally at a point where I can afford to give more but when I was in school I absolutely could not afford to give that amount. Even if she isn’t in school, maybe something else is going on and she truly couldn’t afford more. I guess I’m just looking at gifts as a benefit and do not expect gifts from my guests at all. I do agree, however, that the guests that showed up empty handed could have at least brought a card.

Post # 10
Member
609 posts
Busy bee

@jenjen96:  I really start feeling less sympathy for these posts when they become personal attacks. I don’t see the need to bring up their personal finanacial and living situation like it makes them less of a person.

They gave you gifts…what is the problem?  

 

 

 

Post # 11
Member
571 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@jenjen96:  You shouldn’t expect everyone to pay you back for their meal/ alcohol with their gift. It wasn’t right of your MOH to call you cheap but you should be thankful for the gifts you received. I think $100 for a wedding is a very nice gift. Your MOH shouldn’t be responsible for gifting extra for her family members.

Post # 13
Member
571 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@jenjen96:  I still don’t see what the issue is with $100? There isn’t anything wrong with that for 1 person

Post # 14
Member
7119 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

@jenjen96:  I do agree that she should not have called you cheap. I would be pretty upset if I paid for all of that stuff that you have mentioned so now I do see where you are coming from. I wouldn’t really be upset about the gift but more so that I had to contribute to my shower and bachelorette party. I see your point now Smile

Post # 15
Member
554 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I dont think that you should expect an expensive gift from everyone. Isnt a wedding supposed to be about celebrating new beginnings and a lifetime with the person you love the most. It`s not supposed to be a moneymaking enterprise.

I agree, not everyone can afford to spend 100s of dollars. I went to 6 weddings last summer, I can tell you that if I had to give each couple $200-30 (or whatever amount), I would have been broke that summer, considering I had to buy multiple dresses for those weddings too. Ugh. Maybe MOH and her family don`t have a tradition of giving large gifts anyway.

Post # 16
Member
726 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I got married a little over a month ago, and I just recieved a card in the mail with a cheque inside yesrerday. Give it some time, I’m sure that nearly everybody will send something eventually!

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