(Closed) Wedding guests have to stand at reception

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should guest have to stand for four hours at the wedding reception

    yes

    no

  • Post # 17
    Member
    457 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    cut the list, you need seats for everyone

    Post # 18
    Member
    116 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    From the wording of the poll and question, it seems like the extra ‘in-law’ guests weren’t invited by you but by someone on your future son-in-law’s side.  I suspect that you might be trying to use these poll results to go back and tell them how wrong they are and how right you are.    You might have to be open-minded in your discussion about the possible options (cut the list, change the venue, alter the venue or just plain accept the current plans) since even if you disagree with the future in-laws, they will be part of your daughter’s new family.  A little bit of sucking it up for a pleasant conversation now might prevent acrimony in the future. 

    Post # 19
    Member
    128 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    We’re having a cocktail wedding, and probably won’t have a chair for everyone. This is ok for us, because its a generally younger crowd, and even at our house parties, people tend to stand and mingle more. To manage the chair shortfall, we’ll be doing a few things:

    Having a cloak room setup for people coats and bags so they don’t need to put them on seats,

    Having a cocktail food buffet and bar that encourages people to move around to get things

    Speeches immediately, leading into cake and dancing to move quickly into informal dancing and fun times

    Having flipflops for all ladies, so they don’t have to suffer in uncomfortables shoes

    We lose too much space with seating, and have been to weddings before that have alot of standing. I never even thought of it as an issue, just as something the married couple prefer in terms of style.

    Post # 20
    Member
    5 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    A point to clarify; are there MOSTLY out of town guests, or are there SOME out of town guests? It will make a HUGE difference in the rsvp count.

     

    My wedding was MOSTLY out of town guests. We invited about 130, and had about 55 actually attend. All of our concerns about renting extra chairs for the ceremony became non-issues.

     

    Just a thought! I know more weddings are some out of town guests, and ours was a little different for a non-destination wedding. 🙂

    Post # 21
    Member
    708 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @andielovesj:  +1 I hate to say it but I’ve been to engagements like this and this does happen and if the femalor guests wear heels or you have older guests this might get quite uncomfortable. Is there any possibility for a bar type area with bar chairs just for people to take a break?

    Post # 22
    Member
    1465 posts
    Bumble bee

    @andielovesj:  +1  You must have a seat for every butt.

    A wedding reception isn’t like going to a bar or a club.  It is a hosted event where the guests should be made very comfortable.  I too have attended a couple of receptions where there wasn’t enough seating.  I.NEVER.MOVED.FROM.MY.CHAIR  It made for a horrible evening.

    My Dh and I are only in our early/mid 50’s.  He has the back of a 90 year old but there will never be a time when a lady or elderly person is standing and he is sitting.  Won’t happen.  We would leave if there was inadequate seating.

    Post # 23
    Member
    243 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    I think you need a seat for every guest!  People like to leave a sweater or put down their clutch  and have a spot to retreat to that they know is theirs!  I like the idea of having casual seating or create seating areas that promote conversations if possible!  Benches and arm chairs help with this, try to create little vignettes where guests can mingle.  I would get easily irritated if I didn’t have a spot to return to when I was done dancing or to seat a balance my drink and cocktail plate.

    Post # 24
    Member
    1737 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2017

    I wouldn’t stay if I had to stand for 4 hours. That seems crazy to me.

    Post # 25
    Member
    192 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @besidemyself:  I would do whatever possible to have enough seating for people (rent chairs and bring them into the venue if allowed).  Many people WILL be standing for a lot of it, especially if there is dancing, because people stand and mingle anyway.  But you can’t just assume that people will stand.  Things will get really awkward really fast if people are forced into standing-room-only, and my guess is people will leave quickly if they aren’t comfortable.  I know I would.

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