Post # 1
We are having a destination wedding in HI and staying at the same resort for our honeymoon the week after. Most of our guests have told us they plan to make a vacation out of the trip (which I think is awesome!) My question is this: Do I have to hang out with these people on my honeymoon??? I know some plan to island hop but others are staying the whole week at the same resort. Im all about a lunch here or a dinner there BUT I dont want to feel like Im on vacation with family and friends the whole time (pool/beach/meals)!! How do I handle this without sounding rude/ungrateful that they traveled so far for the wedding?
Post # 3
You have to disappear yourself. Go to a different resort that week if you have to.
Post # 4
I would probably agree to that odd lunch or dinner (as you said) but then if it got to a lot then say “oh well actually we’re just going to spend some time together as it’s our honeymoon”. I saw my extended family on our honeymoon because they weren’t able to make it to the wedding and I found that helped diffuse potentially difficult situations.
Post # 5
NO!! Your honeymoon is private! Nobody in their right mind will be offended that you don’t hang with them on your freakin’ honeymoon! Thank your guests at the reception and then disappear! You guys deserve it! 🙂
Post # 6
@Mrs. Alias: We already booked the whole honeymoon at the resort!! This “issue” didnt occur to me until later!! If I would have known… I’d be hiding on a different island!
I suppose trying to disappear is the way to go. Im just so bad at saying NO to people. Hopefully they just wont ask to hang out!!
We are planning on taking a helicopter tour and my mother already invited herself! I dont mind that so much but I hope that is where the activity sharing ends!
Post # 7
Maybe you could take a proactive approach and plan one or two group events – a lunch, dinner etc. You can invite everyone to those events and be strategic in your wording. Something along the lines of, “Although we’ll be spending most of the week just the two of us as we’ll be honeymooning, we’d love to have dinner with everyone on Wednesday, etc.” YOu can obvoiusly refine the wording but I think it would get the point across.
Post # 8
What is the wording of your booking at the resort? Has it been prepaud or just prebooked? Can you spend two days at that resort and move to another for the rest of the week? The easiest way rto solve the problem is to be at a different resort at least for a portion of the time.
Post # 9
Maybe they have a sister resort and they would let you transfer over there?
Post # 10
@PumpkinSpiceChai: that is a great idea… BUT the first thing that comes to mind is – will people expect us to pay for something like that? we are hosting a welcome dinner and a sunday brunch already.
@plantains: paid for. done and done.
@Leafy: i am definitely going to look into this!! i wonder if we could just transfer our reservation to another hotel, maybe on another island!!
Thanks for the suggestions ladies!!
Post # 11
@pebble: Maybe you could find a polite way to word it so people know they’ll be paying. i.e., “meet us to jetski on Tuesday. Call 555-555-5555 for rentals. Jetskis are $XX/hour and water tubes are $xx/hour” You can do anything you want but just find a way to word it so it’s clear that it’s a meat up – not a hosted event.
Post # 12
- Wedding: December 2010 - Al Cielo / La Laguna
We had the same thought and I have been really surprised at how sweet all our family and friends have been. Everyone has told us that they don’t expect us to spend time with them since its our honeymoon. I would guess that your guests are probably going to get the same idea.
Two things also that are helping us is that we only have 30 people going and our resort is HUGE! So we had the travel agent space us out away from everyone. Could you have yourselves spaced out from your guests?
Post # 13
You two just do your own thing- that’s what we’re doing. Our families have been very respectful, like booking their vacation if taking one for the week before to end after the wedding, things like that, to give us our alone honeymoon time.
I have only friend who is giving us a hard time by booking the EXACT SAME TRIP the we booked!! So, we’re just going to pretty much ignore her. I’ll have to let you know how it turns out! 😉
Post # 14
We are getting married in Hawaii as well and we had this same fear. We made sure we booked our honeymoon at a different hotel than all the guests. But since thats not an option for you now, I say you pre-book a couple activities with the guests that want to spend time with you. Just a couple though! And really, if people dont understand that you want your alone time, you just have to be really honest and say “we’re on our honeymoon so we’re going to spend our time only with each other”. Its perfectly understandable.
Post # 15
Years ago, no one knew where the couple was going on their honeymoon, and there is a reason for that. Even with destination weddings, you have a right to your privacy.
If anyone asks, just tell them you have plans for each day but would love to see them once you get back on the mainland and get settled. It’s truly no one’s business.
Post # 16
We had the same issue.
We were there two weeks and the guests were supposed to stay only one week, but his parents decided to stay the second week as well.
During the first week, we hung out with people. Then, when the majority left, we had dinner with his parents and said we’d see them at the airport. The resort was big enough that it was easy to be alone.
But, what helped the most is that we booked a “Royal Service”, which had a private section of the beach, private pool and restaurant. No other guests had that, so we could always be alone whenever we wanted to. Try to see if your hotel has that kind of thing, it’s worth it!