(Closed) Wedding Guests’ Secret Gripes

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1883 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I agree with akk of these to some degree-however if a wedding had one or two happen-i wouldn’t be upset. sometimes our budgets can’t make everyone happy.

Post # 4
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Well, they have a few good points! Glad to see I avoided every single “don’t do” at my wedding. I don’t see how a few of them can’t be avoidable…but boy, can you imagine a wedding that included ALL of those? That would suck a little. I think most people go to a wedding not expecting for everything to be the way “they” want anyways nowadays. At least the sensible ones…=]

Post # 5
Member
4485 posts
Honey bee

I agree wholeheartedly with some aspects they mentioned and I strongly disagree with others (which are actually personal preferences of the writers and those interviewed, and not true breaches of etiquette). No matter what you do, there will be someone who isn’t happy but you can’t realistically cater to everyone’s personal whims and preferences. Be a gracious hostess to the best of your ability and if the guests still complain, that’s out of your hands.

Post # 6
Member
186 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

If a guest expects all of those things to happen, maybe he/she shouldn’t get an invite.

Things like the time between the ceremony and reception some times are out of the bride and groom’s hands.

 

Post # 7
Member
2324 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

I agree with the whole list. I’m so glad somebody else wrote it! 🙂

Post # 8
Member
1246 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Yeah, I agree with it, too.

Post # 10
Member
1490 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I agree with the list too.

Post # 11
Member
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I agree with most of it.  Some people are on a strict budget and just cannot afford an open bar though.  We talked to our reception venue and they’re willing to let us purchase two kegs from them that we will have hooked up at the bar.  Beer’s on us but if you want a mixed drink and/or shot it’s on you!!

Post # 12
Member
563 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I agree with the article – and I think the point on the open bar is that if you are spending a lot of money on other things (like flowers or a couture gown) then people are going to be annoyed at being asked to pay for their own drinks.  I understand that church schedules can cause gaps between the wedding and reception, but it is inconvenient for guests.  As a bride, you have to make tough choices that won’t always please everyone but it is helpful to understand the ramifications of your decisions before you make your choices. 

I’d also like to add – please provide food for the bridal party during the day.  I knew exactly where to find the bridal party  at the last wedding I was a bridesmaid at to round them up for pictures – I was starving since there was no food, and knew I would be able to find everyone at the buffet table for pictures.  People were not thrilled at losing their first opportunity to eat all day, and it didn’t make for the best pictures.

Post # 13
Member
2324 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

Yes, as far as open bar goes, the point was that if you’ve spent thousands elsewhere and can’t buy me a drink…shame on you.

Post # 14
Member
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

Ugh! I agree with the list, but it’s making me feel really bad right now because we have a 3 hour time gap at our upcoming wedding . . . we’re having a Catholic wedding, but we didn’t want an afternoon reception so there wasn’t a way to do it any other way!  Oh well, hopefully people won’t let it ruin their day . . . we don’t have any of the other “bad” things at least! 

Post # 15
Member
1023 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Since when is super bowl sunday a holiday? If I was getting married that day and someone complained about it, I would just ask “then why didn’t you rsvp NO”. Seriously, that is one thing about attending a wedding that you have absolute control over. 

(END rant). haha

Post # 16
Member
2373 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I agreed with this whole heartedly.  I’m a believer if you’re going to have a wedding, you need to think about your guests.  If your budget doesn’t allow for some sort of a bar (it doesn’t have to be full) or food you like (because food you like is always good :)- you need to either cut the guest list or some other aspect of the wedding.  I attended my first cash bar wedding a few months ago, and it was a joy kill.  The centerpieces and  lighting were beautiful, but I would have prefered a few tea light candles and beer/wine (or possibly a full bar) instead. 

 The one thing i’m iffy on is the time thing.  Yeah, for the guest it sucks- but sometimes I realize couples can’t help this.  Personally, I would switch venues- but many brides have emotional connections to the place where they are marrying so it’s totally understandable. 

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