(Closed) Wedding guilt!

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
9916 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

I felt similarly AFTER our wedding about a few friends of ours from where we live.  One of them even mentioned that he was upset he hadn’t been invited (he said this to another friend).  But you know what?  We didn’t invite them becuase we NEVER see them, and we don’t go out of our way for them EVER, and our guest list was creeping up anyway.  You made the choice not to invite this girl you like never see…so there you go.  That’s done with.


Now worry about other things, like…if you get all the champagne glasses you’ve registered for, where will you put them??

Post # 4
9790 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

Stop sweating- really. It’s fine she didn’t invite you and it’s fine you didn’t invite her. That doesn’t mean anyone is spiteful or means ill will- it just means you talk to each other in group settings 3 times a year: that does not get an invite . It’s no big deal- it’s just part of life!

Post # 5
9954 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Hi @Gilam746: I see this is your DEBUT Post… so a BIG Welcome to “the Hive”

I am a bit of an “Etiquette Snob… lol” here on WBee… in so much as I know the Rules for both Traditional & Modern Etiquette

In reality, there is NO RULE that says you have to recriprocate… you can or not, depending on your circumstances (financial, space etc)

To hold a grudge (like your Hubby) or to have guilt tho is not a good thing.

I’d take the higher road… and Invite her

Technically… as per Etiquette you can issue an Invite up to 3 Weeks before the Date of the Wedding… so if you want to, you truly could.

Can be done with a Formal Invite, or by personal note… then it is ALL UP TO HER what she chooses to do with the “Olive Branch”

Hope this helps,


Post # 7
9954 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

To @Gilam746:  You don’t say anything… you don’t apologize (or have to)… as that would be awkward.

You just send an Invitation… a printed one if you have one left over.  If not a note just saying you’d like her there with the details as to the event.

Let her do with it what she wants… she can see it as an “Olive Branch” or an After-thought that is up to her.

Whatever she does is going to be on her, not you.

You’ll have taken the high road.

Chances are tho after all is said & done, and how she responds, will clearly tell you where your relationship with her stands.

Hope this helps,

PS… In truth, as people move thru the major milestones in life, we tend to have those we thought were friends drift away.  It is rare for example to be my age (in my 50s) and have Friendships that go back in time to HS, College etc.  People make choices, friendships take work.  Such is life.


Post # 8
11419 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009


Now that you’re so close to the wedding date, and some of your guests likely have declined, do you have room to add her? If so, I would call her and let her know that you originally had wanted to include her, but, due to space limitations, you were not able to do so. However, now that you know that some of your family members aren’t able to attend, you would be honored if she were able to share your day with you. Apologize for the short notice, and then see what she says. There’s a good chance she will be very happy that you went out of your way to include her. I don’t think you have anything to lose by extending the invitation at this point.

Post # 9
692 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Honestly, this girl probably couldn’t care less and is probably sleeping better than you tonight. She didn’t care to share her day with you, because you’re not that close, not because she hates you. You chose not to include her for the same reason. It’s really not that big of a deal.


Post # 10
473 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

@LuluInLove:  that’s right!

OP Do you think she felt like this when she didn’t invite you to her wedding? so don’t worry about it for another second! Your partner didn’t want to invite her, just let sleeping dogs lie 🙂 seriously it’s all good! Now, just enjoy your wedding coming up. PS Mine is 8 days after yours! 


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