Post # 1
I am having a family issue/bridal party issue and I could really use some advice/encouragement. It all began with a tu tu. After reading Miss Snow’s blog and seeing the cute pictures of flower girls in tu tus, I immediately decided that this is what I would like my flowers girls to wear. So, I asked my little cousin M, and my fiance’s niece S. My Maid/Matron of Honor (aka, my Aunt) is the mother of cousin M and since she knows everything about the wedding I thought she’d be excited. Well, I was wrong.
She does not want to “waste her money” on a $20 tu tu that cousin M will never wear again. Um, hello? She’s wearing it in the wedding! It’s not a waste. She then emailed me 5 flower girl dresses with hopes of changing my mind. When this didn’t work she got ticked. When I told her I wanted the tu tus and that was that she said “Well, we’re not doing that, so I guess you’re not having flower girls anymore.” I told her that we would still have my fiance’s niece S in the wedding even though cousin M wasn’t. At this point the crap hit the fan. She started crying and telling me how insulted she was that I would do that to her.
This is just crazy to me. I’m sorry that she doesn’t like the tu tu idea, but this is my wedding and I would like my flower girls in tu tus. Period. A $20 tu tu. It’s not like I want her to buy a $100 dress. Since this debacle things have been really tense between us. I am extremely stressed and feel like I am just drowning in wedding drama. I have been bending over backwards to accommodate my bridal party and guests and I am about to break. The bridezilla switch is about to get flipped!!!!!
In the midst of all of this, my mother is adamant on having a dress that shows her mucho cleavage, my sisters (other 2 bridesmaids) don’t care about getting fitted for their dresses, and my dad is no longer invited. I am in wedding hell. Please help.
Post # 3
((HUGS)) no help… other than can you buy the tutus for the girls as a gift to them? i think it’s a darling idea. and your cousin may be stressed or something? everyone knows that ALL GIRLS would love to play dressup in tutus!! well maybe not all girls, but i bet she’d have a friend that would love it lol!
Post # 4
here are some compromises…a little bit dress, a little bit tutu…
defintiely check http://www.tutugirl.com
Post # 5
offer to buy the tutu, if she still says no then forget it and just use your other cousin. shes trying ot throw her weight around to get her way, but its your wedding
Post # 6
I would just buy the tutu’s and call it a day. People need to be careful when they make threats they don’t intend to go through with.
Post # 7
Ok…breathe. I know it’s difficult to try and please everyone and ultimately you won’t because you just can’t. People will always have their issues. If you can afford it, maybe you can offer to pay for the tutu. That way your aunt isn’t wasting her money and your girls will be in tutus.
Post # 8
I was chiming in to say buy the tu-tu yourself.
Also, I sympathize. I don’t know what it is about weddings, but I’m finding that a lot of people/guests think they can just throw their weight around. I went through it last week and I am sure it will crop up again.
Post # 9
That’s terrible! Just remember that this is all on her… $20 is completely reasonable for a flower girl outfit, even if she *won’t* ever wear it again. Which she probably would, if only for playing dress-up! Your aunt is being a crazy drama queen. Of course, it’s not really *about* the $20 – it’s about your aunt wanting to control your wedding. As a final peace-keeping gesture, I might call her and say that if she really has a problem with *buying* the tutu, you’re happy to give it to cousin M as a gift. If the problem is that your flower girls are wearing tutus, though, cousin M is welcome to attend as a guest, wearing whatever your aunt likes.
Post # 10
I’m with Ashleyjane on this one, just offer to buy the tutu and if the aunt still says no, the you should just have the one flower girl. Don’t let her push you around!
Post # 11
If you are crafty you might want want to consider making the tutus yourself. I have made several. They are cheap and easy to make.
If you don’t want to make it maybe you can offer to buy the girl’s tutus since they are only $20?
Hope this works out for you and the flower girls’ mom.
Post # 12
If you’re on a budget (which would make two $20 tutus even more to handle) you could DIY them and gift the tutus. I’ve seen alot of cute DIY ones that would save both of you money!
Post # 13
I would just buy the tutus for them and call it a day.
If it makes you feel any better, one of my BMs (my cousin) is refusing to pick any of the EIGHT dresses I gave the girls as choices to wear. She insists she doesn’t like any of them and wants to wear something different. Ugh.
Post # 14
Thanks so much for the feedback! I’ve offered to buy the tu tu for cousin M but my MOH/her mom said that she would not feel right about me buying the tu tu. Sooo oh well. I will just have one flower girl and (like y’all said) call it a day!
Post # 15
Like other bees have said, I would just buy the tutus for them.
My flower girl’s mother is also giving me a hard time about her dress, as if I was purposely trying to put her in something ugly or unflattering.
Post # 16
Why do people have to be so difficult? Its a totally adorable idea, but even if she didn’t like it- put the dang kid in the $20 tutu for a couple of hours! Yeesh!