(Closed) Wedding hell….help please!!!

posted 11 years ago in Money
Post # 17
Member
493 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Why do people have to be so difficult?

I don’t know, but man, it seems like everyone has a story and thinks they’re a unique snowflake that needs extra special consideration/treatment/exception.

It sucks that your Maid/Matron of Honor is doing this to you about the tu-tu, @ Holly Golightly. I expect she’ll gripe about her position as Maid/Matron of Honor next?

Hold your ground. It’s tough, but do it. Best Hive advice I’ve gotten so far.


Post # 18
Member
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

OMG what little girl wouldn’t want a tutu?!? As for not getting use out of it, I know if that was me and I was little, I’d wear that around the house to play in all the time and love every second of it. Haha can you get your little cousin on your side, tell her about the tutu idea, and then have her annoy/whine her mother into submission? That’s what I’d do. Underhanded? Maybe. Effective? Probably.

Post # 19
Member
2472 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

She doesn’t want to buy a tutu because her daughter can’t wear it again?  Like her daughter would really wear a regular flower girl dress again??

Post # 20
Member
1700 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

She won’t pay for it, and now she doesn’t feel right about you paying for it either???? Good grief. You can’t win for losing!! Undecided So sorry you have to deal with stuff like that.

I haven’t gotten to the point in planning where all this stuff starts happening, but all of yall’s stories are scaring the crap out of me! LOL I just don’t know that I will be able to deal with people as well as much grace as some of you all!! haha

Post # 21
Member
1765 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

About your other problems:

1. Go with your mom to buy her dress. Tell the saleslady not to show her any with cleavage-enhancing necklines. As a final way to cover her up if she picks a cleavage enhancing dress, get some sort of pretty shrug for her “day of”… or take some pics and show her how she’s busting out of her dress. You won’t be the one looking ridiculous in your pictures, though, so don’t worry too much.

2. Sign your sisters up for their appointments, tell them that the appointments are at _____ time, and that they can call and reschedule sometime THAT week to get fitted if that particular day/time doesn’t work.

3. So sorry about the drama going on with your dad, too. 🙁 I hope things get better!!!

Good luck girl!!!

Post # 22
Member
563 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

My cousin plays dress up in her flower girl dress – she puts it on and pretends that she is  a bride.  I’m sure your niece would love to play dress up with a tutu after the wedding.

I’m sorry – it is really hard planning a wedding with a difficult family.  No matter how terrible they have been to you your whole life, you still expect them on some level to pull together and behave on that day.  It may not happen, and you have to just push foward knowing that you have done everything right, but can’t control other people’s actions.  

Post # 23
Member
1675 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Sorry!!  That pretty much sucks.  Seriously, your Maid/Matron of Honor won’t even accept a $20 tutu as a gift?  I don’t know… it’s not like I’m rich by any stretch of the imagination… but to me a $20 gift would really be no big deal, so why refuse it?  It sounds like she is really being a huge pain about this tutu thing. 

Post # 24
Member
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Really?  The kids will never wear tutus again?  Those girls will most likely wear those things for every Halloween until they grow out of them!  Or, as professorbee pointed out — they’ll go into the dress-up box.  Sheesh.  I’d say if you’re that set on them, buy them yourself and suck it up.  Then cackle at the next three years worth of Halloween photos when the girls are re-using them because they love their tutus so much. 

Post # 25
Member
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Why oh why do people have to be so difficult?  I, for one, dressed up in tutu’s all the time after inheriting them from a cousin.  So much fun.   Since the mom isn’t going to let you gift it to her either, it seems like she’s just out to make a point no matter what.  If you caved and picked a flower girl dress out that wasn’t what she forwarded you, chances are she’d not approve of that either.  As one who has received nothing but grief from siblings since day five of being engaged, I feel your pain.  I just can’t promise it will get any better.  HUGS!!!!!

Post # 26
Member
6659 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I agree that you should consider buying the dresses, but it sounds like the issue is bigger than the money. I think this is a control issue – maybe her mom doesn’t like the look of the tutus and is trying to make the final wardrobe decision, bypassing the bride. It was a real power move to say that her daughter was being ‘pulled out’ of her fg duties to which I would have responded more like “I’m very sorry you feel this way and I’m sad she won’t be a fg at our wedding. If you change your mind, I would be happy to pay for her tutu and note that the other flower girl is still on board”.

Post # 27
Member
62 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I think you should buy them.

 

Post # 28
Member
654 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Its YOUR wedding, if you want tutus then buy the tutus! If she has a problem with it then she can just not have her flowergirl in your wedding. Its as simple as that.

Post # 29
Member
5976 posts
Bee Keeper

Ugh…what a mess! I definitely wouldn’t let her push you around. She’s really trying to make sure her little girl is NOT in a tutu the day of your wedding, and that’s just her preference. If she won’t let you buy it, and she won’t buy it herself, then one flower girl. Oh well!

I’m really sorry to hear the other family drama as well. I would agree with the poster who said to go with your mom and to make sure the sales woman doesn’t give your mom any dresses with low cut necklines. Make it clear to your mom that this is a classy event, and her cleavage wasn’t invited!

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