Wedding Help

posted 1 week ago in Beehive
Post # 2
4902 posts
Honey bee

You don’t say specifically when your wedding is supposed to be (I’m guess November if that’s accurate from your bio) or how many guests you were planning on (but I’m guessing it’s more than most states are currently being allowed if it’s worth hiring a DJ for).

I don’t think there’s the possibility that “everything will be fine by then”.  Will people be letting their guard down and trying to do stuff like have larger weddings like they were doing before?  Sure they will.  Is it smart?  Probably not.

While I try to stay away from too much coverage, I’ll admit to reading some articles this morning.  One of the articles I read was from an AIDS and cancer researcher who said we shouldn’t assume that a vaccine is even a guarantee (not all disease ends with a successful vaccine) and we might not find one (and if we’re lucky enough that they do – I wouldn’t count on it being available by November).  The other was a human interest piece from a journalist who covered the Ebola virus outbreak and adopted three little girls who were orphaned as a result.  She had noted the date of death of their father who died from Ebola was at the tail end of crisis in that country where very few new cases were occuring and not too long before it was gone entirely from the country.  Now she admits the article that Ebola is more deadly on the surface in terms of likelihood of survival, but there’s a lot we still don’t know about the transmission of COVID and even things like standing near air vents can be a risk factor because of how it is transmitted through the air.  But the point of the article is the focus on waves of the virus is misplaced because the risk is still there even if it isn’t a “wave” and the children of the very last person to die of COVID will still be orphans.

So that said and without knowing more about your plans specifically, I probably would either postpone indefinitely and revisit next year if your specific plans are more important to you, or reconfigure your plans to a small immediate only gathering if being married sooner is more important to you.  You can go for the keep on keeping on option as well, including keeping the plans as is and let people police themselves.  Only you can decide how much risk you’re willing to take. 

Post # 3
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: City, State

I would cancel, do a courthouse or other very small ceremony and reevaluate a celebration next year.


Post # 4
39 posts

How many people are you planning on attending? I would be worried about giving more money to a venue who is showing signs of huge fiancial struggle, as they could go bankrupted. Also, I think smaller weddings (around 50 or less) can happen by November depending on where you live. I am not sure about anything over 100 without restrictions.



Post # 5
715 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2020

If you’re not afraid the venue will close down indefinitely, I would pay the rest of the deposit.  I assume they would reschedule you later if they need to.  If you’re very anxious about the virus and a big wedding isn’t super important to you, just do the courthouse and forget the big party.  I’m hoping to have a 50-guest wedding in November.  My venue is very stable and everything is already planned.  The only thing I’ve been holding off on is invites and I haven’t been able to get dress alterations. I’m assuming and have accepted that our most at-risk guests won’t be able to attend.

Post # 6
764 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

If I were set to have a wedding at all in 2020 I would either postpone the whole thing, or go to the courthouse (pending closures) on the date I had planned for and do a big celebration the following year in the summer…. a lot of people are doing that type of thing! At this point everything is so up in the air…. for me it’s better to be safe than sorry.

Post # 7
4110 posts
Honey bee

I wouldn’t post an additional deposit right now. Most venues are on the edge of bankruptcy.

Post # 8
7165 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

I think there will be a second wave, and I think there will be more closures, but I think September would be too soon for the second wave to hit. Still, I’m not sure I’d be comfortable betting $7500 on it…

Post # 9
30 posts
  • Wedding: August 2014

I’d cancel. Do courthouse wedding and reevaluate. I don’t think it’ll be all clear for large gatherings by the fall. Maybe livestream it somehow so everyone can at least see the ceremony?

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