Post # 1
Let me start off by saying that at the beginning of May, I had a family member die of COVID. Needless to say, that has exponentially increased my anxiety surrounding the wedding, especially since there is talk about a second wave. I clearly do not want to have a wedding that puts my closest friends and family at risk.
My fiancé was furloughed, but is thankfully back to work so we had put a hold on wedding plans in March. Our venue is pretty much all inclusive so we’ve only put the initial deposit down to them and a photographer.
We are due to put our second deposit of $5,000 for the venue in 5 days. We reached out to the event planner to share our concerns and ask questions related to COVID and the wedding. Unfortunately, the event planner is currently furloughed which is not reassuring. While she even admitted it is too early to tell, she did say that we would re-examine in September, which seems forever away. I asked if we could post-pone the second deposit for as long as we can in order to get a better idea of what the future will hold. Not only did I get a strong no (not from the event planner), I also got a warning that dates in November are booking up quickly since other brides have had to reschedule.
I am not sure what to do from here. There is a big difference between the $2,500 we already put down and $7,500. I am not sure what would happen if we decided to reschedule now, but we’re essentially willing to lose that $2,500 if need be. If there is a second wave, we still plan on getting married in a courthouse if they are open, but then I would have to reschedule everything and so would everyone else that has already rescheduled for a November date. Keep in mind I’ve been putting everything off because of the uncertainty, so no save the dates, haven’t booked a DJ, haven’t even been able to go to a tasting/floral visit (through the venue) because it keeps getting post-poned.
At this point, I have NO CLUE what to do. Should I resume planning and deal with whatever is happening closer to the wedding date? Should I attempt to reschedule, even if there is a possibility that everything could be fine by then? Should I pay the second deposit anyway? Should I just cancel the whole thing and stick with a courthouse wedding?
I feel like time is closing in and a decision needs to be made even though there is still so much uncertainty surrounding everything. Any opinions/advice/similar stories would be greatly appreciated!
Post # 2
You don’t say specifically when your wedding is supposed to be (I’m guess November if that’s accurate from your bio) or how many guests you were planning on (but I’m guessing it’s more than most states are currently being allowed if it’s worth hiring a DJ for).
I don’t think there’s the possibility that “everything will be fine by then”. Will people be letting their guard down and trying to do stuff like have larger weddings like they were doing before? Sure they will. Is it smart? Probably not.
While I try to stay away from too much coverage, I’ll admit to reading some articles this morning. One of the articles I read was from an AIDS and cancer researcher who said we shouldn’t assume that a vaccine is even a guarantee (not all disease ends with a successful vaccine) and we might not find one (and if we’re lucky enough that they do – I wouldn’t count on it being available by November). The other was a human interest piece from a journalist who covered the Ebola virus outbreak and adopted three little girls who were orphaned as a result. She had noted the date of death of their father who died from Ebola was at the tail end of crisis in that country where very few new cases were occuring and not too long before it was gone entirely from the country. Now she admits the article that Ebola is more deadly on the surface in terms of likelihood of survival, but there’s a lot we still don’t know about the transmission of COVID and even things like standing near air vents can be a risk factor because of how it is transmitted through the air. But the point of the article is the focus on waves of the virus is misplaced because the risk is still there even if it isn’t a “wave” and the children of the very last person to die of COVID will still be orphans.
So that said and without knowing more about your plans specifically, I probably would either postpone indefinitely and revisit next year if your specific plans are more important to you, or reconfigure your plans to a small immediate only gathering if being married sooner is more important to you. You can go for the keep on keeping on option as well, including keeping the plans as is and let people police themselves. Only you can decide how much risk you’re willing to take.
Post # 3
I would cancel, do a courthouse or other very small ceremony and reevaluate a celebration next year.
Post # 4
How many people are you planning on attending? I would be worried about giving more money to a venue who is showing signs of huge fiancial struggle, as they could go bankrupted. Also, I think smaller weddings (around 50 or less) can happen by November depending on where you live. I am not sure about anything over 100 without restrictions.
Post # 5
If you’re not afraid the venue will close down indefinitely, I would pay the rest of the deposit. I assume they would reschedule you later if they need to. If you’re very anxious about the virus and a big wedding isn’t super important to you, just do the courthouse and forget the big party. I’m hoping to have a 50-guest wedding in November. My venue is very stable and everything is already planned. The only thing I’ve been holding off on is invites and I haven’t been able to get dress alterations. I’m assuming and have accepted that our most at-risk guests won’t be able to attend.
Post # 6
If I were set to have a wedding at all in 2020 I would either postpone the whole thing, or go to the courthouse (pending closures) on the date I had planned for and do a big celebration the following year in the summer…. a lot of people are doing that type of thing! At this point everything is so up in the air…. for me it’s better to be safe than sorry.
Post # 7
I wouldn’t post an additional deposit right now. Most venues are on the edge of bankruptcy.
Post # 8
I think there will be a second wave, and I think there will be more closures, but I think September would be too soon for the second wave to hit. Still, I’m not sure I’d be comfortable betting $7500 on it…
Post # 9
I’d cancel. Do courthouse wedding and reevaluate. I don’t think it’ll be all clear for large gatherings by the fall. Maybe livestream it somehow so everyone can at least see the ceremony?