(Closed) Wedding in a week and depressed about weight…

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3465 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Okay, your Fiance sounds a tad bit controlling (sorry!) I totally understand him not wanting you to loose weight, but maybe the answer isn’t “weight loss” but muscle gain. If you work out and gain muscle you may weigh more than you would expect, but you’d still be thin because muscle weighs more than fat ๐Ÿ™‚ So maybe instead of intense dieting you can eat healthy (research clean eating) and lift weights. You’ll see a dramatic difference in a few months and you’ll feel better about yourself. I’m sorry you’re having a rough time, believe me we’ve all been there ( for me it depends on the day!) I’m not overweight, but I envy girls skinnier than me. What I’ve found tho is that no matter what I do my body doesn’t allow me to be any less than 112 lbs. I sit normally around 114-118 a little heavier than I’d like, but when I’m at 112 I’m STARVING. You need to find the perfect equilibrium for your health issues and for you (and i guess your FI?) Hope my short ramble helps lol

ETA: I’m 5ft btw, forgot to mention that lol

Post # 5
Member
4495 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’m 4’10 and if I don’t watch what I eat/exercise my body tends to settle around 115-120. On me that is pretty chubby. I have a very short torso so I end up looking thick around the middle. People don’t understand, but on very short people even a size 4/6 can look thick just because of the proportions of our bodies. I lost 30 lbs, but it took me about 9 months – super slow!!! I do a lot of pushups, exercises with light weights, and boxing.

I agree with the PP about trying to tone and not necessarily lose weight. I can’t imagine your Fiance would care about that, right? Honestly, my Fiance just wants me to be happy. He was completely fine with me being 115, but I wasn’t so I did something about it. If he had told me not to then I would have still done it anyway – its not his decision and you have a right to be happy with yourself and to be healthy. Its one thing if you were trying to be stickly thin to the point that you look sickly, but if you are intending on remaining at a healthy weight then I don’t know what the problem is.

Post # 7
Member
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@prettyinpink11:  

@lawbride88:  My Fiance would probably say the same thing. He wouldnt want me making myself miserable over this. We have the same wedding date and I would like to be 5 pounds less as well (I am 5’3 and carry my weight in my face) but I am due for my preiod on thursday and hope that knocks off about 3 more pounds.

As far as your arms, do pushhups, pushups, pushups. You get a very fast result,

Post # 8
Member
287 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I saw you post on another thread and am not surprised to hear you have had a past eating disorder. Did you receive past intervention for that issue? I think your Fiance is right to be concerned about you losing weight, he obviously is concerned it may re-trigger your past issues and loves you enough to not want to see that happen. My advice isn’t going to help you lose weight but is aimed more at your mental state. Seek professional help…coming from someone who has been overweight most of her adult life, it’s no fun to waste your life obsessing about this stuff and it really breaks my heart to hear someone suffer because they feel fat and unattractive at 115lbs. You need to learn to love yourself as is…you say you want to get pregnant, if you fall apart at the idea of your face and arms looking heavier for your wedding day, how are you going to handle the weight gain of pregnancy? I’m sure this isn’t something you would want a future daughter to go through and children tend to learn by example. Please try and focus on the joy of the day and know that as long as you are happy, that beauty will radiate from within, even if your face and arms aren’t perfect. You clearly already live a healthy lifestyle and that is more important than aesthetics….please see a therapist who specializes in eating disorders if you haven’t already.

Post # 9
Member
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@lawbride88:  Ok, if you knew this was the healthiest weight for you, could you deal with it? You might be at your ideal weight for your health but not your ideal weight for your own aesthetics.

Post # 10
Member
4495 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@lawbride88:  I’m 90 lbs right now and I am super happy with my weight. I am still not one of those stickly thin girls (never have been, its just not my body), but I am thin and toned. I hated my arms for a while and I think what worked the best was all the pushups. I followed the routine on 100pushups.com, but I certainly didn’t move through it as fast as it suggests for you to – I just physically couldn’t move from one step to another that quickly. I noticed that when I only lifted weights my arms were getting stronger, but not leaner looking if that makes sense? It was like I was gaining muscle in my arms, but not losing the chub. I didn’t start to see my arms getting smaller until I started doing pushups.

Through losing all of this weight I did lose some of my curves (though not all of them, they’re just smaller) so I think my Fiance would probably say that for him my ideal weight was around 96-98ish.

I also gave up almost all processed food with exception of whole wheat pasta, cheese, and some ‘healthier’ breads. I splurge here and there, but processed foods just aren’t part of my regular, daily diet. I think it really helped with my weight loss and I feel so much better. I also drink hot water with a couple of spoonfuls of raw honey in it (tastes just like hot tea – I love it) and I noticed that when I started doing this that it really boosted my weightloss. There is a lot of info online about this honey water mixture being super healthy and helpful with losing weight. I had first read about it from a pin on pinterest and I thought it might just be a gimmick, but I noticed it really making a difference.

Post # 12
Member
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@lawbride88:  Can you try one of those body wraps right beforehand? If I am still carrying period bloat, I will do that saturday afternoon. I have heard that they are good for a few pounds. If you don’t like the way your face looks, can your makeup artist sculpt it?  Look at Oprah, they always manage to sculpt her face so it looks chiselled.

Post # 13
Member
3465 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

@lawbride88:  Sorry, didn’t mean to make it sound like your Fiance didnt approve of you! I just more meant that if you want to loose weight in a safe healthy way than instead of saying no he could be more supportive. Men definitely have a different view of us than we do of ourselves! It’s great that he loves you for you (he should!) I’m just saying you said you feel uncomfortable and I’d hate to see you continue to feel that way just to please him. Lets face it he’d love you minus a few lbs too if it meant you felt happy!

To answer your question- yes I did diet down. I used to be around 124 (which makes me cringe thinking about it) and now I vary between 114-118. I always think I could loose a few pounds, but generally I’m happy with how I am because I know how it feels to be my thinnest and it drove me insane. My SO and I are foodies and so I watch what I eat and am physically active and I stay around the same weight. I feel like body image is ALWAYS a struggle, but if you can accept how you are and know your SO loves you than it will make you a much happier person.

Hope that helps!

Post # 14
Member
4495 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@lawbride88:  Yeah… I’m definitely not one of those ‘thin girls’ ๐Ÿ˜‰ I had nerve damage in one of my legs when I was 13 and since then have been in a small, manual wheelchair. Due to this I have very little weight in my lower body so that is why at 90 lbs I’m not a stick. If I could walk then certainly I would weigh more even while staying at my current size. I think you’re an inch taller than me, not shorter… I’m 4’10”

Post # 16
Member
3465 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

@lawbride88: Thanks!  I think I gained a lot of weight when I first stared college because of my meal plan and I was depressed the first semester of my freshman year which didnt help.  Thankfully, I switched schools and found my SO two weeks into my second semester and I started to loose weight.

  If I was in your situation I would probably feel how you do. I read about the meds and I’m sorry they’re making things harder! As hard as things get just remember the man you’re marrying loves you EXACTLY how you are. I know that you’ll look beautiful on your wedding day and I hope you cherish it! I also hope you’re able to get pregnant soon ๐Ÿ™‚

The topic ‘Wedding in a week and depressed about weight…’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors