(Closed) Wedding in about 3 weeks – Still don't love my dress. I'm heartbroken.

posted 5 years ago in Dress
Post # 16
Member
39 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2015

If you can swing it, go for what you want.  I had the exact same thing happen to me.  I looked to everyone else’s opinions for what I should wear on my wedding day.  I had the same regret actually SIGNING the agreement.  I left the dress shop after paying for the dress and within two days, the real dress regret began.  Everyone told me that my dress was great, I couldn’t have chosen a better dress, etc., but I knew it was the wrong choice.  I did everything I could to love the dress.  I even took the dress to a seamstress to see if there was something that could be done to alter it, so I would love it.  Her advice?  I can alter it any way you want, but I would suggest that you do some more shopping and see if there’s something out there that you will love more.  After that, I did nothing but look at other dresses for months and told everyone how much I hated my dress.  No one listened.  Finally, I said, I’m putting my dress up for sale and I’m going to start looking again.  I can tell you that I didn’t really know what I wanted, but I knew my dress wasn’t cutting it for me.  I started shopping and ended up with a dress that I am actually excited to wear.  I agree with ksn1219, you will feel so much better if you just get the dress you love.  Totally worth it!  Go back to the store where they had the dress that you liked so much and see if you can buy it or something similar to it.  I don’t regret one bit, my decision.  I am certain you will feel the same.

Post # 17
Member
1294 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

Can we see pictures?

I HIGHLY recommend Modcloth. You don’t always have to get a bridal gown at a bridal store and they have so many beautiful options.

Post # 18
Member
1445 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

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upsetbride5:  I’ll tell you a little secret…I was in your shoes. I felt like I got caught up in the moment, but when I would secretly look at my dress, I would think, this is absolutely not what I imagined and I forced myself past it because what else was there to do? I was sick to think that I’d look foolish in my wedding day. 

Fast forward to two weeks ago and my Darling Husband was absolutely floored by my dress. I felt beautiful and got nothing but compliments. My first decision was the right decision and I had spent months secretly worried for nothing. 

Post # 19
Member
376 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I recommend not engaging anyone when making these decisions… they’ll make you second guess yourself! For me it was the groom (first wedding)  :/

Post # 20
Member
297 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
upsetbride5:  aww I can relate to bring pressured to do something you don’t want and then feeling guilty! I’ve been in very very similar situations and it’s so hard. Is there still time to get the dress you’ve always wanted? I’d rather spend more money on another dress I know I will be happy in and “lose” the money already paid (or even get selling the tighter fitting dress!). Wedding planning is soooo stressful and it’s hard not to think about the money, but you deserve to be happy on your special day!!

Post # 22
Member
102 posts
Blushing bee

I’m sorry, this stinks. If you can swing it like other bees have suggested, get another dress. I know the dress isn’t what matters but you’ll be so upset every time you think of your wedding. I let my family sway me too, I liked another dress more but chose what they liked. Now I did love my dress but it’s still upsetting to me that I didn’t wear what I really wanted. And this is actually liking what I wore! If you hate your dress try to see if there’s anything you can do To get something else. 

Post # 24
Member
1809 posts
Buzzing bee

Can I be honest? The dress looks wonderful on you. BUT…I get it. The weekend will be here shortly. Like others have suggested, why not carve out a little time to just see if you can try on your dream dress silhouette? I normally wouldn’t say this but I’d even consider putting it on a credit card if I were that upset. They do give great deals on rack dresses and 3 weeks is just enough time to have one fitting/alteration.

PS Tell no one, bring no one. Your day, your way.

Post # 25
Member
4036 posts
Honey bee

It looks lovely so there is ZERO risk of you not looking like a very beautiful bride in 3 week’s time even if you can’t replace it. It is very lacy (maybe not your taste, though I like that about it) and fitted across the hips.  Go and have a look on the last minute bride website.  They have quite a few A line , strapless dresses there.  Not sure what your size is but maybe someting they have is alterable.

Post # 26
Member
1198 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

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upsetbride5:  you look lovely! i was expecting to see some hideous lump of lace that made you look squat and stumpy but you look incredible!! don’t worry about it and enjoy the positive sides of your wedding coming up. if you’re really worried, maybe look for another dress (rent the runway? asos?) and change out for the reception. 

Post # 27
Member
7681 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

View original reply
upsetbride5:  About 5 years ago, there was a Justin Alexander gown that seemed similar.  I think there were 2 lengths to it, a cocktail length justin alexander 8465, BUT I think it also came in a ball gown size. If you like it, Perhaps there are still some available for sale?  

Post # 28
Member
509 posts
Busy bee

The dress looks fantastic on you!  I understand though, if you don’t like it, you have to get something else……you got tons of good ideas from others, so,  I won’t go into it. 

Get your butt out to the stores, and you can get it altered.  There are places that do alterations that aren’t connected to bridal stores.  There are lots of independents out there who could do it.

Post # 29
Member
1445 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

View original reply
upsetbride5: You are so right! When it comes to wedding planning, opinions are coming from every direction!

 I went with a ball gown, but I am not normally a girly girl and I just felt unsure and a little silly. My confidence started to spike the minute that my flower girls saw me. They said “you’re a princess like us!!!” and I have a picture of that moment when I did a spin to give them a smile. In that moment, I finally lost my nervousness and worry about my dress. I wish I could have bottled my DH’s reaction a few minutes later. I wanted to feel good about my decision and his opinion meant a lot. He never expected to see me in a ball gown, although I’m not sure what he did expect, and he was so pleasantly surprised! 

I hope it all works out for you. Keep us posted please. 

Post # 30
Member
489 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

Don’t feel too bad about this! I also bought a dress originally that I didn’t feel quite right about, even in the salon, and I couldn’t get over it. I was FREAKING OUT! I felt so ashamed/crazy, but then I came on here and it seems like this actually happens all the time. I went with a dress that I really liked and the people shopping with me loved, but then ended up switching my order to the one I’d really loved the most myself. The relief I felt after I made the change was immense and immediate. So, though you might feel ridiculous putting so much into the dress, I totally get it (as do many of the other posters on here) and you should definitely make an effort to find something new if it would make you feel happier/more comfortable on the day. Your dress looks great on you, but if it’s not what you want then it’s not what you want.

I live in NYC too and I know there are some stores you can go to to shop for dresses off the rack with no appointment. I can’t remember the name of one in particular I heard about but I’ll try to get back to you later today when I figure it out! You should be able to just walk in after work or maybe on a lunch break and at least see if they have anything. There’s also preownedweddingdresses.com. Some of those people live in NYC or surrounding areas so you could potentially buy straight from them. 

If you do stick with yours, though, it really does look great, so you’ll probably start to feel better about it when your whole look comes together and it’s all actually happening! Good luck!! 

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