(Closed) Wedding in dec and my sister MOH and Husband (usher) have split!

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2204 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Just be there for your sister- be supportive, be a shoulder to cry on if she needs it. It would be kind of you to not expect too much help from her on wedding stuff. It’s hard situation for everyone but the best thing you can do it be there when she needs you.

Post # 4
Member
46373 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I am sure that your sister wants you to be happy. Be as sensitive as you can, but also do not let this take away your happiness.

Post # 5
Member
2589 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@red48:

Im going through the EXACT same thing -felt like a bomb dropped on my entire life yesterday –  only its my 2 oldest/closest friends instead of sister.  But both of them were supposed to be important members of my wedding party, and both of them are still being supportive and wanting to be involved in our wedding, but wishes the other wasn’t even going to be there.

Dont let anyone tell you its selfish to be sad and upset for the effect this will have on you – as long as you have some perspective and know that as hard as it is for you, its even harder for her.  

My friend still actually wants to go to a Bridal Expo with me this weekend – I begged her to be SURE she wasn’t just trying to be nice, but she explained that she WANTS to be able to put her time and attention on something happy and not on her or her divorce. Maybe your sister will feel the same, and you can feel good about being a nice distraction for her. Or if she doesn’t feel that way, you’ll just have to be patient and understanding.

Theres very little in the way of rights and wrongs when it comes to dealing with things that are this heavy and emotional.   Just do your best, and vent when you need to.

Post # 7
Member
1525 posts
Bumble bee

I think it’s normal to be a little shy about getting married there since you’re tying the bad memories to it now, but it was a moment of happiness with your whole family. I think that your sister is genuinely happy for you and if it was me, I would want you to get married there since it’s about your dad being there. That way you can remember your dad. Just focus on that, and not how their marriage has ended. 

It’s really sad that they’re getting a divorce, and it’s a big change for them, but it’s also a big change for you and your family. So it’s okay to be upset, and it’s natural to be upset. Just be there for your sister, and I think that would be all she needs. It’s really strong of her to still want to be so involved, and so I wouldn’t taint anything with the divorce. Just genuinely be hapy when you’re doing stuff for your wedding and if she becomes sad, then comfort her. 

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