Post # 1
I am feeling empty and I don’t know what I should do. This morning I received a text from my sister informing me that she and her husband were separating. I am so sad, as I am close to my sister and her husband is like a brother to me. I am totally shocked, and feel so sad for her. We are part of a large group of friends, my sister and her husband being the linch pin of the group. I’m devastated.
It all came about as my sisters husband was supposed to be an usher at our wedding in december. We had been texting him to arrange for him to try on his suit that had come in but he had been strangely quiet and not answering the phone. My sister text and explained their separation and that he would not be attending the stag do which is next week and to count him out as an usher. After speaking to her, I now know it was his decision and he is no longer sure if he is in love with her and feels like they are more like bestfriends.
I feel so sad, we are getting married in a couple of months at the same place they got married 3 years ago, my hen do is next week. I can’t see how I can feel happy when my sister is going through this? We have a small family, I mean small family and now it feels like it has been torn apart. Its going to awful for my sister these next few months.. particularly on the wedding day as she will be reminded of her happy day . The build up to our wedding is supposed to be a happy exciting time now I just don’t want to do it.
Post # 3
Just be there for your sister- be supportive, be a shoulder to cry on if she needs it. It would be kind of you to not expect too much help from her on wedding stuff. It’s hard situation for everyone but the best thing you can do it be there when she needs you.
Post # 4
I am sure that your sister wants you to be happy. Be as sensitive as you can, but also do not let this take away your happiness.
Post # 5
Im going through the EXACT same thing -felt like a bomb dropped on my entire life yesterday – only its my 2 oldest/closest friends instead of sister. But both of them were supposed to be important members of my wedding party, and both of them are still being supportive and wanting to be involved in our wedding, but wishes the other wasn’t even going to be there.
Dont let anyone tell you its selfish to be sad and upset for the effect this will have on you – as long as you have some perspective and know that as hard as it is for you, its even harder for her.
My friend still actually wants to go to a Bridal Expo with me this weekend – I begged her to be SURE she wasn’t just trying to be nice, but she explained that she WANTS to be able to put her time and attention on something happy and not on her or her divorce. Maybe your sister will feel the same, and you can feel good about being a nice distraction for her. Or if she doesn’t feel that way, you’ll just have to be patient and understanding.
Theres very little in the way of rights and wrongs when it comes to dealing with things that are this heavy and emotional. Just do your best, and vent when you need to.
Post # 6
Hello and thanks for taking the time to reply. I guess I am just in shock, it was the furthest thing from my mind. I always look up to them and as our family is very small (dad died two years ago) my bro in law was extremely important figure in my wedding day. I do feel in shock. Its going to have a huge inpact in all our lives – im so sad for my sister. How can i be happy these next couple of months when I know she will be in pain. I didnt want it to be like this- silly I know as I am pretty sure my sister didnt either, but you know what i mean.
Its horrible as we were getting married at the same venue as it was special to us because they were married there and my dad was also alive at the time. Is it normal that I dont know I want to get married there now?
Post # 7
I think it’s normal to be a little shy about getting married there since you’re tying the bad memories to it now, but it was a moment of happiness with your whole family. I think that your sister is genuinely happy for you and if it was me, I would want you to get married there since it’s about your dad being there. That way you can remember your dad. Just focus on that, and not how their marriage has ended.
It’s really sad that they’re getting a divorce, and it’s a big change for them, but it’s also a big change for you and your family. So it’s okay to be upset, and it’s natural to be upset. Just be there for your sister, and I think that would be all she needs. It’s really strong of her to still want to be so involved, and so I wouldn’t taint anything with the divorce. Just genuinely be hapy when you’re doing stuff for your wedding and if she becomes sad, then comfort her.