(Closed) Wedding in less than 4 months..

posted 6 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
1715 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Have you figured out what you can afford? If so put it to them what you can afford and if they want anything else theyll fork it out or it will to your budget friendly plans. Also the grooms family pays for more than the honeymoon. Take out the etiquette books and get them to pay for everything you can.

Post # 4
Member
1844 posts
Buzzing bee

Weddings do not HAVE to be super expensive. It is my personal opinion that it is crazy to go in debt over one day of your life. If your family is having trouble paying for x y and z then don’t have them. This is not a great economy, people are loosing thier jobs all over the place and people understand that. But I don’ tknow if that is really the answer you are looking for from me.

Unfortunately there are no scholarships or grants for weddings. If you can’t pay for it then you need to be honest with them, and with your self. “We really want to have this wedding and invite everyone and have put so much planning in to it so far but we think it just isn’t what we can afford at this point in our lives we are sorry” If it is a show for their family then their family should pay. There is no sence doing something you don’t want to do.

Just my opinion.

and the same goes for the honey moon “Thank you for offering us your timeshare, but we really can’t afford the trip and the food and everything it will take to get there. This is a much more practical trip for us” you have to be willing to face the fact that they might not pay and you might be having a smaller wedding than you origionaly thought.

Post # 5
Member
1577 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

You don’t think your FI’s family would pitch in even if you guys explained the situation?  I mean, since they’re so into “putting on a show” like you said, I’d think that you telling them that the “show” could possibly be canceled would make them reach for the checkbook.  It’s not like you don’t have a legit reason.  Your father is about to lose his job– which btw, I’m really sorry to hear.  It’s gotta be rough.  Whatever happens, I hope that things turn out good for you & your FI’s day.

ETA:  The above poster is correct.  The groom’s family is traditionally supposed to pay for alcohol, bouquets & boutonnieres, and a lot of other stuff.  A lot of it is listed here.

Post # 6
Member
1715 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

So wedding rings

Grooms outfit

Marriage liscence

Officiant fee (including church rental)

Rehearsal dinner

Personal flowers for there family

Bar at the reception

Honeymoon

Brides gift

Ok that seems like it covers everything that ettiquette says the grooms side should be paying for. Hopefully this will help.

Post # 10
Member
1577 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@HeatherE209:  OMG, seriously?  Girl, you have more restraint than I do… I probably would’ve said something crazy to your FI’s mom.  What does she mean, ‘why bring it up now?’ Because the man is losing his job, that’s why!  Ugh!  I don’t know about them.. that comment has to be the dumbest thing I’ve heard today, lol.

Post # 11
Member
1577 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@HeatherE209:  The venue doesn’t have a set per person price for an open bar?

Post # 12
Member
1715 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@HeatherE209:  Well what about the wine with dinner I consider that close enough. I hope it helps reduce things a little bit for you.

Post # 15
Member
190 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

What PPs said about being honest about your limitations. If you cannot afford a 200 person affair, then be honest with them about it; with the way they are acting, I would be hard pressed to even accept money from them since it seems they would use it like some type of bargaining tool.

The following is what it takes to have a successful wedding:

Minister/JOP or officiant of your choosing

Bride

Groom

License

Witness

Everything else should go by what you can afford.

Post # 16
Member
315 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 1997

@HeatherE209:  I would must agree with what  @MelnChris:  said at least partly. I agree that all you need is –

“Minister/JOP or officiant of your choosing

Bride

Groom

License

Witness

Everything else should go by what you can afford.”

If you want to go on a cruise and you can afford it then think about getting wed by minister/JOP or officiant right before you get on the ship. Forget about a wedding celebration and focus on the marriage.

However if you think that you “must” do as you are told. Then listen to your heart and remember you are not marrying his family, you are marrying him. His family with deal with it. Have the wedding you can afford and gives you the feeling of being joined to your Fiance forever.

Take it from me. No matter how small or huge the wedding ceremony is, all that really matters is that you love one another and plan for forever. I have never had a bride or groom tell me that they didn’t feel married after I performed the ceremony. So I take that after so many years as a good sign. I believe the unity of wedlock does not decrease or increase with the quantity of guests or the money spent.

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