Post # 1
Hi everyone. This is a serious vent.
My wedding is in three days. It is being held at my parents home. When I asked my parents if it was ok they were happy and felt honored. In the past 3 months they’ve started SOOO many HUGE projects (none of which I asked them to do, I liked our house the way it was). This week we’re getting ready for the wedding and my mom just started venting how much of a hassle this is and how she never wanted to have the wedding here. I’m essentially and idiot for wanting to do this. My dad is being better about it, but difficult as well criticizing everything.
It makes me really sad. If they didn’t want to have the wedding here, I would have been totally ok with it- and they know it. It’s gotten out of control because of them, I had a simple wedding planned at they are turning it into a circus.
I appreciate everything they have done, but I have been here doing it with them. I know this is a lot of work, but my mom just really hurt me. I don’t even want to get married at this point.
Do any of you ever feel like people are just making things harder? (My dad just added 6 people to the guest list meaning I have to re-do ALL the escort cards as well). I just feel overwhelmed. Thanks everyone for listening.
Post # 3
That sucks! But before you get your feelings too hurt, were your mom’s comments a one time thing, or have they been going on for a while? Because if it was just once, or at least if it only started just now, your mom might just be stressed and venting and didn’t really mean what she said. Not that that excuses her for saying hurtful things, but maybe she’s just worried too?
Maybe when you guys have a quieter moment, you can mention that she really hurt your feelings, and reiterate that you never meant to cause them stress/trouble and would’ve gone out of your way to make them happy and appreciate everything, but they are making you awfully sad.
I’m guessing (hoping?) that that will get things out in the open. Good luck anyway *hugs*
Post # 4
- Wedding: February 2009 - Small church ceremony with mountain-view log cabin reception
Weddings are so stressful for all parties involved. As the actual day approaches, your parents are probably feeling the pressure and I’m sure they want things to be perfect for YOU! 🙂 It may not seem like it now, but I’m sure the day of your wedding you’ll all be on the same page and focused on one thing- your marriage!
Early congrats, btw- three days!
Post # 5
- Wedding: September 2008 - A tiny town just outside of Glacier National Park
Good Lord yes I empathize with you here. All we’re trying to do is throw a freakin party and it’s a damn celebration, right? We’ve been very chill about the whole thing and quite flexible, but I cannot BELIEVE the drama that OTHER PEOPLE bring to the table. I have been shocked at the hurt and disappointment caused to both Mr. CP and I by "loving" relatives. We’re doing this as much for them as for us! We’re NOT requiring ANYTHING of them. What the hell happened to being supportive? YES I feel like other people just make things harder. All the dang time. Ugh.
Post # 6
This is a time of high emotions for everyone. I’m sorry you’re going through this so close to your wedding day. I have a friend who stopped speaking to her mother the night before her wedding because of stuff like this, and did not speak to her again until she got pregnant with her first child a year later. People forget when they are talking to family that they should still be kind and courteous, especially under these circumstances.
Post # 7
I think the most important thing to remember here is that this is about you and your fiance committing to start a life together. The wedding is neat and all, and should be a good time and a fun party, but that’s not really what it’s about. Stop and take a deep breath, think about your fiance, maybe go cuddle with him, and remember that the details just aren’t that important.
Post # 8
I hope my daughter doesn’t read this but planning a wedding on a budget, and it has gone way over, has been at best, like an emotional roller coaster. One day everything is fine, the next all Hell breaks loose. We have had more tears this last 6 months than ever before.
I am a mother and I have said things that when stressed I wish I hadn’t. I have a wonderful daughter who is deserving of all great things in life but when Plan A doesn’t work out she doesn’t know how to receive Plan B. Sometimes God’s Plan A is Plan B! She freaks for a while so we all get out of her way. We have all said things we regret when the pressure is on. All of us. I remember my mother in law when her kids were coming into town would clean for days and be exhausted and say, "I wish they weren’t even coming". I know she didn’t mean it but she was truly stressed and tired. Mom’s wear out faster when there is stress. And part of some people’s venting process is a flow of hurtful words. I bet anything her words haunt her at night and it brings tears to her eyes before she goes to sleep. Give her a big hug and talk to her. Tell her how proud you are of her that she is doing this for you.