Post # 1
So I have a small delimma and I wanted to get the opinions of others on this!
How did you all go about your plus ones? I have a lot of friends and family member who have long term siginifacnt other whom which some ar eliving with and some aren’t. Those siginificant others have been around so long that I have befreinded them myself. Therefore they are obviously invited!
But, there are some friends amd family members of ours who seem to have anew significant other all of the time. We don’t really want our big day to be filled with a lot of people we don’t even know so how would you all go about this?
I know a lot of people say everyone gets a plus one or no one but I feel like that can be a tricky situation.
Another instance I have is families who the teenage children live with their parents soon but have significant others of a couple years or more. Would most of you all allow that siginificant other to go, or just family only?
Post # 2
Most everyone at our wedding was married/engaged/long term relationship where we were friends with both people, but the few singles we did invite they all got a plus one. Some brought someone, some didn’t, but I’m a believer that a guest should get the option of a +1.
Post # 3
We have a 3 point rule for plus ones: 1) they need to be engaged/married or 2) living together or 3) we know the couple well. So no one is allowed to have a new partner invited unless we’ve met them before and have had in depth conversations (what we consider “knowing” someone). Otherwise it gets out of hand, and it’s too much. We made that rule for everyone- friends and family. For children, unless the child is my friend and I am inviting the parents as a courtesy, they don’t get a plus one.
For the invites, ours say “we’ve reserved ___ seats for you!” To give way to how many people are invited per address. So married/living together couples get an envelope and invitation addresses to both of them, while dating gets addressed to our primary friend and they can write in their partners name. Same goes with families, so if we only reserved two seats for “The Johnson’s” then it means only Mom and dad; whereas reserving 3 seats means little Billy can come to.
Hope that helps!
Post # 4
Inviting the established partner of a guest isn’t giving that guest a plus one- its inviting partners as a unit. So it is ok, required imo, to invite your friend’s husband with her- and this does not mean that you have to give your single aunt a plus one.
How would I handle it? I’ve only had one or two family members to ever have that problem, so I would probably just give them plus ones. If I had several I would consider not doing this, but under the reasoning of I’m not going to pay to avoid pissing someone off just because they are related. Friends are a litter trickier. I can’t pick who my uncle is, but I can pick my friends and the way I look at it picking them is validation to some extent. It would be annoying to have to invite everyone’s flavor of the week, but by not inviting them I’m making a statement that I don’t recognize that relationship. True as it may be, is that a statement that you’re prepared to make? If a friend has a new bf every three months, then I don’t think it is unreasonable to not recognize that as a serious relationship. At the same time if someone refused to recognize my relationship I would sever any non-business contact with that person, and I definitely wouldn’t show up. We are also having a small wedding, so adding all of these might add 3 or 4 people as opposed to 50 people.
So, for the flavor of the weeks- I don’t think it is unreasonable to not invite them, but if you don’t be prepared for declines and lost friends.
As far as the teenagers still living at home- Are you inviting the teenager or the parents primarily? If the teenager is the “real” guest then invite their SO. If the teenager is really a guest of the parents, then no your guest’s guest does not get a guest. I would say if you would send the teenager their own invitation if they were not living at home, then invite their SO.
Post # 5
We invited everyone’s SO. I actually had several guests thank me for including thier partner. I wanted everyone to have the best time possible so of course I let them bring thier significant other. We considered no factors when deciding. If someone considered themselves in a relationship thier partner was invited.
Post # 6
xxhrcx : This is one of those topics on WB that is hotly debated and I don’t understand why. We gave our single friends a +1. No questions asked. I appreciated given the chance to bring a guest when I was single. And as a bride, who was I to judge the seriousness of others relationships?
Post # 7
Just to be clear, a “plus one” is given to a single person who is not in a relationship. Plus ones are optional. A significant other is NOT a plus one. They are invited by name as a unit, and in my opinion are not optional. If someone is in an established relationship, it is appropriate to invite their SO. It’s not really up to the bride or host to determine how worthwhile other people’s relationships are.