(Closed) Wedding Invitation Etiquette

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Given the out of country guests, you might consider sending either save the dates our the out of country invites within that time frame. For guests closer to home, however, that might be a little too early.

We’re doing ours about three months out, but none of our guests are international and we’re not doing save the dates (at least, no Save-The-Date Cards beyond an email/enote).

Post # 4
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

u should send STD’s but you can also do it via email or phone just for a heads up.


6 months is too early for invites though.

Post # 5
4336 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

PLEASE don’t send invitations out 6 months! If I were one your guests, I would be really annoyed that you are expecting me to commit to your wedding so far in advance! NO MORE than 3 months, and preferably 2, especially if you notify people someone of the date in advance. (People who are capable of planning, will plan, and people who are not capable of planning, will not, and there is no way you can change that by sending invites out extra early.)

Post # 6
735 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Six months out seems early for the guests who are in-country, but the ones who are international need to have confirmation that they will be on the guest list so they can start the appropriate paperwork.  To many people a STD doesn’t equate an invitation, they aren’t certain if they can make firm plans based on anything other than THE invitation.

You didn’t mention what country your guests are in, but depending on the international relationships between your home country and theirs they may NEED several months to get the entry documents in order (and another one to account for procrastination – both theirs and the official kind).  Plus, international airfare can fluctuate greatly, giving guests the option to purchase well in advance may ease some minds. 

You also need to consider the time it takes for international mail to travel… Earlier is better!

In this situation, there’s not anything wrong with having two mailings – it’s not like having a “B-List” – you’re simply accomodating unique circumstances.


Typically local invites go out 8 to 12 weeks before the wedding.

Post # 7
1696 posts
Bumble bee

Send a personal note now to guests who for some reason need extended advance notice. Or, if you prefer the impersonal (and, hence, less formal and less polite) modern trend, send a pre-printed save-the-date card. If you choose to go with “Save the Date” cards, be a little cautious. Once you ask someone to plan their scheduled vacation and travel around your wedding, you must follow up with a wedding invitation and may not change your mind. It is better to leave your options open and only send out minimum number of absolutely-necessar save-the-date cards.

Then, send your invitations proper at most eight weeks before the wedding.  At a minimum, you need to allow two weeks for invitation delivery and two  weeks for the replies to come back, so count back four weeks from the date at which you must have your replies in hand, and that is the latest date for mailing out invitations.

Post # 8
4582 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Here’s what I would do:

Get some inexpensive Save the Dates (look for Vistaprint deals – I got 100 postcards for under $20 shipped). Mail Save the Dates now.

Send international invites 2.5 – 3 months out.

Send local invites 1.5 – 2 months out.

Just my opinion. 🙂

Post # 9
3267 posts
Sugar bee

I agree with a personal note. 

Honestly, if I am flying to another country that requires a visa for me to enter, I am damn close to you to even consider going to your wedding.

Which means I am probably in good contact with you where I know the specifics such as date and location. 

If not, I probably am not coming, regardless of when you send an invite.

Post # 10
893 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@natotto:  My Fiance and I are also inviting family from the Philippines and India.  We’re planning to give out fake invitations to help them use for interviews for visas or whatever else they need. We’re planning to do it a year in advance (or as soon as possible) since we can’t predict how slow/soon they’ll get their approval for visas.  A friend of mine did the same thing and she said it works.

Post # 11
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Yes, all of my FI’s family have to fly in from Russia and need proof that they are going to a wedding for their visas or some such. So, I am sending them invitations nine months early, since they have communicated that they need six to eight months for their travel approval to go through. Apparently, somebody somewhere thinks that when an entire family skips out of the country, they are trying to flee to live illegally in Canada! We have to make it nice and clear that this is just for our wedding, and my handmade invitations are perfect for this. I also have to sign some sort of form.

For my side of the family that all lives in the same city as I do, I am just sending them Save-The-Date Cards at the same time.

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