Wedding Invitation Says No Meal, No Boxed Gifts, and BYOB?

posted 11 months ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1877 posts
Buzzing bee

I like your idea of gifting something that only their kid can use, if you do decide to go.

Post # 4
1094 posts
Bumble bee

First of all, love that you used the word synopsize.

But yes this seems rather odd and in pretty bad taste in my opinion. I would attend, and bring a cash present with a card but maybe like half what you might usually gift. 



Post # 5
488 posts
Helper bee

Bring a gift in a gift bag instead of a box 🙂  But I would be very put off by this as well.

Post # 6
581 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Eew. Definitely in poor taste. I am spiteful, so my original instinct is to give them cash, but put it in a small box…

In all honesty I would attend if they are good friends, take a bottle of wine to enjoy, and take them a card with cash/amazon gift card in it. It is what it is.

Post # 7
3247 posts
Sugar bee

Just decline this hot mess.  And why are they sending invites for a May wedding in November anyway?

Seriously, just decline and take the money to go out to dinner with your boyfriend or a movie or something.

Post # 8
10291 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

To repeat a cliché, host what you can afford, even if it’s just cake and punch. It’s rude to pass on costs to your guests. “No boxed gifts” is crass and glorified begging. It’s not necessary to provide a meal if the reception is not held during meal time. 

However, on your end, the idea that you should “cover your plate” has no place in etiquette. Just as this bride has no right to pass costs on to you, it is unfortunate that you think you should subsidize someone’s lavish affair ahead of people who can’t afford a big wedding. 

Your budget and the closeness of the relationship are the only proper guidelines.

Post # 9
2433 posts
Buzzing bee

this is way beyond bad taste. I’d decline

Post # 10
8103 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

callmekitty :  Yeah, that’s pretty shitty. If it’s someone I love who is usually decent, I would probably overlook the shittiness, give them a card with $50, and try to keep a positive attitude about the wedding. If it’s someone I don’t care all that much about, I would RSVP no and leave it at that.

Post # 11
1015 posts
Bumble bee

I wouldn’t go. If she is a really good friend of yours,  Amazon Prime her some wine and call it a day. That’s all an invitation like that deserves. 

Post # 12
1900 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

withluv :  agree 100%, love that idea of priming them some wine!

callmekitty :  your friend is tacky as F. I would have  important events I “had” to attend the day of her wedding and the multiple showers her greedy self will undoubtably want..

Post # 13
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

I would either decline all together or do as you mentioned and provide a gift card that would need to be used for the daughter. I can understand wanting to have a wedding even if you can’t really afford to do so but passing the cost off on your guests is a big no no. 

Post # 14
2886 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

I’d decline to attend because it sounds like it’s going to be a disorganized mess of an event, and then I’d give them a gift card to a restaurant or couples spa treatment or something because they’ll be annoyed they were gifted an experience instead money and I’m petty like that.

Post # 15
3191 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

MiniMeow :  lol they’d probably sell it on that gc exchange site.

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