- 2 weeks ago
Hi, all! To synopsize, my friend is getting married. The future bride and groom definitely do not have a lot of money, so they’ve made a few attempts to cut corners. At first, they were going to have a backyard wedding, early reception and serve brunch and mimosas. Right before the invitations went out, they decided that boyfriends and girlfriends were not allowed to attend the ceremony (my boyfriend was actually very pleased about this). The other day, I received an invitation in the mail… and it states: “Snacks with reception. BYOB. No boxed gifts, please.” … And I hate to admit it, but I’m a touch offended. Is it just me, or does this scream “We’re not willing (or are not able to) to spend money on the wedding, but we expect you to. And we expect that you give us cash”?
Also, I generally either gift money or I contribute to the bar for a wedding gift. When gifting money, I take into consideration how much the meals cost, whether it’s an open bar, and then add extra for the actual gift part. For this wedding though, there’s no meal, no cocktails etc, no dance floor, no entertainment (besides music playing from a laptop)… So, really, it’s just 50 people mingling in a backyard in May (in Canada, so I’m a tad concerned about the weather), at 12:00 noon.
The fact that a newly-wed couple would appreciate cash goes without saying… but it should *go without saying*. No one I have spoken to yet has ever seen an invitation like this — maybe the “no boxed gifts” part, but not along with no meal and BYOB.
Part of me (the spiteful part) feels as though I should send them a gift in advance, such as a voucher to make a case of wine so that they actually have wine to serve to their guests, but the BYOB part is already on the invitations. The other (more spiteful) part of me wants to give them $100.00 gift card to a children’s clothing store so that they at least have to spend the money on their daughter. If I put cash in the card, the groom will probably just spend it on cigarettes! 🙁
Sorry to have ranted at you… thoughts, anyone? I don’t want to get carried away with my spite-thoughts, but, esssentially, they are paying next to nothing for their own wedding (a friend is doing the photography for free; a friend is doing the decorating for free, no venue to pay for etc). At this point, they seem to be planning this wedding to make money.
Please help — because this is starting to make my head hurt! Thank you in advance!