Wedding Invitation Says No Meal, No Boxed Gifts, and BYOB?

posted 2 weeks ago in Etiquette
Post # 76
Member
495 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

macpartyoftwo :  Right!  Like they are throwing the wedding they can afford.  I hate that peopel think weddings need to be super stuffy and that you HAVE to spend a ton of money.  Sounds to me like they would be better off without such a judgy friend.

Post # 77
Member
119 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Ladies, this invitation has nothing to do with being stuffy or needing to spend a lot of money. Mentioning gifts is RUDE. You are assuming you are expecting a gift. BYOB is rude too – opens you up to a huge liability. I have zero issue with casual weddings – but this wedding is a clear case of “How little money can we put out and still get stuff?” Invites in November for May? Something is wrong here. People with long term boyfriends or girlfriends get to bring a date.  I would want to attend this shitshow just to see how tacky it is appearing to be!!!  LOL!  And before anyone thinks I broke the bank trying to impress with our recent wedding, we hosted 42 people, spent a tad over $2500 with yummy food and drink in a beautiful resturant, it was an afternoon wedding.

To say “light snacks?”  Jesus Mary and Joseph I have heard it all:  “Swing through Chick Fil A on your way here to eat, stop at MGM liquors for a cold six pack then stop at the ATM for our cash gift.”  Decline decline decline.

A wedding they can afford would be for six people – AND THAT IS FINE!!  Have a tasteful affair for six people, not a carny act for a hundred.

Post # 78
Member
153 posts
Blushing bee

I don’t know, maybe I’m more open to understanding a couple’s situation and can appreciate that they want to celebrate within their budget instead of starting their marriage in debt just to impress people. In fact, backyard BYOB sounds like the kind of thing I’d be happy to attend. Throw some money in a card, wish them well, chill out and actually be able to drink something I like? Sounds freaking awesome to me. Spare the couple your shitty attitude and don’t go.

Post # 79
Member
119 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

No one wants them to go into debt. No one wants them to throw a huge affair if they want informal backyard wedding. Great!! My cup of cocoa, too!! But…….don’t ask for gifts, do NOT ask for cash in a sideways manner and don’t ask people to bring their own liquor. You just don’t. Not to a wedding – a Memorial Day BBQ? Yes. Wedding?  No.

Post # 80
Member
153 posts
Blushing bee

minnesotabride17

Says who, exactly? “Etiquette” is not “law.” People can do whatever the fuck they want to do, and they can celebrate their marriage in whatever they want. You don’t need to attend. People act like they are forced to attend these things and then proceed to bitch about the couple behind their back because it’s not up to their standard. That’s fucked up.

Post # 81
Member
119 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

deannamarie :  Wow if sitting next to you and that vulgar mouth you have…..no problem, I will stay home.  I was open to reading other comments but once the F bomb starts getting dropped….. Mic drop  – MinnesotaBride17 is out.  

Post # 82
Member
85 posts
Worker bee

Oh no! The f-bomb D:

I don’t think there is anything wrong with BYOB, and in fact where I’m from it’s a common occurrence for weddings to have BYOB. It’s more preferable than a cash bar. With that being said, having a backyard BBQ with actual FOOD is not that expensive… Snacks? Really? And “please just bring me money”? No. Nope. All kinds of no. Rice and mashed potatoes with some BBQ chicken is very affordable and filling. There is no excuse for this money-grab event to not be good hosts for their guests

Post # 83
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2018

byob and no meal?  So basically a Sam’s Club box of pretzel and chips?  Yeah, no.  Do not waste your time attending this.  If they can’t be bothered to google simple etiquette, then I highly doubt they will even have enough chairs for all the guests.  Send a small gift like less than $20 and move on. 

Post # 84
Member
4081 posts
Honey bee

fuckity fucking fuck fuck in the fucking fucker’s fucked up fuckfuck. FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Post # 85
Member
8878 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Again, etiquette has absolutely nothing against a wedding without a full meal, unless the timing is such that it would be appropriate. One is supposed to invite those who deserve to be there and plan accordingly based on budget. There’s nothing tacky about a cake and punch reception and not everyone invites uncommitted couples. 

However, BYOB is tacky. The exception would be if friends or a church group was hosting.

Asking for money is rude. You host an event to offer hospitality, not because you are thinking of gifts and not because people should be funding your lifestyle. 

Post # 86
Member
153 posts
Blushing bee

minnesotabride17 :  Oh noes, the stranger on the  internet doesn’t like my vulgar mouth! HOW WILL I GO ONNNN???? 

 

Quite fucking happily, actually. Lol. 💁🏻‍♀️ 

 

Post # 87
Member
327 posts
Helper bee

If you want your wedding to be remembered as a tacky affair at which you not-so-subtly asked for cash only gifts and asked your guests to bring their own booze to celebrate, then go right ahead. But people will talk about the tacky affair for years to come. In fact, my brother attended a backyard BYOB “shoes optional” potluck wedding years ago and its still one of my favourite absurd wedding stories to share.  

No meal? No problem. No booze? No problem. Don’t want gifts? No problem. It’s your wedding, do it how you want to. But don’t ask your guests to provide the alcohol and specify what they can or can’t give you as a gift. That’s just plain rude.

Post # 88
Member
119 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

deannamarie :  Your point could have been made quite well without the profanity.  Just sayin….

Post # 89
Member
64 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I dont understand the people outright saying ‘Dont go’. How weak of you.

The event is theirs and is not being built on everyone else’s likes and dislikes. If you are really their friend then whether they have a full function room with canapes and a three course meal or a BBQ in the backyard shouldnt matter.y Yes, some things they are doing are a little odd, however it is their event. I wont let the internet and tradition dictate how I plan my event. I am not a sheep.

Id be very disheartened if a friend of mine did not come because of anything other than a real reason (they are very ill etc). If a friend declines because its not a good enough event and maybe they took something I wrote the wrong way… well their actions speak for themselves

Post # 90
Member
304 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

cosimaskye :  I’m telling op not to go because they didn’t invite her so. To me, that’s a valid reason to decline a wedding. 

Leave a comment


Get our weekly roundup of the best of Weddingbee.
I agree to receive emails from the site. I can withdraw my consent at any time by unsubscribing.

Find Amazing Vendors