(Closed) Wedding invitation wording!

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
30393 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

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crazedbride2017:  It is not considered polite to indicate who is NOT invited on an invitation.

The situation is dealt with by naming those who ARE invited on the envelope ( outer, inner or both).

Many couples choose to try to further clarify by indicating that 2 people are invited by using the wording below

but this can backfire when an invited guest can’t attend and the other person decides to bring a friend or other relative in their stead. Some purists will say that even this wording is not polite, that you are assuming your guests cannot understand that the invitation is for only those named.

In the end, you will probably have some people who will cross out the number you have written and plan to bring their children. You will have to deal with them individually.

“There must have been a misunderstaning. The invitation was for __ and __. We are unable to accomodate the children. If that means you will be unable to attend, we will miss you at the wedding.”

If guests contact you before the rsvp date and inquire about the children, use the same wording. If you try to give a reason, such as the venue cannot seat any more guests, they will go into problem-solving mode and suggest that the child can sit on their lap. Do not give them that opportunity. Just say you are sorry, but it is not possible.

ETA

It is not polite to include a reference to a registry of any sort on a wedding invitation. Doing so, would be saying to your guests, “we expect you to get us a gift and this is what we want”.

It is acceptable to include registry information on a shower invitation as showers are all about gifts. Given that you are having a honeyfund, a shower may be irrelevant.

You can include the honeyfund information on your website. Other than that, if you don’t have a registry, your guests are likely to assume you want cash, and give you a check. In that case, you come out ahead, as there is no fee witheld by Honeyfund from their donation.

 

Post # 3
Member
4575 posts
Honey bee

I’m not listing out the six parentals, so mine say, “Together with their families, ____ and ____ request…”

There’s no good way to say no children. Etiquette says not to put it anywhere within the invitation suite, but some people do. Some people post it on their website. I personally think the reserved seats language backfires more than it works. But regardless, you will have to address specific situations individually. Jules gave you perfect language. Nonetheless, I would start spreading the word that you are having a childfree wedding, particularly among family. If your parents are sane, they can be good allies in this effort.

And dealing with specific situations won’t just apply to children. People are idiots when it comes to wedding invites and RSVPs. You’ll have to deal all kinds of craziness. Just remember it is your wedding and the language, “I’m sorry, but we are unable to accomodate _____.” And stay firm.

It’s also considered bad form by many to include registry and honeymoon information in the invitation suite but some people put in an extra car or include it on an information card with other items. You can also put it on your website. Or people will Google or ask you.

Post # 4
Member
269 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016 - Galleria Marchetti

Will you in-laws care about who gets named first? You could always write Mr. and Mrs. John Smith invite you to the wedding of their daughter Mary Katherine to Robert David Jones son of Mr. and Mrs. David Jones and Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Johnson…. That way everyone gets named. Ours is mostly us paying with some help from my dad. I didn’t care either way, so ours say Together with their Parents.

Definitely don’t include your registry info in your invitation suite. As far as kids, if you are doing inner/outer envelopes that solves that issue, but I think it’s a waste. We just recieved an invite that on the reception insert it said “We love your children, but cannot accomodate them at the reception”. First time I’d seen anything like that, but its blunt and to the point. If you’re doing a wedding website that’s a great place to include both registry info and any other pertinent info ie. no kids, unplugged ceremony, etc.

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