(Closed) Wedding Invitation Wording-Host? Deceased parent & stepmother, FI no parents

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Whose names should be on the invitations?
    Bride and Groom Only as hosts : (9 votes)
    60 %
    Bride's dad & current wife and late wife (my mom) and no fiance's parents : (1 votes)
    7 %
    Bride's dad & late wife (my mom) only : (3 votes)
    20 %
    Bride's dad & current wife only : (2 votes)
    13 %
  • Post # 4
    Member
    668 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    Why not say “together with their families”? That way your dad and mom are obviously included (even if in spirit) and no one gets offende for being left off?

    Post # 5
    Member
    1902 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I second the previous suggestion. It’s not unusual to see an invite saying something like “[Bride’s name] and [Groom’s name], together with their families, are delighted to invite [Guest name] to their wedding.”

    It’s entirely your decision and no one really can disagree with what you and your fiance are comfortable with/want to put on the invites to your wedding.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1917 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    I know this is a little sensitive, but since your mother has passed it’s a little odd for her to be inviting people to your wedding.  If you want to include the names of parents I would list your father and stepmother, but it sounds like it would be easier to just list you and your fiance’s names.

    You should recognize your mother during the ceremony or in the programs.  It will be very meaningful. 

     

    Post # 8
    Member
    261 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @jocrazy:  While I don’t have an identical situation we have a similarish one, so I’m going to use the general guidelines we used and give it a shot for you and see what you think:

    [Your first and middle name]

    the daughter of

    [Your dad’s first name] and the late [Your Mom’s first name] [Your parent’s last name]  

    and

    [Your fiance’s full name]

    request the honor of your presence at their marriage (if you’re having a church wedding)

    OR

    invite you to share in the joy
    when they exchange marriage vows
    and begin their new life together


    [Follow with the rest of the details]

     

     

    I think you can defintely have everyone you want/need to have on your invite in a way that makes sense to you all.  My FI’s father passed away a few years ago and his Mom isn’t contributing any money to our wedding, but we felt it was important to have them on our invite so we did.  I think by adding the daughter of before your name you’re not obligated to add your step-mom’s name.  I hope this helps!

    Post # 9
    Member
    7710 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    @jocrazy:  Like the previous poster, I do not want to appear insensitive, but it would not be right to list your mom as a host. It might be confusing and uncomfortable for those receiving the invitations.

    Regarding your dad as host, giving a gift towards to cost of the wedding is not necessarily the same as hosting. If you do consider it hosting, unless he and his wife keep completely separate finances, the money was actually from both of them. So if you want to include him as a host, I feel you would also need to include her. 

    He might not even be expecting you to list him as host. What if you mock up some invitations listing just you and the groom, and bring them over (in person) to ask his opinion on them? That way you can see if he seems surprised or disappointed. It would be a good opportunity to explain exactly what you’ve written here: none of the traditional phrases works for your unique situation. If you’re having programs, you could mention his generous contribution on there, and you could also give a toast at the reception thanking him and also honoring your mom.

    Best wishes!

    Post # 10
    Member
    7710 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    @VtoM:  Brilliant, this is a great idea!

    Post # 11
    Member
    2497 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @jocrazy:  

    The honor of your presence (or “pleasure of your company,” if you’re not getting married in a church)

    is requested at the marriage of

    Bride’s Name

    and

    Groom’s Name

    [Insert date]

    at [insert time of wedding and time of day]

    [Insert name of the location of the wedding]

    [Insert city and state]

    Reception to follow 

    ETA: I like PP’s suggestion of adding “daughter of [Father’s name] and [Deceased mother’s name]” after the bride’s name. However, I think it might draw too much attention to the lack of the groom’s parent’s names on the invitation. Up to you.

    Post # 12
    Member
    1734 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I think that @VtoM: has a great suggestion. If that highlights the absence for your fiance, though…is there ANY family of his that will be attending to support? In that case “together with their families” wouldn’t be a lie, and it would be awfully nice.

    Post # 14
    Member
    108 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    due to marriages/remarriages/tense relationships my fiance and I decided “screw em” and our wording will be as follows

     

    PLEASE JOIN US IN PARADISE AS 

    NAME

    and

    NAME

    CELEBRATE THEIR MARRIAGE

    DATE

    at TIME

    LOCATION

    LOCATION

    LOCATION

     

     

    RECEPTION TO FOLLOW

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