(Closed) Wedding invite before shower invitation”

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1235 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@cruzan1978: No I would say that it is expected to get the invite first, especially in a short engagement. 

Post # 4
81 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I didn’t send out my wedding invites until after my shower. I felt like it was screaming “here are all the things you have to get me stuff for” to send them so close together. Now I know gifts are not required for any wedding event but people do buy gifts generally. But my bachelorette invites certainly went out after everything.

Post # 6
109 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’ve received wedding invitations before shower invitations. I didn’t mind it. I definitely told my Maid/Matron of Honor not to send out shower invites before my wedding invites went out first. I’m sure I had some reasoning behind it, but I can’t remember now.

Post # 7
1199 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@cruzan1978: When my sister got married 2 years ago, she wanted to send out her wedding invitations SUPER early (ie like 4 months before the wedding) because she didn’t send out Save-The-Date Cards.  My mom convinced her to at least wait until her shower invitations went out.  If you can wait a few weeks or ask your Maid/Matron of Honor to send out the shower invites this week that would probably work…

Post # 8
4336 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’ve gotten them in both orders… I just assume that if I get the shower invite first, I will be getting the wedding invite soon. and it I get a wedding invite, then I know that I *might* be getting a shower invite.

Post # 9
693 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Ha! I was “invited” to a friend of a friend’s shower…via facebook, where her bff (and my close friend, one of my BMs actually, but two different circles) lost all addresses that she had us inbox her. She asked for them again, via facebook/text. After all that, I still never received an invitation to the shower. As it turned out, my daughter was sick so I couldn’t go..and then my friend text me the next day how rude it was that I didn’t show. I never rsvp’d because I wasn’t invited!!! I did not receive an invitation to the wedding either. Coincidence?

Ha, today, as it turns out, my friend and I were texting back and forth about my Save-The-Date Cards. She says she is coming to my Destination Wedding and bringing that friend of hers. I was like, really….I guess she is your plus 1? Because I didn’t invite her. Or anyone, yet. And then she started in on how I was invited to the shower/wedding.

It just put a bad taste in my mouth that I was “invited” to the shower, but then not the actual wedding. Of course via fb I saw that the wedding invites went out way after the shower. So… it seemed little gift grabby.

What was the topic? I rant during pms! Sorry! I say send out any/all invites no matter what has or has not been completed.



Post # 10
376 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I dont think I have ever paid attention to which one i get first if you want my honest opinion! do whatever works!!! 🙂

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