(Closed) Wedding Invite Ettiquette

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
971 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Honestly. If you really can’t fit them. Then you will just need to sit down and be honest with them about it. 

 

EDIT Now having said that, my guest list is also tight, so I sent out the must invites early to see if I could get some RSVPs back before I started inviting other guests to make sure everyone would fit nicely. Could you try something like that?

Post # 5
Member
1284 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I think the idea the PP said is a good one. I feel like once you verbally invite someone you really need to follow through with an actual invite. 

Post # 6
Member
2281 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

B-list them.

We’re doing this, and it’s going to let us invite several people we might not be able to otherwise.

Get invites out as soon as is reasonable. Set a short span for rsvps to come in (really, does anyone need more than a few weeks to decide?). Have a second set of rsvps with a second date (our A list date is May 10, our B list date is June 1). Once we know how many spaces we’ll have, we can bump up some B list people and send them invites. Most of them will never have a clue. Anyone who does figure it out will, we hope, understand that our small wedding forced us to put some distant family over close friends but that we’re thrilled to be able to have them. 

Post # 7
Member
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I can not believe there are A and B lists.  I have one list that fits in my budget.  when we put together our list it was family first and then invite our friends.  but don’t ya think if two rsvp dates some ppl will talk.  Some ppl will talk and figure out.  

Post # 8
Member
326 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Ugh – I did something similar to this….. I had an awkward conversation with a girl I work with and I didn’t actually say I was inviting her, but I implied that I would love to have her there…… dum da dum – when it came time to send out the invites, i didn’t want to send out more and end up with too many people…… so i thought about doing a B list.  Here’s the problem though….. first off, only 8 people that we invited aren’t coming – and also, i did NOT receive any NOs for like the first 4 weeks… and by that point it was too late.  I feel like the NO responses don’t come until the end for some reason…… anybody else find this to be true?  All I kept getting for the first month were YESes.

Post # 10
Member
326 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@tkhbride:  

No – but she said something to sombody else (who did get invited because I am good friends with her) and she just said that she knows I can’t invite everyone and that she understands, etc.  I never really brought it up with her and she still asks me about wedding plans, etc.  I try not to talk about my wedding too much at work, but it’s hard because I’ve worked there for 11 years – so I am pretty good friends with a lot of coworkers. 

I was really surprised by how blatant some people can be.  People I’m not even friendly with at work would say things to me like – ARE YOU INVITING ME TO THE WEDDING?  Or – I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE YOU ON YOUR WEDDING DAY.  And it’s like – how do you answer those comments?  I would usually just smile and say something like – well we are having a small wedding and we haven’t even finished our guestlist yet.  I mean, it’s so uncomfortable! 

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