Wedding invite received after RSVP deadline

posted 4 months ago in Guests
Post # 46
283 posts
Helper bee

whnlz :  Nope. Not that weren’t in a huge equal ring, ie all 45 cousins, all 22 aunts/uncles, etc.

If I didn’t care about you enough to invite you in the first place and budget for it, I’m not going to do so as an afterthought. Maybe that’s just how I was raised. My mom would get angry when she got invited along to anything at the last minute as said afterthought.

Post # 47
3026 posts
Sugar bee

mrsl3un9 :  If it bothers both of you that much then rsvp no. If you’re both bothered but to the point that you can get over it then rsvp yes. Although some people will decline at this point (understandable) I would personally just go. 

Post # 48
8016 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

littlemisshostess :  $500 per person?!?!?!?  Did Bobby Flay or Emeril cater your wedding? 

Post # 49
2412 posts
Buzzing bee

Yes B list are preceived as rude but I think this perception really needs to change. I understand that it sucks to know that you were not #1 on their list but that’s life.  If they didnt consider you friends they wouldn’t be paying to entertain you in the first place.  Having gone through wedding planning I understand how budgets and guest list work. There are people that you want to invite but some things you can not help as a host.  

1 The size of your venue – Venues have limits.  They may have invited enough people to fill the venue and due to people RSVPing no they were able to invite more people on their list.  


2- Budget – weddings are expensive.  And they may not have been able to afford the possibility of everyone RSVPing yes

Then there is always the chance that your invite got returned in the mail and she is just now resending it.   It happened to me on about 5 invites.  It took about 3+ weeks for them to come back to me and by then the RSVP date was only 5 days away.  So I printed up new RSVP cards giving them an extra 3 weeks to respond.  Either decline or attend, its on you.  It sounds like they are trying to include you. 

Post # 50
1720 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

mrsl3un9 :  don’t go bee. Don’t gift. It’s a last minute fill seat gift grab. 

Post # 51
1037 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Khatleesi :  If you really want that many people, then yes, you have to budget accordingly.  Cake and punch is perfectly appropriate – you don’t have to have a fancy meal.  

Post # 52
1037 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

italianbride0508 :  Of course it was feasible to invite them – you just CHOSE not to and you want to make excuses for it.  

How could the venue possibly be an issue?  You figure out the guest list and then you choose an appropriate venue.

As for budget, no, it’s not a real issue.  Again, you figure out how many people you want to host, then you figure out how to host them.  If that’s 50 people for lobster, great!  If that’s 300 people for cake and punch, great!

But don’t try to pretend that you’re limited by things that are anything other than your “vision” of how your day should be.

Post # 53
1037 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

wolfeyes :  Yes exactly – “there had to be a limit.”  So, you limit your initial guest list to the people you really want to be there.  Then invite the other losers later.

ETA:  I know you weren’t saying that you personally were doing this.  I’m just saying it’s not a good excuse in general.

Post # 54
33 posts
  • Wedding: November 2017

fredthebasil :  yea 300 ppl to come have cake and punch. Seriously. 

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