Post # 1
Question: my parents are hosting our October wedding at the ranch. They are paying for the reception food, bar, and location rental. My fiancee and I are buying our attire, paying for the DJ, and flowers. My fiancee’s parents are hosting the rehearsal dinner. How do we word our invites?
Post # 3
I’m guessing if you’re thinking of saying something like, "Cowgirlbride and Mr. Cowgirlbride, together with their parents request…"
Well your parents are paying for the wedding, so they definitely count. I don’t believe the groom’s parents paying for the rehearsal dinner gives them the nod to be listed as paying for the wedding. Their event (RD) isn’t part of the event on the invitation (reception). But you’d probably like to officially thank them at the Rehearsal Dinner, in front of the Rehearsal Dinner guests.
To be honest, I don’t think that you paying for your attire, Dj and flowers, should entitle you to be listed as the hosts of the wedding. I paid for almost half of my wedding, but the invitations were listed as my parents hosting. "Mr. and Mrs. John Doe, request the honor of your presence as their daughter, Tanya will be…" This was mostly because we’re a bit more traditional, most of what they paid for had to do with the reception itself, and I think it honored them more. By listing all of you, I think it minimizes their contributions.
However, ultimately, I would just ask them how they feel about the wording. If they think it would be bad to leave off the groom’s parents and want to foster good relations by listing them, then go ahead and list them. Or if they are fine listing you, OK. But if they feel like paying for the lion’s share of the reception should warrant certain recognition, then I think you should honor that.
Post # 4
Right — check with your parents, as well as how you feel about the parents inviting, to see what they think. From the way you’ve described it, it sounds like they would be hosting. You can do "together with their families/ parents" or list out your parents’ names. How strongly do you and your parents feel about that tradition?
It is traditional, though, that the groom’s family pay for the Rehearsal Dinner, and like the previous poster mentioned, the deserves thanks but is not part of the wedding invitation.