Post # 1
This is more of a vent than anything. First off, I know most of this is my fault. So we moved completely across the country, my family is 2200 miles away and his is spread out all over. We decided to plan where we live, I just couldn’t do it back home because I’m so far away. Maybe I could’ve but I don’t think so. I asked all my important people and they said they 100% could come, well no now it’s just my parents. My brother won’t even be here. But my Fiance knew all of his family would be there. They all flew out for his brothers wedding with two months notice, we gave them ten (and its about the same distance from them his brothers was) and they acted so excited to come even knowing it was here. Well, that isn’t happening either. They aren’t coming for his. They didn’t RSVP either, and most have been ignoring our calls. My guest count is 14 and 6 of those are my friends. We originally planned on 40 but ended up inviting 70. I’m having to add a million things on to meet the $3k minimum. I have 6 passed appetizers, a full premium bar, 3 course meal, DJ, upgraded lighting, chivari chairs, etc. and I still need to spend $400 more. I don’t even know what else I can add. I wish we would’ve eloped. If I wouldn’t known from the beginning no one would come i wouldn’t have had to deal with all this stress planning. Or I would’ve just planned it back home. I don’t get why everyone would act so excited and promise to be here then ignore us and not even RSVP. I just want it over with already. I’m so embarrassed. It’s going to look so sad having this big room so empty. I can’t believe we wasted all this money and time.
Post # 2
Ugh that really sucks… I’m so sorry. How hurtful they can’t even tell you straight up they’re not coming. Slight (itty bitty tiny) silver lining is that this is going to be an AMAZING party for the group you do have. All the people missing out are going to be so jealous. I know that doesn’t make up for it though. Hugs.
Post # 3
Oh man does that suck!!! Sorry bee! Is it too late to book another venue or change it up? I’d say F-it and go baller with the guests who came out! Take the girls out to spa mani pedis, the guys for a clean shave, steak restaurant, hit up a lounge after for drinks in a party bus!
It doesn’t Matter that you moved. Everyone had said they’d come and ignoring your messages is just straight up rude!
Post # 4
yeah it’s too late, I’m less than two weeks out 😬 Those sound like good ideas!! My Mother-In-Law and SIL didn’t want mani pedis or anything (they aren’t very girly haha) but I’m taking my mom for them and going to get custom foundation made. I’m super excited about that.
Post # 5
I’m so sorry people bailed on you. More than that, to not even RSVP is so rude.
I hope your small affair is lovely and so extravagant.
Post # 6
I think your wedding sounds awesome! Smaller groups are often more fun in my opinion. You will have a beautiful and fun wedding and look back on the day and be happy that you did it this way 🙂
Post # 7
Are there other people you could invite from your town that you haven’t invited yet? Like co-workers or new friends you recently met? If I had just recently met someone, I wouldn’t be offended being invited so late.
Post # 8
I think you have every right to be pissed, and I don’t think it’s your fault at all. If they can’t come they can’t come, but they shouldn’t have told you they could, and they certainly shouldn’t ghost you over it. You don’t treat your own son like a bad tinder date.
And please don’t be embarrassed, nobody will judge you for how many people show up at your wedding, they’ll just see how spectacular it is and how in love you two are 🙂
Post # 9
I’ve been thinking about that but I didn’t want to seem rude. Maybe if I tell them to not bring a gift and just have fun it’d be okay?
oh I should’ve been more clear, his parents and brother are very supportive and can’t wait to be there! Its more of the extended family
Post # 10
I’m worried I’m going to be in the same boat. We’re having a destination wedding and my extended family is almost surely not coming, not even my dad is coming (but that’s a whole other story). Fiancé’s extended family on mom’s side isn’t coming and probably most of his dad’s side isn’t either. I think a fair amount of friends we invited can’t come. We never intended on it being a big wedding but it does start to suck when you realize it’s going to be too small. Our “engagement party” thrown by my family was like that. There was a tropical storm that weekend that messed up travel plans but boy was it a sad showing. Your post totally speaks to me.
Post # 11
That is so rude! But at least you get to really treat all the people that are coming!
For the minimum spend you need to reach, could your venue do a welcome signature cocktail on arrival?
When things like this happen, I find that it really helps to focus on all the wonderful, amazing people that are coming, and how you’ll get to really enjoy your day with them.
Post # 12
Yeah, I’d say totally go all out with those who are coming. And maybe invite a few extras. Just explain the situation. I think most people won’t find it rude (altough some may- you can’t please everyone).
For my wedding none of DH’s extended family came either, and they didn’t have far to travel at all. I was quite upset about it but in the end it didn’t matter at all.
Post # 13
To help reach your minimum, I would order yourself a few extra meals and just have the caterer wrap them up, bring them home for yourself and new DH, freeze and eat them when you want. Saves you a few days of cooking and you already know you’ll enjoy the food!
Post # 14
I am very sorry this is happening. Sweetie, you learn who is in your corner and who is not during wedding planning. I had 2 people ask, yes ASK for an invitation, even though I had expressed that it would be small and they never responded to the RSPV! People are so inconsiderate. My one cousin I hit up and she said she was going and then did not show. What was I going to do, slap her around if she said she was not attending?! It was annoying because there were a couple of people that would have liked to attend, and even said so after they saw wedding pics! It was totally fine in the end. I knew things would not go perfectly, so I was able to handle it all with grace and dignity. I was smiling from ear to ear in between crying tears of joy despite whatever did not go as planned!!! *For those who did not go, it showed me where they stood with me, and I am glad.*
The people who are supposed to be there, will be. Everything happens for a reason. As long as all the vendors come you will be fine. As long as the officiant is there, you can get married which is all that matters. You will have a lovely day regardless. Do not let this steal your happiness and excitement. *Totally invite additional local folks, while it is short notice most people will understand; it is free food and drink and your not asking for gifts. You can buy extra food to take home, but since people said they were coming you may already have food leftover that you will take home. Ask the venue what else you can add.*
Post # 15
That stinks, but I’m sure it will be a lovely occasion with the people that do attend.
We knew we’d be in the same situation if we had a tradional wedding. We don’t live near our families and our families don’t live near each other plus most of them are poor and can’t afford travel. We ended up just having a ceremony with our parents and two of DH’s siblings. Later, we went to my home state and had a small potluck celebration with my grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. It was still special and we’re still just as married, so mission accomplished.