Post # 16
This is terrible! Why are people so inconsiderate? I had a bunch of friends that just couldn’t be bothered to com to my wedding. I was incredibly hurt and sad. But it ended up being for the best. You will have a beautiful wedding, don’t worry! And fortunately, you’ve got the best “guest’ of all – your groom.
Post # 17
Me too girl. We can’t hit our food and beverage minimum unless we spend ~$300 per person. Not many drinkers in our bunch so just trying to do it with food and champagne has been flat out silly.
We knew all along that the number of attendees would be small since it is a destination wedding…but I guess I expected a few more family members to come out than actually ended up coming (we had some family members turn us down even though we offered to pay all their expenses to go!)
Invited: about 60
Attending: about 20 (I think that includes bride and groom)
Expected/hoped: about 30-40
My fiance keeps joking about how almost everyone who is coming is IN the wedding. It’ll be like 5 people watching everyone else up there.
Post # 18
I don’t think it would be rude at all. My sister was in a situation where people had changed their yes to no at the last minute. And so she asked if I wanted to invite a few friends. I was honest with my friends, and told them she had already paid for the seats, and would prefer to have them full rather than empty. Told them not to bring gifts, but to come have fun with us!! They ended up coming (and I think they did bring small gifts), and we had a blast!
Just be honest with them, and tell them no gifts. I would totally go!
Post # 19
I understand being disappointed that many will not or cannot attend. Travel is expensive and I’m sure there are a number of guests who would love to be there with you but just can’t make it work.
Your small, luxe wedding sounds absolutely fantastic to me. Try your best to enjoy the people who will be there. You really only need your Fiance, an officiant and a witness–you will have a great, core group of people there to celebrate with you. You will have a beautiful wedding. It is not a waste.
Post # 20
wow rarely do posts shock me but urs does. I cant believe they would miss ur big day!!! How rude!!! And to ignore your calls and whatnot!? Thats mind boggling. Moving across the country or not its pretty freakim rude to leave you stuck with a bill that could have been avoided by eloping. Id be so sad too. All i can say is just make the best of it, and after its over id be sure to let them know how u really feel. Sorry bee
Post # 21
I’m so sorry!
It sounds like it will be an amazing intimate wedding. And yes, if there’s friends or coworkers that you didn’t invite, just be honest with them and tell them the situation. My best friend’s sister invited Fiance and I a couple weeks before her wedding for the same reasons (she called us personally and then sent the invite) and we were totally fine with it and had a BLAST.
Post # 22
I think it’s very ok to invite some people last minute. I was a Bridesmaid or Best Man for a close childhood friend and she got several unexpected last-minute no’s. She asked if I wanted to invite my two sisters to come (my parents were already invited). One of them was available and came, she was seated at my table, and we had a great time! She later said how happy she was to be included, and was never insulted about not being initially invited.
Post # 23
awww, try not to think of it that way. It will be intimate, which is perfect for a wedding, and so fancy with all the add ons, I’m sure it will be absolutely beautiful! Try to think of it as a super exclusive.
Post # 24
I feel for you bee, im in a similar boat. A 50% decline rate, which is pretty bad considering my family is just 2.5 hours away. His is in MI, an hour and a half plane ride and his STILL has more RSVPS on his side. A lot of the people on my mom’s side of the invites havent even bothered to awknowledge the wedding at all. I’ve been so frustrated in this process and I feel like it really speaks about who cares about about you.
I mean maybe that a little much…but its eye opening.
I think your wedding will be beauitful with all your upgrades. Try and think of it as the people who love you most will be there. If they couldnt even politely decline the RSVP or return your phone calls..ugh screw them seriously.
Post # 25
So I had my final meeting today. I had to add SO MUCH to meet the minimum and thinking of my cost per person makes me want to cry even though overall it is less. I added a candy bar, upgraded and added more linens, chocolate covered strawberries, upgraded to their best champagne for the toast, I had already upgraded a few days ago to the premium bar instead of just cocktail hour. The sad part is, I originally planned on 4 tables and had a contract for 4 centerpieces and it’s too late now to take two of them off. I’m using one of them to have flowers on the aisle chairs during the ceremony, I switched it a few weeks ago when I thought there would be 25 people at least, but I didn’t know it would drop this low until a few days ago. And I did huge tall draping centerpieces so they weren’t cheap. So I’m waiting on a call back now to see what else I could use them for or if I can. I feel like I’ve wasted so much money.
Post # 26
What day of the week is your wedding?
Im sorry this is happening. to not RSVP/return calls is rude. don’t stress, enjoy your wedding day!
Post # 27
- Wedding: June 2018 - Vineyard Lake
This is my biggest fear! I’m sure it will happen. I really, really, really want to elope or have a super small destination wedding but my Fiance doesn’t want to do that. So now he have to shell out a bunch of money for a handful of people who will show up & totally forego a honeymoon. It hardly seems worth it to me!
So anyway, you are definitely not alone. It sucks but just try to make the most of it. It’s going to be absolutely amazing with or without all those people!
Post # 28
I would listen to your gut, I had the same feeling and wanted the same thing but my fiancé wanted a wedding. I went through all of this stress and planning, pretty much by myself, because he wanted a wedding and he realizes now that I was right but it’s too late.
it’s on a Monday evening, our reasoning was because most have to travel they’d have to take off work a day anyways. Maybe flawed logic, but I’m honestly glad we did it on a Monday now because Saturday would have been $2k more and with this many guests I would’ve cancelled completely for that price. Honestly only one person has told me they couldn’t come because of work, and they are still coming here to be with us over the weekend which means a lot. Plus his dad and brother are off Monday’s and Tuesday’s. And all the local people I invited had no issue with the day and time. Maybe the rest did cancel because of that and didn’t tell me though.