(Closed) Wedding is almost here and no one is coming

posted 5 years ago in Guests
Post # 16
218 posts
Helper bee

This is terrible! Why are people so inconsiderate? I had a bunch of friends that just couldn’t be bothered to com to my wedding. I was incredibly hurt and sad. But it ended up being for the best. You will have a beautiful wedding, don’t worry! And fortunately, you’ve got the best “guest’ of all – your groom.

Post # 17
105 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

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sparklies :  Me too girl.  We can’t hit our food and beverage minimum unless we spend ~$300 per person.  Not many drinkers in our bunch so just trying to do it with food and champagne has been flat out silly.

We knew all along that the number of attendees would be small since it is a destination wedding…but I guess I expected a few more family members to come out than actually ended up coming (we had some family members turn us down even though we offered to pay all their expenses to go!)


Invited: about 60

Attending: about 20 (I think that includes bride and groom)

Expected/hoped: about 30-40

My fiance keeps joking about how almost everyone who is coming is IN the wedding.  It’ll be like 5 people watching everyone else up there.


Post # 18
450 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

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sparklies :  I don’t think it would be rude at all. My sister was in a situation where people had changed their yes to no at the last minute. And so she asked if I wanted to invite a few friends. I was honest with my friends, and told them she had already paid for the seats, and would prefer to have them full rather than empty. Told them not to bring gifts, but to come have fun with us!! They ended up coming (and I think they did bring small gifts), and we had a blast!

Just be honest with them, and tell them no gifts. I would totally go!

Post # 19
8015 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I understand being disappointed that many will not or cannot attend. Travel is expensive and I’m sure there are a number of guests who would love to be there with you but just can’t make it work.

Your small, luxe wedding sounds absolutely fantastic to me. Try your best to enjoy the people who will be there. You really only need your Fiance, an officiant and a witness–you will have a great, core group of people there to celebrate with you. You will have a beautiful wedding. It is not a waste. 

Post # 20
417 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

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sparklies :  wow rarely do posts shock me but urs does. I cant believe they would miss ur big day!!! How rude!!! And to ignore your calls and whatnot!? Thats mind boggling. Moving across the country or not its pretty freakim rude to leave you stuck with a bill that could have been avoided by eloping. Id be so sad too. All i can say is just make the best of it, and after its over id be sure to let them know how u really feel. Sorry bee

Post # 21
880 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I’m so sorry!

It sounds like it will be an amazing intimate wedding. And yes, if there’s friends or coworkers that you didn’t invite, just be honest with them and tell them the situation. My best friend’s sister invited Fiance and I a couple weeks before her wedding for the same reasons (she called us personally and then sent the invite) and we were totally fine with it and had a BLAST.

Post # 22
1510 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

I think it’s very ok to invite some people last minute. I was a Bridesmaid or Best Man for a close childhood friend and she got several unexpected last-minute no’s. She asked if I wanted to invite my two sisters to come (my parents were already invited). One of them was available and came, she was seated at my table, and we had a great time! She later said how happy she was to be included, and was never insulted about not being initially invited.

Post # 23
2548 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

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sparklies :  awww, try not to think of it that way. It will be intimate, which is perfect for a wedding, and so fancy with all the add ons, I’m sure it will be absolutely beautiful! Try to think of it as a super exclusive.

Post # 24
918 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

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sparklies :  I feel for you bee, im in a similar boat. A 50% decline rate, which is pretty bad considering my family is just 2.5 hours away. His is in MI, an hour and a half plane ride and his STILL has more RSVPS on his side. A lot of the people on my mom’s side of the invites havent even bothered to awknowledge the wedding at all. I’ve been so frustrated in this process and I feel like it really speaks about who cares about about you.

I mean maybe that a little much…but its eye opening.

I think your wedding will be beauitful with all your upgrades. Try and think of it as the people who love you most will be there. If they couldnt even politely decline the RSVP or return your phone calls..ugh screw them seriously.

Post # 26
957 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

What day of the week is your wedding?


Im sorry this is happening. to not RSVP/return calls is rude. don’t stress, enjoy your wedding day!

Post # 27
474 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018 - Vineyard Lake

This is my biggest fear! I’m sure it will happen. I really, really, really want to elope or have a super small destination wedding but my Fiance doesn’t want to do that. So now he have to shell out a bunch of money for a handful of people who will show up & totally forego a honeymoon. It hardly seems worth it to me! 

So anyway, you are definitely not alone. It sucks but just try to make the most of it. It’s going to be absolutely amazing with or without all those people! 

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