(Closed) Wedding is driving me nuts!

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1514 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Sorry about the drama.  I would hold my ground and not be the go between.  You tried to help the bride and the guests out with your suggestions and she didn’t listen to your advice.

Post # 4
4480 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

What a messy situation to be in. I agree with IA Snowflake; try to stick to not being the go-between… that’s a job that never did anyone any good.

Post # 6
908 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Maybe you could suggest some of the guests could purchase gifts together?

Yeah, it’s bad that all of her registry items are really expensive but I wouldn’t let that stop me from going to a friends wedding.  If I wasn’t comfortable with the prices I’d just get them a gift card or cash.

Post # 7
1018 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

What an awkward situation to be in the middle of! My only suggestion is to put your foot down– it is not your job to be the go-between. Make this clear to people with NO exceptions. As for the bride… it sounds like you have handled her pretty well thus far. Maybe you could suggest that she get the groom involved in following up with guests.

Good luck!


Post # 8
1023 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

For those still planning on going to the wedding…nothing says that they have to buy gifts for the couple off the registry, or even at all. A wedding is not about getting loot. We invite guests because we want to share the day with them. Sorry I’m just frustrated by this bride…

Post # 9
541 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I know this is mean, but I’m imagining the bride a Jabba The Hut from Star Wars 

I’m so sorry you have to deal with this. Weddings seem to either pull people closer together or push people very far apart. I would just tell guests who can’t afford the gifts to gift cash or nothing at all if it’s a huge burden due to the economy.

Although I can’t believe they are complaining to you about it! I would just give her a gift that I could afford – even if it was something from Target for $20!

Post # 10
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Sorry to hear your dealing with this.  I would tell the guests that can’t afford gifts that they don’t have to get her something off the registry. That the registry is just a way to let others know what you would like or need.  If she doens’t like what they give her then it is her problem to return the items not theirs.

As for you being in the middle I recently was the Maid/Matron of Honor in my brother’s wedding and I encountered that several times. It is hard to not comment or not get caught up in the drama but you have to stay netural.  She will be family before too long and you’ll have to deal with her more later. So stay nice and don’t bad mouth to others. When I had someone complaining to me I would change the subject to something unwedding related.

Good luck

Post # 12
2271 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I have yet to purchase anything from a registry for any occassion, be it a baby shower or wedding. I haven’t a clue why people feel obligated to buy from a registry. I would simply tell guests they do not have to get the gift from the registry and they should give what they feel comfortable giving. Unless the person receiving the gift was extrremely close, there is no way I would spend $180 on a gift. My standard wedding gift is $50.

Post # 13
2819 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Ugh. What a messy situation!

I would tell the bride straight up why people haven’t sent in their response cards. And I would let guests know that they don’t HAVE to buy off the registry and that, if they want, they can bring cash/cheque or a giftcard.

That said, I think the bride is being extremely inconsiderate about this whole thing.

It sucks to be the go-between. I hope you get out of that situation soon! 

Post # 14
262 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I’m guessing this bride isn’t too affected by our terrible economy these days with the layoffs and uncertainty all around?  Perhaps she should be reminded of that, find an article or a particularly poignant story about how tough it is for so many people right now and just email it to her or point it out to her, even a comment of "How wonderful to be marrying and having a joyful day at a time when so many things are so tough".  Perhaps that will get through to her?

Sounds like she’s being super difficult.  I agree that you shouldn’t be in the middle.  But if you’re feelign it is necessary to mediate, that is where I would go- just point out the obvious and give her some reminders of what a wedding is really all about. 

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