Post # 1
So obviously at this point stress is running a little high. I am really doing my best not to let it get to me but one thing is really driving me nuts. My Fh’s best friend has not bought his ticket yet, after he rsvped “yes”
Our wedding is literally in a week and I am so stressed over this. Thank goodness we are not having a bridal party because he would be in it an that would really cause a problem.
I really like his friend, think he is a nice guy and all, and I know that my fiance really wants him to be there but when do I say “enough is enough, at this point we can’t count on you?”
I put the guest count in without him despite his confirmed rsvp. We can add on to the guest count but we cannot subtract. But now, my seating chart is due. This is a small wedding, 70 people and 2 not showing up, him and his girlfriend would totally be noticed.
I am so stumped on what to do and it is really one of my only main stresses. I just want to take care of it somehow.
Post # 3
Are you saying he hasn’t bought his plane ticket yet? If that’s the case, don’t worry about it – it’s his responsibility to make sure he gets there on time, not yours. Maybe he’s driving or taking the train instead?
Post # 4
Yes, buy his plane ticket. But when my fiance asked him about it he started talking money and said it might just be him or neither of them at this point. Like he may not show. I am so frustrated. I know the economy is tough right now, iIjust wish people wouldn’t commit to something they may not be able to do.
Post # 5
call him tonight. tell him you have to give firm numbers to the caterer. He must know by now whether or not he is coming.
Post # 6
Maybe have your Fiance call and say, “hey, we’d love to see you, but we understand things are tough. Is there any way you could make a firm decision now, only because we need to have our numbers for our final plans? If you just can’t make it, it’s ok. We understand, we just need to know.”
Direct, tactful, and gets the job done! 🙂
Post # 7
I wouldn’t stress about that. It isnt like your guest are going to be counting everyone there and see who is missing. I feel bad for your Fiance though because I am sure he really wants his good friend there and it was sux for him not to be there. But I wouldn’t stress about that.
Post # 8
Sorry he is being a pain. I would also assume that he is going to be a no-show at this point.
As far as tables… We had a table of 8, and 4 didn’t show up. Same with a table of 7, 4 didn’t show. No one said anything except for me and my mother.
Post # 9
It drives me crazy too when people are non-commital. But I think for the most part, people are just completely clueless as to the purpose of an RSVP. I think if they are made aware of the cost and planning ramifications at their inability to commit, they will be more likely to commit to going or not.
I would ask your Fiance to call him tonight and explain the reason for your wanting to know. I am sure once he finds out that he will be costing you guys extra money/time, he will commit immediately.
Sometimes people’s attempt at being nice can backfire. Maybe he is trying to be nice by telling you he is coming, not realizing that leading you on about his arrival is actually causing you more headache. Communicating that will be helpful.
Post # 10
I wouldn’t stress about it. Honestly 70 people is still a fairly large number, if it helps, I really don’t think 2 people missing will be that noticeable to anyone other than you.
Post # 11
I understand…it’s totally frustrating when people are so wishy washy about whether or not they’re coming. You just want them to make a decision either way. This is a wedding, not a dinner party! They have to know that this is costing you money per head.
At this point, you said that you gave your numbers to the caterer without them…I would keep it that way until you get a firm commitment from him and leave it at that. It’s his own fault if he doesn’t give you a commitment until a few days before and there’s no seat for him! If something like that happens, it’s easier to add a few seats with two place cards rather than having two glaringly empty chairs at a table.
Post # 12
I would just act like they are coming and put them at a table and leave it up to them to get there. It’s better to have a spot for them if they come than not. And i wouldn’t stress too much – we have a groomsmen that still hasn’t gotten fitted so im worried about him showing up also. But honestly it is his problem to figure out travel and money issues. I know how annoying and what a pain things like this can be but it comes down to the fact that you really can’t keep tabs on everyone! it is their responsibility and it is sad that they can’t be relied upon.
Post # 13
Thanks ladies. I feel a little better. Still a bit annoyed. Mainly sad for my fiance. I will let you know how it goes tonight.