(Closed) Wedding is in 1 week and fiance’s best friend has not bought ticket

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

Are you saying he hasn’t bought his plane ticket yet? If that’s the case, don’t worry about it – it’s his responsibility to make sure he gets there on time, not yours. Maybe he’s driving or taking the train instead?

Post # 5
Member
5890 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

call him tonight.  tell him you have to give firm numbers to the caterer.  He must know by now whether or not he is coming.

Post # 6
Member
2496 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

Maybe have your Fiance call and say, “hey, we’d love to see you, but we understand things are tough.  Is there any way you could make a firm decision now, only because we need to have our numbers for our final plans?  If you just can’t make it, it’s ok.  We understand, we just need to know.”

Direct, tactful, and gets the job done! 🙂

Post # 7
Member
1545 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I wouldn’t stress about that. It isnt like your guest are going to be counting everyone there and see who is missing. I feel bad for your Fiance though because I am sure he really wants his good friend there and it was sux for him not to be there. But I wouldn’t stress about that.

Post # 8
Member
1752 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Sorry he is being a pain.  I would also assume that he is going to be a no-show at this point.

As far as tables… We had a table of 8, and 4 didn’t show up.  Same with a table of 7, 4 didn’t show.  No one said anything except for me and my mother.

Post # 9
Member
1254 posts
Bumble bee

It drives me crazy too when people are non-commital. But I think for the most part, people are just completely clueless as to the purpose of an RSVP. I think if they are made aware of the cost and planning ramifications at their inability to commit, they will be more likely to commit to going or not.

I would ask your Fiance to call him tonight and explain the reason for your wanting to know. I am sure once he finds out that he will be costing you guys extra money/time, he will commit immediately.

Sometimes people’s attempt at being nice can backfire. Maybe he is trying to be nice by telling you he is coming, not realizing that leading you on about his arrival is actually causing you more headache. Communicating that will be helpful.

Post # 10
Member
166 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I wouldn’t stress about it. Honestly 70 people is still a fairly large number, if it helps, I really don’t think 2 people missing will be that noticeable to anyone other than you. 

Post # 11
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

I understand…it’s totally frustrating when people are so wishy washy about whether or not they’re coming. You just want them to make a decision either way. This is a wedding, not a dinner party! They have to know that this is costing you money per head.

At this point, you said that you gave your numbers to the caterer without them…I would keep it that way until you get a firm commitment from him and leave it at that. It’s his own fault if he doesn’t give you a commitment until a few days before and there’s no seat for him! If something like that happens, it’s easier to add a few seats with two place cards rather than having two glaringly empty chairs at a table.

Post # 12
Member
1518 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I would just act like they are coming and put them at a table and leave it up to them to get there. It’s better to have a spot for them if they come than not. And i wouldn’t stress too much – we have a groomsmen that still hasn’t gotten fitted so im worried about him showing up also. But honestly it is his problem to figure out travel and money issues. I know how annoying and what a pain things like this can be but it comes down to the fact that you really can’t keep tabs on everyone! it is their responsibility and it is sad that they can’t be relied upon.

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