(Closed) Wedding is in 10 days – people cancelling

posted 5 years ago in Guests
Post # 2
Member
1332 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

WanderingAlbertan:  You are correct, it IS rude.  People usually get plenty of notice for a wedding, and also, have a window of time to properly let you know they cannot attend (via RSVP’s), which for many affairs, are not due until 3-4 weeks before the event.  

BUT, I digress, and acknowledge it is a very real and annoying part of life!!!  We had someone text my husband AT OUR REHEARSAL, the day before, to tell us him and his wife could not attend because he forgot he had a bachelor party the next day (AKA:  He got a better invite for a more fun event – in his mind anyways).  It was super annoying, because we truly did not need to know at that point that they were not coming, or really, any point as there were a handful more no shows the day of, of which we could have cared less in that moment they were not there!!

NOT being ‘that’ person only makes you a better person.  Do not get me wrong, my now hubby and I had a legit emergency come up the day of a friends wedding, and did not end up makign it to their celebration 🙁  We sent them a card explaining what happened with a gift that was doubled what we would have given had we attended (to cover our expenses)!!  Hang in there 🙂

Post # 3
Member
719 posts
Busy bee

I hear you.  Whatever you do, do not read all the posts on this board complaining about guests list being too long, not having room for plus ones, RSVP write-ins, people otherwise inviting themselves to weddings…all the grand standing about how important people are and how all these people are dying to come to their events will just make you feel worse.

Post # 6
Member
719 posts
Busy bee

WanderingAlbertan:  I’m with you 100%.  I’m having a small wedding myself and have had some people that I really wanted to be there RSVP no for various reasons.  My point is that other people should appreciate it when people want to come to their events, because declines and cancellations make you appreciate all the more each and every person who is there.

Post # 7
Member
3725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

WanderingAlbertan:  I do not think you’ll have many more cancellations. Hang in there! We had 3 or 4 cancel the week of the wedding and that was it. Hopefully you are all set now!

Post # 8
Member
1283 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017 - Baton Rouge, LA

 

WanderingAlbertan:  we had to give a final head count 7 days before the wedding, and paid $40/head. The week leading up to the wedding we had about 6 cancels. on the wedding day i had about 6 people tell me they werent going to make it. and at least another 8 no shows. thats $800 down the effing drain. it sucks. and is real messed up. its been over a week and im still trying to get over it.

just know that the ones who are there are the ones who TRULY care. you’ll have a fabulous time and not even think about those that arent there, i promise. the week after, you might be ticked lol but it wont ruin your actual wedding day at all.

Post # 9
Member
2257 posts
Buzzing bee

I would go into dragon mode. We have limited seating available, and there are people we can’t invite because we HAVE to invite certain family members. And if they cancel at the last minute, that’s a seat (or more) that could have been given to someone who really wants to be there.

I understand if you’re ill, or if there’s an emergency, but not going because you don’t want to be alone, or because there’s a bachelor party to go to. Weak sauce.

However, please don’t be like my friend and go around at your own wedding and blast the guests who didn’t come. My friend went around at her reception and was going on and on about the 7 or so people who didn’t show up or who canceled the day before. She kept saying, “Eat more if you want, there’s plenty left over. 7 people didn’t show up. Yeah, $85 a plate! I’m going to send them a message on Facebook saying ‘Thanks for coming, a-hole.'” Talk about an ungracious host…

Post # 10
Member
2331 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

WanderingAlbertan:  Gosh that sucks I’m sorry…… But here is a little idea…… Did you invite any friends without a +1? 

Maybe you can call them and tell them you had a couple of cancelations and would lIke to extend them a +1 for their bf or gf or whatever……

My friend was kind enough to do that for me on her wedding. I had been dating my now husband for a few months and she called me a couple of weeks before the wedding and told me I could bring him if I pleased. 

Thats an idea……..

 

Post # 14
Member
9544 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Aw! I’m sorry people are bailing. It happens. I had 4 people let me know that they couldn’t come a couple days before the wedding (illness and a thrown out back). But the 6 that just simply no-showed were more annoying. That being said, it was such a fun and busy day, it didn’t bother me in the slightest. Their loss. Just focus on the fact that you’re marrying your husband and don’t let annoying guests get to you!

Post # 15
Member
355 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

The only time we almost didn’t show up to a wedding after RSVPing was when our flight was canceled 20 minutes before we were supposed to leave for the airport. We ended up hightailing it to the airport and buying expensive tickets on a cheap-o airline’s last minute red eye flight. Fun times.

On our way speeding to the airport, my Fiance asked if he should text the bride to let her know we might not make it. And I was like DO NOT DO. If we can’t get tickets to this flight, we’ll send an I’m sorry card after her wedding and another gift or something. But his line of thought made me realize that most people don’t know how stressful the days leading up to a wedding are. If the RSVPs are turned in, stick to your RSVP as best you can and don’t bother the bride and groom about it!

Anyway, I feel ya. I have a feeling the same people who wrangle extra plus ones are going to be the no shows at our wedding. It’s not intentional, it’s just that they don’t get how weddings work.

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